HoodiosWe all know what talented musicians the Hip Hop Hoodios are. We recently featured their new video Gorrito Cosmico, they played at our Jewlicious conference and they are a client of mine. They’re pretty chill dudes too. Well, they were pretty chill until Heeb Magazine pissed them off with an ethnic slur aimed at latinos.

That’s right. A magazine named after an ethnic slur against one group printed an ethnic slur against another. Imagine that. Here at Jewlicious, we are shocked. Shocked! But seriously, what the hell is going on at Heeb anyway? Is this what they have to resort to in order to shock? Feh. Heeb is so over (but Seth Olenick is hella cool). Do however continue and read the whole story as we reproduce a letter sent out by Josh Norek and Abraham Vélez that details this outrage. Read it, it’s pretty bombastic! Go Josh and Abe! Olé!

Heeb Photo Issue

THE NEW JEW REVIEW…OF MEAN-SPIRITED ETHNO-CENTRISM?

Dearest Heeb:
Wit and irreverence, we’re down with that. As a Latino-Jewish urban music collective that serves up our own fair share of trilingual irony, we in Hip Hop Hoodíos appreciate the fact that a magazine dedicated to Jewish hipsters – and the goyim who love them – exists. We’re no strangers to ethnic slurs, and re-claiming them as you’ve done with “heeb.” However, you went too far when you recently made a joke at the expense of Latinos.

Now let’s first get something straight: it goes without saying that what subjects and bands to cover – or not – is the prerogative of a publication’s editorial staff, period.

With that said, we have been suspicious for some time about the fact that a magazine like Heeb has never once written about Hip Hop Hoodíos, a young, openly Jewish act that continues to transcend cultures and land in heavy rotation on networks like MTV-Espanol, or in the pages of glossy Latin-alternative magazines like La Banda Elastica. (And that’s just the tip of the goldberg of our media profile.) We’ve been made aware of at least four writers who have pitched Hoodios stories to your editorial staff, without success. So you can imagine how we felt when we did finally find ourselves in the pages of Heeb — not as the subject of editorial ink, but in the form of a racially-dismissive “joke” that more than a few of our fans (and most Latinos who’ve seen it) find quite offensive.

Back in November 2004, we mailed you a copy of our new album ‘Agua Pa’ La Gente’ accompanied by a good-natured letter in which we jokingly threatened to mail you bags of spicy chicharones until you showed us some love. We were greeted with these culturally-ignorant and racist words:

“We refuse to dignify with a response to your insinuation that we are biased toward Latin Jews, especially since we hear you guys all carry knives.”

Particularly in the context of your active disinterest in writing about the Hoodios, there is no way to take this “joke” as fun, funny, good-natured, or even edifying – all it does is say, “We don’t wanna write about you, and furthermore, here’s some defamation about your ethnic heritage on the way out, just for the heck of it. Bye!” Young and Hip, Old and not-Hip, either way, Jews should know better than to print ethnic slander so casually.

Care to explain yourselves, Heebiecito?

And something tells us that if we were black rather than Latin, you would not have dared write anything along those lines, i.e. “especially since we hear you people chuck spears with such deadly aim!”

Let’s flip the script for a second. Imagine if a hipster Hispanic publication greeted a Jewish artist with the comment “We refuse to dignify with a response to your insinuation that we are biased toward Jews, especially since we hear you guys all have hidden horns on your heads.”

Most likely, Abraham Foxman and the ADL would be launching a picket assembly in front of said offending Latino magazine quicker than you snobs could say “where’s my Dominican nanny?” And rightfully so.

Wake up, Heeb. If your idea of ‘funny’ is mocking Latinos, it’s time to re-evaluate yourselves; it won’t be so funny next time when the shoe is on the other foot and some Chicano kid in Texas is laughing at the “Jewish bloodsuckers.”

Regardless, we demand a printed apology from Heeb. If your editors are too smug to recognize their mistake, our fans will be more than happy to point it out to you in the form of a high-profile online petition and cancelled subscriptions.

Sincerely yours,

Josh Norek
Abraham Vélez

P.S. – we still remember your editor handing out copies of Heeb at Hip Hop Hoodios’ very first concert at Makor back in 2002. Apparently, Latin-Jewish events are a really ‘cool’ place for Heeb to self-promote and at which to be seen. As long as those Spanish-speaking folks don’t actually have to be seen in your mag – other than for a mean-spirited racial jab…

P.P.S. – It is truly not just the members of Hip Hop Hoodios’ who found your comment offensive. Below is just one of several emails we received from a Heeb subscriber:

— J-Growrote:
> Date: Tue, 03 May 2005 17:15:44 -0400
> From: J-Gro
> To: Hip Hop Hoodios
> Subject: Hoodios/Heeb
>
> If Heeb were smart they would do a music issue and
> feature Hip Hop Hoodios prominently. Their latest issue
> is pretty weak; the Heeb “Photo Issue” contains the “Heeb 100”
> which is supposed to be pictures and brief synopsis of Jewish
> movers and shakers. This appears to be comprised primarily of
> pictures of people that they think are cute, or their friends.
> I mean Gideon Yago, made the friggin list. I thought his 15
> minutes were up….
>
> I’ll send a letter to the editor telling Heeb that I
> will not renew my subscription unless they show you
> guys some respect. That racist comment in the letter-to-the editor
> section is simply inexcusable.

