Uh... what??Mark Ames of the New York Press writes a kinda funny, kinda scary primer on Evangelical hopes and aspirations with respect to themselves, the Jews, the rapture and the apocalypse.

The Evangelicals’ late-20th-century strategy of embracing Jews as their biggest, bestest friends in the whole wide world reads like an updated Hansel and Gretel, with Evans playing the witch luring Hymie and Gilah into his West Bank lair in order to cook them.

Or, it has a King Kong quality to it, like tying up Fay Wrayberg to a Hebron IDF outpost in order to cajole Jesus Kong out of the heavenly jungle so that he can lord over the cross-chucking savages—except that at least Fay Wray survives in the original. Not so the Jews of Michael Evans’ fantasy.

Of course Jewlicious has already discussed this issue but Ames is much, much funnier than that Jewlicious weenie “The Middle.”

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About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

20 Comments

  • Ouais. T’est vraiment bête. J’ai une copine qui habite en Belgique – elle m’a appris le terme “Mega-Nul.” Mega Nul, c’est toi! But maybe I am wasting all this French… do they speak French in Lithuania?

  • I read that the other day…he may in some ways have a point, but the whole Torah being the work of desert hicks doesn’t sit well (although it may technically be true). And more than a few Evangelical Christians have distanced themselves from the whole “The Jews all accept Jesus or die” thing.

  • Don’t take it too badly – how can you compete with lines like

    I was most shocked by the New Testament. Even though I’d spent so much time in churches and chapels as a child, I don’t ever remember hearing actual passages from that half. That’s because the book is insane. For one thing, it is violently anti-Jew—so much so that I can’t imagine how anyone could read that book, accept it as Truth, and not want to hop on a horse and go trampling through the Upper West Side or Sherman Oaks with a whip and a torch.

    or

    Truth is, we secular humanists, nihilists and the like no longer have a real claim to America. We’re foreigners in a nation of cross-chuckers. We may live in the best parts—within 10 miles of the ocean coasts and a few enclaves in the interior—but the same could be said for expatriates living in any Third World country. Like expatriates in the Third World, our good lifestyles are purchased at the expense of the credulous natives, who are easy to exploit, a little slow and easily diverted by their crazy superstitions. But in the end we are guests in their country. America is theirs, and we’d better get used to it.

    You just can’t. And no one thinks less of you for it.

  • What? I thought they were giving out Nobels to Jews like candy… didn’t you already get one? I myself have at least three sitting around here somewhere ….

  • 2 Rina, ur just another pathetic jewish dickhead.
    And I am a complete loser with absolutely no life. I think I will bang my head against a wall until I pass out. That’s what we do for fun in Vilnius.

  • “I will bang my head against a wall until I pass out. ”

    You’ve got to stop that son. You ain’t acting right no more.

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