Jon Stewart disconsolate, on suicide watch!
Uppity Shiksa hails from New Zealand and studied at Rutgers with Muffti. She works with ck putting up Web sites for every single Jewish organization in the world. Or so it seems. Last week she said “ck? I’m gonna be out of town for a couple of days, ok?” Little did I know that our next communication would be an email announcing that she and uh… her uppity sheigetz (?) went off to Vegas and done gone and got eloped! The Uppity Shiksa is pleased to also inform Tiffy that she is now next in line in the secret “Marry Jon Stewart Marriage Pact.”
The happy couple is celebrating their honeymoon in balmy Montreal fingering each other’s tattoos. Be sure to sign their guestbook and view their gallery at OnlySimchas.com.
I’m not kidding. Here’s their Guest book’s first entry:
Mamesh Gevalt! Mazel Tov!
- Hawk Tuah Girl Haliey Welch is Not Jewish. Probably. - 8/9/2024
- Jews Blessed by their High Priests - 10/14/2022
- Foolproof Mufletta Recipe & Muflettapalooza / Mimouna Invite! - 3/26/2021
You see, CK? I told you that phrase was a standout…
I figured “fingering each other’s tattoos” would be more civil than “f*cking each other’s brains out.”
Aww, thanks ck, and everyone else, for your good wishes. And you even spelled my name right for once! The Uppity Shiksa is touched — and would like to assure Janice & Muffti that she will remain, as ever, both the go-to and the go-go gal up here. But now I gotta get back to fingering my husband’s tattoos… (ck, really, how do you come up with this stuff?)
Mazal tov. IYH/IBH by all of us. Except those of us who are already married. In which case, go away.
josh – in case the uppity shiksa moniker didn’t give it away, neither that chassan nor the kallah are Jewish – which might explain why the anouncement was pulled from Only Simchas …
Muffti is sure that Sam will still be the ‘go-go’ girl around there…
I’m so happy for you Sam! But does this mean that you won’t be working late hours anymore working on our website? I hope that you have many years of happiness together, yet still be the Sam who is THE “go-to” person around there.
The Muffti congratulates Uppity Shikseh as well.
Mazel Tov, Sam!
Two days ago, I also found out about a Jewlicious friend in Montreal (not the same) who flew to Vegas and eloped with his beshert.
I wonder how that works. Did they all fly down with ‘edim’ to the ceremony? What about edim to declare that all parties are single, or officially divorced?
Mazal tov y’all!!