Silly Heeb Magazine. Latino Jews don’t carry knives – Moroccan Jews do! And if you make fun of us, I will fucking cut you. I will.

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About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

86 Comments

  • That “epithet calling the other minority group an epithet” thing seems very post-modern or meta- or something.

    I have to say that I think Heeb’s photo spreads are incredibly inventive (just look at that cover…doing lines of chrayn on a mirror?_, but on the whole, I’m totally over Heeb, mostly because I think their irreverence comes from a negative place. I love to poke fun at other Jews, the community, and even the traditions, but I hope that people can see that I do it from a place of love. I never got that sense from Heeb…it was all alienation and denigration and urban hipsterishness, which I couldn’t embrace.

    Ole to the Hoodios, and I hope they get the apology they’re looking for. But I hope none of them are holding their breath.

  • Heeb was so UNCOOL from the start it’s not even funny. Must have been thought of by a bunch of ex-Israelis in America. So OUT OF TOUCH with REGULAR American Jews (as opposed to Ortho, Modern, almost modern flexidox, etc. etc. etc….)…I know, I used to be one!

  • Before my Jewlicious days, I sent a story proposal to Heeb that opened with standard mazel tovs on having such a thing at all and well wishes for the publication which then flowed into a proposal. I never heard a peep back from them. Not even a rejection letter. About a year later having still never contacted me they decided to print the first few sentences of my letter, completely out of context as a Letter to the Editor, signed Laya, Jerusalem.
    Chutzpah!
    Like what? they didnt get enough actual Letters to the Editor and needed to start digging thru the proposal archives?

    By then I had actually SEEN a copy of Heeb (it does sound good in theory, does it not?) and was frankly embarrassed at having my name associated. Sigh. Where have all the real Jewish hipsters gone?

  • Heeb sux, It should be called Dirty Yuppy Leftist upper East side Jew cause its cool…. Magazine has hardly anything to with real Jewish issues, completely one sided, and seems to want to just show Goyim how uber cool Jews are, and how on top of the scene we are…..

  • oh please.

    a) in context, i think that joke is fuckin hillarious, and that you guys are a bunch of friggin’ cry babies. “we won’t even dignify your allegations that we are racist!” followed by a racist remark. it is total hipster irony, and if you don’t get it, that’s speaks either to the failure of your intellect or the failure of your sense of humor.
    b) i think they’re nice guys, but seriously, the hoodios blow, which is likely why heeb hasn’t covered them. they don’t have good MC voices, their lyrics are trite and childish, and they’ve been exploiting the same hackneyed themes throughout their last two albums. their production, on the other hand, is pretty tight, and for that i can appreciate them. but realistically? they suck.
    c) heeb isn’t ‘so’ last week; heeb’s just getting started. they’re finally on a real publishing schedule, and their content is constantly improving. don’t forget, heeb isn’t a commercial enterprise, it’s run with an all volunteer staff. if you don’t like its direction, why not volunteer and put your two cents in instead of ragging on people who are volunteering their time to make something fun and interesting which the vast majority of you bastards get for free at the events the magazine co-sponsors? like YOURS ck!
    d) “Must have been thought of by a bunch of ex-Israelis in America.” hah. the founding editor, jenn bleyer, is an american jew who spent a fair amount of time living on the carlebach moshav outside modi’in. last time i saw her was at kol zimrah for davening. clearly, a self-hating jew.

    seriously y’all: don’t hate the player yo. hate the game.

  • perhaps the “afrocentrism” that so predominates jewish-hipster self-parody these days (see “Who Let The Jews Out”, “Shabot6000’s 50-Cent Animation”, Heeb Magazine’s “Damn That’s One Big Ass Cracker” shtick, 2 Live Jews, etc. etc. etc.), will soon be replaced with “latinocentrism” — hey, see? our oppression can be just like theirs now! we can identify our socio-racial problems with the latin-americans/carribeans/spanish! manisciewitz enchiladas for everyone! why must jewish hipsters always seek an other to appropriate? and in that sense, are the Hoodios’ methods really any different that those of Heeb’s? they themselves are self-proclaimed jewish hipsters, after all… (not that i have any beefs with the Hoodios’ letter — they were right on, and deserve an apology, no questions asked).

  • p.s. mobius, your “total hipster irony” is in the same category to me as your “punk rock erotica” — you seem to enjoy polishing turds with your euphemisms.

