beaceWhere da money at, yo?

Soon, we here at Jewlicious will be rolling in mad cash, thanks no less to Yassir Arafat and his unscrupulous cronies! What am I talking about? Well, check out this amazing email I got this morning (and no, this is NOT a joke or a parody):

PLEASE I PLEADE WITH YOU TO VIEW THIS WEB PAGE BEFORE CONSIDERING

Assalamu alaikum,

MY NAME IS MOHAMMED FAYYAD FROM PALESTINE. I WORKED WITH THE REGIME OF YASSER ARAFAT AS HIS SECRET PESONAL ASSISTANCE. WE HANDLE ALL HIS FINANCIAL PLANS AND OTHERS.

SIR I KNOW THE IMPRESSION THE WORLD HAS ABOUT ANY BODY FROM MY COUNTRY PALESTINE,DURING MY TIME WITH THE FORMER REGIME,I WAS ABLE TO SECRETLY SECURE THE SUM OF $25.5 MILLION US DOLLARS. WHICH WAS KEPT SAFELY OUTSIDE PALESTINE VIA A SECRET DIPLOMATIC MEANS WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF YASSER ARAFAT TO A SECURITY FIRM IN EUROPE. THE FACT THAT THE FUND IS OUTSIDE PALESTINE NOW THAT IS MY HAPPINESS, BUT I AM STILL HIDING IN PALESTINE TRYING TO SEE HOW I CAN GET OUT, SINCE MY BOSS YASSER ARAFAT IS DEAD. I NEED YOUR URGENT AND SINCERE ASSISTANCE TO HELP ME CLEAR THE MONEY FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSES TILL I COME OUT OF PALESTINE TO MEET WITH YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY.
I WILL LET YOU KNOW THE LOCATION AS WELL AS THE DETAILED INFORMATION AS SOON AS YOU ASSURE ME THAT I CAN RELY ON YOU WITHOUT BEING BETRAYED. PLEASE FOR SAFETY PURPOSE, IT IS BETTER WE LIMIT OUT COMMUNICATION TO EMAIL, FOR NOW. YOU ARE GOING TO INVEST THE FUND FOR ME IN YOUR COUNTRY AND YOU WILL GET 35% OF WHATEVER INVESTMENT WE VENTURE INTO.

I WILL APPRECIATE IF YOU REPLY ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

THANKS,
SINCERELY,
MOHAMMED FAYYAD

Heh. Those kooky Nigerians! Always up to their shenanigans.

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About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

8 Comments

  • Muffti wants to know: DUDE! WHAT are you waiting for? Get that money! Muffti needs to pay rent!

  • Did Palestine become a country under Yassir Arafat? Mohammed Fayyad seems to think so. I would like to ‘assure’ him he can trust me to safely invest his money in a worthy cause.

  • I wish I could remember the site address, but there’s this site that tracks Nigerian 419 scams, and plays them. Meaning, they respond as if there were victims, but do everything they can to either humiliate the scammer, or cost the scammer money. For example, one guy got a scammer to send him $100. That’s right. He had the excuse all worked out: before he could send the scammer the $25,000, there was this custom in America that the other party would send a small token amount, as a symbol of the deal. He went on and on in e-mails to the scammer about that. And refused to send the money without it. The scammer sent the money. It was funny as hell. They’ve also gotten scammers to dress up in women’s clothes, etc.

    I just wish I could remember where I saw all that.

  • Repeated?

    Sorry, I won’t do it again. I didn’t realize that in this rarefied zip code it was considered tacky. The things we learn when visiting far off locals.

    Thanks for the tip.

    (You’ll notice the comment section on my own blog is overflowing with selfserving plugs. Perhaps this is why I thought it was ok. Sorry again.)

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