How much do I love The Onion?

“We thought about calling it Cherry-heit 9-11, but we already have Cherry Garcia,” Heimert said. “Fahrenheit 31.1 was the next choice, but we didn’t think everyone would make the connection between the proper temperature for storing ice cream and the film that broke the theatrical documentary box-office record by seamlessly blending comedy with hard-hitting fact.”

“We also considered a name reminiscent of our popular Chubby Hubby flavor,” Heimert said. “But in the end, we decided The Waffle Truth would be more respectful to Moore’s achievements than a flavor called Hefty Lefty.”

“Other Ben & Jerry’s flavors slated for introduction in 2005 are Praline Kael, Noam ChompChompsky Crunch, Ché Guava, and Nelson Vanilla, an anti-apartheid flavor that consists of a dark-chocolate sorbet swirled in an equal amount of vanilla ice cream.”

About the author

Laya Millman


  • Mmm…anti-apartheid sounds delicious!

    The Onion, as usual, is quite heart-able. I loved their “excerpt from George W.’s blog” a few months back…

  • well, i always figured if i met micheal moore id tell him to “eat me” or “bite me” so i guess now we can do that to him.

  • Well i guess i cant eat Ben and Jerry’s ice cream anymore….boycott offically starts now.

  • my dads been boycotting them for a while now because of something about them being comunists lol and now this just gives him more reason to boycot.

  • Uh Zevi? The Onion is a humor magazine. This report is a joke. Did you really think any with half a brain would market a Michael Moore flavor? Or Noam ChompChompsky Crunch? Or Nelson Vanilla?

  • I wonder if the ChompChompsky Crunch would make me want to hate myself for eating it? The Waffle Truth would make me intolorant of republican lactose. Che Guava would incite revolution, in my stomach. And Nelson Vanilla would be a black ice cream in a white man’s belly.

    I have no shame.

  • “Waffle,” was the symbol that Garry Trudeau used to depict President Bill Clinton in his “Doonesbury” comic strip when Clinton was in office in the 90’s. So I think that “The Waffle Truth” would be a more appropriate name for an ice cream dedicated to Bill Clinton than to Michael Moore.

  • Janice: Bill Clinton is actually better known for that stain on Monica Lewinsky’s dress. I don’t even want to know how they would incorporate that into an ice cream flavor, and I certainly don’t want to contemplate what it would taste like …

    But if pressed I would imagine something like really bad vanilla and beer.

    Welcome back to the east coast J.

  • Actually i never herd about the Onion. And yes i think they would. I know many many liberal friends that would gobble up this like they did his propoganda. Soon, everyone will look like Michael Moore….

  • I like to think of myself as liberal. But still… “Soon, everyone will look like Michael Moore” cracked me up. Some liberals really are very, very silly.

  • wait….i am not a liberal…in my house that is a curse word. B’emet!!