  • mobius, Jenn Bleyer hung out at the moshav? Like, more than once? I lived there for a while at the Solomon’s and spent many many shabbats and haggim there and I never heard of her in those parts. Who did she normally stay by?

    And like I said above, I did try to volunteer my services to Heeb. They didn’t want me. I’m not playa hatin’ but i was disappointed when I finally saw the magazine. There just didn’t seem to be anything authentically Jewish about it other than some tired cliches being oh so cleverly turned on thier heads. I’m a believer that Judaism actually is cool. We shouldn’t have to fake it so badly.

  • Oh Moby…
    Hipster Irony? Is that different from plain ol’ vanilla irony? See it’s one thing to make fun of yourself or to reclaim a racial epithet and use it for empowerment purposes – the way African Americans use “nigger” or the way Heeb Magazine uses “Heeb.” That kind of irony is cool and meaningful. But you can’t really do that when it doesn’t apply to you – and I am assuming that Heeb Magazine staffers are not latinos. I mean they may have been raised by latino nannies but that doesn’t make you latino… and I say this having complete confidence in the integrity of both my intelect and sense of humour.

    Moby wrote: i think they’re nice guys, but seriously, the hoodios blow, which is likely why heeb hasn’t covered them.

    Many would beg to differ. I sure do. But what do I know about hipster cred… I wasn’t raised on the Upper East Side, and my parents aren’t lawyers and socialites. All I know is that HHH are a good time. They may also be sensitive given that about half their following are actual real life latinos. So the music editor at Heeb may not like ’em, but maybe his parents cook Consuela does.

    As for ragging on Heeb, dude – you know its well deserved. I did my fair bit, tried to get involved, but to no avail. In lieu of that I purchased their magazine but what can I say? It sucks. And yes, they did give out free copies of Heeb at Jewlicious @ The Beach but we gave back to them – tons of free publicity on posters and exposure all over the west coast. Look, I hope they get better, but so far I have been decidedly underwhelmed.

    Jen Bleyer a self-hating Jew? Who said that?? It’s just cute all these folks discovering that their judaism may in fact be cool. It’s a message that rings hollow to those of us who always knew our Judaism was cool.

  • And this is where judaism goes wrong…self-hating jews, real jews, latino jews, upper east side jews, hipster jews….the underlying fact is that we are ALL jews, whether we think it’s cool or not, regardless of what language we speak or where we’ve been brought up or how many times we go to shul or pray. It is this lingering desire to segment ourselves that helps others tear us down. people please….ain’t nothing less ‘jewlicious’ than having to prove just how ‘jewish’ you are. enough.

    Further, we have no right to ask that people not hate us for who we are if we do not offer that in return. i’ve always believed that we as jews need to take the lead on this and step in EVERY single time another race, creed, group, people gets slammed for being who they are. let’s not do it to ourselves.

  • DIE HEEB DIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!WHEN HEEB SHALL DIE I WILL DANCE ON ITS GRAVE!!!.Seriously saying “yo Shalom ,motherfucker” every two lines isnt a cool expression of Jewish identity .In fact its not an expression of anything Jewish. I dont think its even an identity at all.

  • Muffti hates to say it, but he thinks he mostly agrees with Mob. Well, at least with respect to the racial slur. That was just funny. Muffti is no hipster, but even he can appreciate the irony in it. You guys are being a bunch of fucking crybabies. As were the Hoodios in that letter. Seriously, this part really gave it away:

    Particularly in the context of your active disinterest in writing about the Hoodios, there is no way to take this “joke” as fun, funny, good-natured, or even edifying – all it does is say, “We don’t wanna write about you, and furthermore, here’s some defamation about your ethnic heritage on the way out, just for the heck of it. Bye!”

    Muffti is a happy Leftie but even he can see through the PC doublespeak. Translation for y’all:

    You guys didn’t write a story on us. So we take everything you say too seriously, because, well, you won’t do a story on us. Waaaaaaah!’

    Shameful. Look, the guys are musicians. They put out songs, albums and videos. When you have exposure like that an a relevantly shared audience with s/he that dissed you, you do it through your art and fight back proper. Videos mocking Heeb. Songs mocking heeb. Artists are supposed to be creative: so get them back creatively. Only pussies demand written appologies and organizes desubscription drives.

  • I remember a completely moronic article in some NYC magaizne about the new young “cool Jews who are totally interested in their Jewish identity” although they arent tointerested in any of its traditions and of course they dont give a hoot about Israel either. Well not in any positive way.

  • As a journalist, I don’t agree with what Heeb did in responding to the HHH. Far from it. It’s completely unethical, but it does go with the “up yours” attitude that I got from them when I met them.

    However, although HHH are awesome (and I saw them in concert, go Ladino pride!), they have no grounds to stand on. I agree with Mufti on this one. That was total PR work, and every journalist has a right to refuse what they don’t want to write about in PR work. I’ve been refused by Heeb too, but as being a writer. It doesn’t matter, it rolls off the back. Don’t take them too seriously… after all, it is Heeb.

  • Muffti has no bad feelings towards the hoodios (it’s not really his cup o’ tea, but whatever). Nor towards heeb. Just towards this lame ass cry baby shit.

  • Muffti – Heeb offended the Hoodios Latino fan base. Some of these Latinos are Doctors and Lawyers and respected businessmen. However some are out and out gang bangers. They don’t carry knives! In those circles knives are for pussies, or for ceremonial purposes. They carry high powered automatic weapons. Heeb should worry more about drive bys than desubscription drives. But in all seriousness, the Hoodios have every reason to be upset by the clubby non-inclusive atmosphere at Heeb, as well as their forced inauthentic irreverence that often lapses into outright offensiveness. I know how Heeb makes editorial decisions – they basically sit around and chat and pull things out of their asses. If they haven’t written about the Hoodios, it’s not likely that it’s because the Hoodios suck. It’s more likely because they are too lazy or too busy or too myopic. They have no problem promoting their friends and their secular / east-coast / New York centric view of what being cool and Jewish really is – and in that respect they definitely have it wrong.

  • Muffti wasn’t trying to defend Heeb on any front whatsoever. He just thought that the hoodios making a big deal about what was obviously intended as a joke (and which Muffti thought was kind of funny) was lame. And the way they are going about it lacks any and all of the creative mirth you expect from artists: its the way that people in the rest of the world complain when they are offended.

    And, for what it’s worth, if you are going to be a pretty good Muffti, you had best stop using that pesky first person 🙂

  • ngbpgm apologizes for offending gm. His lack of third person commentary is reflective of his non-grand status, obviously. ngbpgm is however confused with this notion advanced by gm, that artists need be these mirthful little elves. ngbpgm does not know much, but he does know that some of the most miserable people he has met have been artists and in fact, said misery has often fuelled their artistic pursuits and creativity. ngbpgm does none the less agree with gm and looks forward to a hoodios song and or video that properly skewers those uncouth individuals over at Heeb Magazine. The song will probably be in Spanish but, as CK has noted, said individuals at Heeb can have their parents’ housekeeper provide a translation. Rock on Consuela!

  • I also have to chime in that I don’t think the Hoodios were particularly hurt by Heeb not writing about them. They get plenty of PR love from Jewish, Latin, and general media alike. I see their videos on MTV-Espanol and writeups in mags like Blender and Paste. They don’t need Heeb. What likely pissed them off was the utter lack of disrespect they were shown by Heeb.

    How would you feel if you were a credible Jewish hip-hop act with a diverse fanbase, making music that is well-produced and groundbreaking, only to see weak acts like 50 Shekel and So-Called receiving all the coverage? It would justifiably make you wonder if Heeb had a thing against Latinos.

    This Latin Jew for one is firmly on the side of Hoodios on this matter….

    And let me also say: I LOVE ALL MY JEWISH PEEPS!! I don’t care if you’re a Jew from Swaziland, Poland, Israel, wherever. I’m not about divisiveness. But as a Latino Jew, I still have to stand up against disrespect like what I saw issued by Heeb in their response to Hip Hop Hoodios.

  • Why does everybody assume that the Heebsters are children of millionaires? Just because they’re ironic and self-consciously hip?

  • EV – who else can live in New York and spend considerable time toiling at a magazine for little or no pay? I smell “Trust Fund.”

  • I’ve heard that there are many people in NY who live in less than glamorous digs, and work long late hours at day jobs and night jobs to make ends meet so that we they can do the things we they truly love and believe in. And for most of us them, there’s nary a trust fund in sight.

  • I didn’t say everyone in New York is a trust fund baby! Just some of the people at Heeb, not that there’s anything wrong with that… but it’s kind of funny that the guardians of all that is hip and underground and alternative in Judaism probably grew up wearing Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger and listening and singing along to Cat Stevens and Simon and Garfunkle tunes at exclusive Summer Camps. I do not begrudge all those fine people in New York and elsewhere who toil at something they are passionate about for little or no pay (stealth-dating or no stealth-dating). Kudos to you! Oh, and just to stay on topic, the Hoodios are awesome.

  • Ngbpgm, you didn’t offend Muffti. Imitation is a form of flattery, he hopes. Anyhow, you’re right about the mirth: the HHH seem pretty happy though (Muffti watched their video and all.) His point was that you would think the HHH would have more creative ways of objecting to Heeb. One that was less whiny and obviously a cover for wanting to compalin about feeling dissed.

  • Personally, GM, I agree with you that they should have figured out another way to complain. Maybe the Hoodios should just go to the Heeb offices with their knives.

  • Tobias,

    Your stereotypes are as silly as saying that all Latinos carry knives. But I guess you’re joking too.

  • Yeah! Or, like do a video where they walk around with huge machettes hacking up Heeb magazine and associated paraphanelia. That’s what Muffti was talking about. rather than some bullshit whinging with threats to get your li’l fans to reneg their subscriptions. That’s what overgrown kids who get to have an audience do! Like, you know, (to use a horribly outdated example) when Lynyrd Skynyrd didn’t like Neil Young’s ‘Southern Man’, they immortalized their feelings in ‘Sweet Home Alabama’. They didn’t write a letter saying:

    Dear Mr. Young. With respect to your song ‘Southern Man’. The song paints a picture that was not fully representative of the people South of the Mason Dixon line. It was also very culturally insensitive. We bet if you went to Africa and saw a white guy being whipped, you wouldn’t write a song named ‘African Man’ would you?

    Please remove the lyric from future copies of the album. Otherwise, we will have a grass roots campaign to get southerners to stop buying your albums.

    Who the hell would respect that?

  • MOBIUS – You sound like one of those standard-issue indie hip-hop snobs. I have a feeling you’re one of those types who doesn’t “get it” when it comes to HHH’s music. Yes, the group’s name does have the word ‘hip hop’ in it. But they’ve never professed to being a straight-up rap act. These cats play their own instruments, and if you’ve seen them in concert, you’ll see that they are just as comfortable veering into funk, cumbia, and rock territory. If you’re analyzing Hip Hop Hoodios strictly from a indie hip-hop viewpoint, you’re WAY off mark. And from a cultural standpoint, what Hip Hop Hoodios is doing is fascinating – they have the love of the Latin alternative community. You’d think the Heebsters would take an interest in an act that has the genuine respect and admiration of other ethnic groups, rather than merely ripping them off like 50 Shekel or even Heeb itself.

    MUFFTI – I totally am in line with your comments that it would be cool if Los Hoodios could respond to Heeb with a clever video or song instead of a petition. However, calling them “pussies” for doing a petition is a bit misinformed. I’m pretty sure that the group is bicoastal (according to their website bio, some are based in LA and some in NYC), so getting into the recording studio or busting out a new video isn’t exactly a very practical alternative for them. Cut them some slack…..

  • Ummmn…no deal, Marco. But Muffti appreciates what you say. Those dudes are creative: Muffti is sure they could have done better than the pussy thing they did. Sorry. That’s just how Muffti feels. And using the ‘knives’ thing as the shallow excuse to complain about something else is the most pussy part of it all.

  • The only Jewish music worth listening to is:

    Traditional Morrocan Jewish songs, backed by ney and other ME instruments.

    Chassidic Niggunim…LIVE. Not that f’ing crap they put out on CD’s. Gyou go to a tish, and you space out. Bliss.

    Jane’s Addiction’s “Of Course”, with it’s shtetyl styled fiddle did a good job of staying away from shlock.

    But 99.9% of Jewish “pop/rock/hiphop” music is embarassing.

  • Well, at this point I would like to say that somebody may over-react to a misplaced comment, but that doesn’t mean that the individual isn’t offended.

    That was my first point, Muffti.

    My second point is about to follow.

    The use of the word “pussy” is starting to grate on me like kitty paws on a pane of glass. What are you, Geraldo Rivera throwing out his chest mano a mano and demanding a fight to protect your honor because somebody poked fun at the hirsute moustache? Heeb is a publication. They caused offense. Hoodios are asking, in writing, for the publication to publish an apology. Rather than wield knives, they are saying they’ll use their fan base to “punish” Heeb. Sounds reasonable to me, even if you don’t like it or feel they’re mistaken. But it’s the whole pussy thing that is gnawing at me like a bucktoothed rat enjoying a piece of moldy Havarti cheese. I mean, we do live in a civil society and this is how civil people behave. Like pussies. The ones who don’t…usually end up in prison.

    By the way, I have to admit I didn’t love the Hoodios EP, but after seeing them do their show I have to agree with Marco that they are talented musicians, but no less talented social commentators and what they’re doing, by straddling a couple of different cultures with their music, is fascinating.

  • Hey GM, don’t know if you’re still into the METAL. But two things…

    One is this:
    http://www.kqlz.org/
    All 80’s and early 90’s metal on iTunes. Wild

    Downloaded Sykes’ Blue Murder yesterday. What an incredible, wicked band. Too bad they went unnoticed.

  • Ok, Jews and Jims and Jennys. This here’s Abe Velez from the Hoodios and I’m’a tell you something right straight and you can read this to Myrtle, your junior prayer turtle:
    The point of our letter was not that we were gently crying ourselves to sleep each night (amongst our wonderful, soft blankets and pillows) for not being written about in Heeb mag. Trust me, we’ve got better things to do (like get ready for performing in NY’s upcoming Salute to Israel Parade! ok, requisite self-promotion moment, check.) The point was to illustrate the context of their racist jab, in an effort to show why we felt it was a racist jab and not just a goofy fun jab. I realize that when you’re a young fabulous hipster with access to a “Print” button and an almighty Cloak O’ Irony, it might just be well, too boring and prosaic to bother with stuff like NOT BEING A RACIST. But I invite Heeb to come dabble with the rest of us in the ho-hum yet curative waters of Lake Genuine Effort To Not Be A Racist.
    And to anybody who says we’re only allowed to fight fart with art, I say:
    Phones, koans, midnight moans
    Ain’t no limit to my lovely zones.
    Bust on Heeb via vid or a schtick?
    Bah, such an unneeded honorific.
    ‘Cause I ain’t innerested in “hip hop” beef
    ‘d rather puff peace with Yusef Lateef.

    I hug ALL of you!

    Hooray for all the groups!

  • Ummmn…that was well put! But it’s a little suspect given that the reason in the letter seemed to be entirely that Heeb hadn’t written about you. That and some rather spurious analogies invovling african americans. But whatever; y’all do what you think is right. You’re allowed to fight ‘fart’ as you see fit. And we’re entitled to tell you when we think yer being, sorry TM, pussies.

  • Uh, Muffti, be careful, I’ve seen this guy jump on a stage for 2 hours and he’s got a lot of energy to burn.

  • So I guess I’m in fine company since Heeb rejected a short story of mine, even if there were no racial insults in it. Guess I’ll have to try harder next time.

  • Anne, you’re not the only one. I sent in a story about pot-smoking Yeshiva students in LA clarifying the definition of a Jew. Never heard back from them. BTW, you guys know that “Hipster” has been said 14 times just on this one page? Think we need a new word? Any suggestions? I’m new here, also…so, yo, and shalom.

  • Ok, I’m not sure who I’m addressing, I think it’s CK, I read everything in a short time. If you think HHH suck, that is your perogative, and I respectfully disagree. HHH deserves to be written about in HEEB, if they (HEEB) are what they claim to be and write about all happening Jewish things. If you think HHH’s lyrics are trite and childish, that I’d really like to hear what you think of some of the other artists HEEB has covered. Everyone has mentioned 50 Shekel, but what about MC Paul Barman? Compared to him HHH look like Harvard graduates. HHH, I think were attempting to be chummy when they wrote in with a joke, they did not expect a racial smack in the face (ironiclly “hip” or otherwise). I have to admit, when HEEB first came out I thought it was a cool mag, but after reading a few issues, it seems to cater to affluent Upper East Side Jewish Youth and people like this Philly grl who live their lives outside of the mighty NYC (or in the diaspora as the HEEB writers call it), don’t feel like we fit the HEEB definition of “Jewish Hipster”. I will miss the photo layouts, they are quite creative, but I will not miss my subscription, buh bye HEEB! P.S. My Husband is J-Gro, the one who wrote the fan letter in HHH’s retort. I’m so proud I’m Kvelling!

  • Shannah – you go girl….Philly in da house!

    Just one small point – CK is probably one of the biggest HHH boosters around. I believe he actually hosts their website on a gratis basis. Mobius is the one who I believe you intended to address.

  • Incredible that this has fueled 49 comments so far. Thought I’d make it an even 50.

    Sorry guys, Heeb, no matter whether you think it’s the greatest badass Jew zine around or the worst piece of trash- your choice- is under no obligation to cover every act that sends them a demo CD. Especially when it’s yet another bunch of rapping Urban Semites.

    That said, the HHHs have a bit of talent, but honestly- what’s up with that flying sombrero? (I would’ve gone for a lavendar satin kippah from Brian Levinson’s Bar Mitzvah, but I didn’t get to produce the video). I’d have to agree that yes, Heeb coulda been a little sensitive and not printed their reply (which they no doubt thought was humorous). But if you start a conversation with Heeb magazine, don’t be surprised when you get a reply from…. Heeb magazine. Next time, if you want lovey-dovey, try Hadassah’s magazine.

  • What’s amazing is that if a Jewish weblog award took place today, Jewlicious would probably beat Jewschool in almost every category. Mobs gonna have to put more naked self-mutilating teens on his site to drive up traffic.

  • Was it “naked”…”teens” “mutliate” the combo….alas, the post is on someone’s server.

  • Uh oh, now “self-mutilating teens” is gonna show up on Google with Jewlicious on the first page. Thanks, shtreimel.

    And Conserva-Beeyatch, you should know we’ve only gotten this few comments because ck put pics of two dudes at the heading. Had he bothered to put up a pic of, say, an attractive Latina Jew carrying a knife, we’d be at 100 comments already.

  • I heard that Newsweek is going to run a story about Jews flushing copies of Heeb down the toilet in their next issue.

  • Reading the numerous posts above I can clearly see that The Hoodios are not the only ones who have been given the cold shoulder by Heeb. Jen Blyer and company need to take the silver spoons out of their asses and start treating their limited audience appropriately. They were clearly out of line with their racist rhetoric and will no longer have me as a subscriber unless they issue an apology. In a perfect world, the premiere isse of Jewlicious Magazine would launch next week and put the folks at Heeb out of business. If you haven’t already done so, sign the petition on the hoodios.com website and show the folks over at The New Jew Review that they are in the wrong.

  • Oy. Jen Bleyer is no longer associated with Heeb Magazine. Jewlicious Magazine would not put Heeb out of business because Heeb was never a business to begin with. Having said that, we appreciate the efforts the people at Heeb put into their magazine and racist rhetoric aside, they do more than most people – I mean when was the last time anyone of us gave of ourselves and of our time to put together a well intentioned publication for a thankless group like the Jewish people? If Jewlicious stuck its neck out like that and actually asked for money we’d be murderized – y’all would turn on us so fast it wouldn’t be funny. Don’t deny it – you know it’s true. So, having said that, we’re happy doing our little internet web thing, beholden to no one, with no schedules or budgets or clear editorial policies or human resources issues. It’s easy being us cuz we’re nobody. As soon as we get too big for our britches, wham – you’ll kill us. Oh well.

  • If the team here at Jewilicious put out a magazine I would be the first to subscribe!!!!!! You guys should be able to do what upper westside yuppy wankers,(see TObias posts for the oh so perfect descriptions) wanted to do. I think you guys here at Jewilicious are more in touch and funnier, even the Grand Muffti and his third person speaking ways!!!!!

  • While I thank DiGiTaL for his sentiments about our awesomeness, I do need to leap to the defense of my neighborhood. None (or nearly none) of the Heebsters are Upper West Siders. They hang, as did their forebears, in the pickle-scented air of the Lower East Side.

    I do remember reading that starting a print magazine takes only $200,000 in startup capital, which is less than the purchase price of a Manhattan studio apartment, so let’s set up a Paypal button and get this party started…

  • Esther, You know what I mean, regarding location, as a life long Brooklynite from workin class digs, the transplant trust fund yuppy are often made fun of by us, and aren’t considered real New Yorkers by some round my ways… Esther I would like you to know that you having nothing to fear, cause your down with us.. You can hold your head and high, and if anyone beefs with you, you tell them your down with DiGiTaL

  • When you have exposure like that an a relevantly shared audience with s/he that dissed you, you do it through your art and fight back proper. Videos mocking Heeb. Songs mocking heeb. Artists are supposed to be creative: so get them back creatively. Only pussies demand written appologies and organizes desubscription drives.

    Werd. Heeb rejected Shabot 6000. Check out how Ben responded.

  • also, marco — i’m pretty sure i’ve known about the hoodios longer than you, unless you’re one of them or friends with them. i’ve seen ’em perform, i’ve been giving them free press on jewschool for several years including publishing all of their concert dates, and i’m going to reiterate: i think their production quality is tight; ie., i think they are quality musicians. i think they’re very nice guys too and i have nothing against them. the plain fact of the matter is i think their lyrics are whack and their MC voices are weak, thus rendering them unlistenable.

  • Mobius, I think you have musical taste up your ass that’s completely off base. Having said that, I’m willing to change my opinion if you admit to liking both Arik Einstein and Idan Reichel.

  • again with the Arik Einstein thing? sheesh. i totally hate that guy. Even the sight of his name makes me cringe. Talk about a dude with a weak MC voice …

  • Hmmm, you know, rapping is one style of music good ol’ Arik has never tried.

    Ck, open your mind and give him another listen…Nos’im bamechonit hayeshana el toch halaila haratuv…

  • Seriously, TM, what’s up with this Arik Einstein bullshit? You his press agent or something?

  • Heh. No wonder you’re such a pussy.

    Just kidding, TM. But before you go on yelling at Mobius for his tastes, a little self criticism might be in order 🙂

  • 😆 Dude, Arike Einstein rocks.

    And by the way, most hip hop and rap stinks. Some is interesting and some is even good music, but for the most part, it stinks. And the Hoodios at least add a level of intelligence and wit to their music.

    On a more somber and serious note, Idan Reichel rocks.

  • C-B, a mi me encanta el foto de la knife-juggling mama. Lovely and strong image. But I don’t wanna hear any more talk of “weak” MC approach ’til you listen to Elis Regina and Tom Jobim do “Aguas de Marco.”

    Or think of baby Godzilla’s birthday party guests when he turned 2, and what they would have tooted on their kazoos.

    Or think of Golda Meir, hearing a mambo for the first time.

    Or think of Michael Howard, long before he thought Tories were so cool, in a rapture with spectacular orations about water and British fish.

    THEN tell me that Jim, Jenny or whomever has a weak MC style.

  • Querido Abe,

    Really, I’m blushing…

    I didn’t accuse you of having a weak MC approach, though. I’m kinda old school, though. I prefer the Afro-Semitic Experience to the Jew-Rap thing.

    But I do love the imagery of Golda Meir hearing a mambo for the first time. Thanks!

  • a) i’m not going to comment on arik einstein cuz i haven’t listened to him more than once
    b) i listened to idan reichel’s new cd yesterday and i was unimpressed; which is not to say he’s a bad musician. i felt an air of pink floyd there, and floyd’s one of my favorite bands. but… i wasn’t staggeringly jaw-dropped like whoa, this guy rocks my face.
    c) hoodios? intelligence & wit? “dicks and noses”? “kike on the mic”? are we listening to the same band?! you want intelligence and wit from a hip hop crew, check out del tha funky homosapien; ghostface killah; mf doom… what you know about hip hop could likely fill a thimble.
    d) as per having “musical taste up your ass that’s completely off base” — welp, that’s why i’m the one with the fm radio show in israel, and you’re the one talking about why the hoodios are good in the corner of some canadian mormon’s website.

  • Moby! I mean, yeah I’m Canadian but the rest of the crew is in the US and Israel and we get, you know, quite a few hits and stuff – we’re up to an average of 12,000 visitors a day now. I’m told that’s a lot. As far as musical taste being a function of FM Radio gigs, I used to have a daytime radio gig in Toronto, a large Canuckian city with a population larger than 2 Israels and I still really like the Hoodios. Having worked in radio, I also know that working in radio is absolutely NO guarantee of musical taste.

    But whatever, I’m just a dumb mormon …

    😉

  • Mobius – why do you continue to evaluate Hoodios’ music solely through the hip hop context? For the umpteenth time, YES, they do incorporate a lot of hip-hop elements, but they are also very much a Latin act that mixes up rock, funk, cumbia, etc. Comparing them with acts like Del Tha Homosapien is way off the mark. If you had any familiarity with Latin-alternative acts like El Gran Silencio or Los Fabulosos Cadillacs, you would likely have a greater appreciation for HHH. These guys are not trying to be the next Subliminal, Eminem, Wu Tang, etc. From what you’ve written, I gather you’re approaching this solely from a “hip-hop” point of view. Get over the name of the band and LISTEN to their music.

    And while some of the Hoodios songs can be silly a la Dicks & Noses, their lyrics on tracks like “Agua Pa’ La Gente” and “1492” are quite articulate and clever. And c’mon, this line is my fave of the year:

    “Yo Dre, I hate to annoy ya
    You ain’t no doctor but I’m a lawyer
    And I’ll destroy ya
    Cuz your 50 Cent piece is fiction like Tom Sawyer”

    I get the sense you take life a little too seriously, sir.

  • Mobius, seriously now, if you were “unimpressed” by Idan Reichel’s new cd, and if you remain that way after a second or third listen, rest assured that you and I will never agree on music. That Pink Floys comment is so off base that I don’t even know where to begin.

    Oh, and do relax about having a “radio show” because it would have to be a good radio show to impress me. Besides, don’t radio people tend to be the geeky/ugly ones who can’t make it in visual media. 😉

  • WHo cares what Mob likes, he can only like what is deemed underground cool, or hip to like, Ghostface is good though, caught him in the city a few months ago……

  • dave: can i see your stats? i want to compare ’em to jewschool’s. (not that you don’t know what kind of traffic we get considering your ads on our site. speaking of which, where did the israel experts banner go?)

    marco: i listen to afro-beat, baile funk, bossa nova, world fusion and quite a variety of other forms of latin and world music. allow me to reiterate: i think the hoodios are decent musicians with a high production quality. i think their lyrics are stupid. go buy madvillain.

    t_m: i felt a lot of the aspects of the production on reichel’s album were characteristically floyidan, so to speak. i was unimpressed tho because i’ve heard these sonic landscapes before and hearing them with bad hebrew singers isn’t all that intriguing for me.

    and i’ll let that last comment slide.

  • Bad Israeli singers.

    You mean, Shoshana Damari is a bad Israeli singer?

    It’s music so we’re not going to agree, but there was nothing Floydian about the album and sonic landscapes is absolutely not the appropriate description for any of the songs on there. He ain’t Pat Metheney.

    And I’m glad you let that last comment slide because otherwise you’d look like an oversensitive ugly person getting all defensive. 😉

  • As a patriotic service, you of course do Jewish weddings for free, (except for food and tips).

  • Heeb, in my honest opinion, is the most elitest smut I’ve ever come across. They sure do know how to perpetuate jewish stereotypes…while at the same time, complaining about the jewish stereotypes that they are perpetuating! Utterly hypocritical and revolting. This literary malarky is breeding an equally as elitest jewish generation. How about you guys and gals at Heeb stop pourring funds into this lewdness and put that money towards…say…feeding homeless men, women and children right around the publication headquarter’s street corner? Stop talking about how cool being jewish is, Heeb, (because it’s embarassing the greater jewish society) and start volunteering your time and money towards something worth while.

  • Any update on the “Los Hoodios vs. Heeb Magazine” saga?

    BTW, I followed the Hoodios’ website like to buy a “Bodega” T-shirt for my cousin, and found out not only that there wasn’t any left on the Shoytz website but that Shoytz is going out of biz…

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