Nice Jewish Girl (“34 and never been kissed”) has posted an update on her blog. She’s still single, and still struggling. One of the people who commented on her blog had tried to reassure her by saying “you’ll be engaged by Shavuos.” Clearly, she’s not. And that person, who I believe really meant to comfort her, has instead provided her with a catchphrase for her disappointment.

Plus, now she’s feeling a strong urge to have a baby. She writes:

I do not feel financially or emotionally able to raise a child by myself right now and also I do not intellectually feel comfortable with the idea of bringing a child into the world without a father, when there are so many babies available for adoption who have no parent at all. But it is interesting that the physical instinct to be a mother is so strong. And it is very hard to overcome one’s physical instincts. It seems that so much of my life is about that. Which leads me back to the question, by lifting myself above my physical instincts, am I being holy, or am I being stupid?

I’m still so saddened by her dilemma: a strong faith that necessitates her abstention from all physical contact with the opposite sex and puts great pressure on her to “find her bashert already,” combined with an intense yearning to find a partner to connect with emotionally and physically, and to begin to create a Jewish home with him.

Shomer negiah or not, Jewish singles in their thirties know how she feels.

About the author

Esther Kustanowitz

For more posts by Esther, see, and


  • Puhleeze…I read NJG’s blog a while back…and it SEEMED to me (Jsirpicco could be wrong, but probably not) that her main problem, and I hate to put it this way, ESTHER, cuz I know you get all upset – is that SHE’S HEAVY. So instead of seeing that this is the minor hishtadlus a person has to do – lose some weight, get in shape, pretty herself up a bit – NOPE, instead, LET’S BLAME GOD, LET’S BLAME GUYS AND let’s go have a baby without a husband…YEAH, THAT SURE BEATS NOT WORKING OUT AND TAKING OF THE WEIGHT AND GETTING A FREAKING MAKEOVER!!!! And I know, yes, I know, that you’ll all start cursing me and telling me how UNSENSITIVE I am (on a blog?????) but it’s the truth. IT’S THE DEEPEST TRUTH ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH>>..and also…WHAT DID HAPPEN TO SHTREIMEL…I’M GONNA MISS HIM CHIMING in, telling me to be quite, telling me how I don’t know about all the anorexic girls, blah blah blah…but you know what NJG aint anorexic…

  • jsirpicco, you forgot to mention implants or liposuction.

    Wow. I think NJG is a Catholic in disguise. Anyway, at 34, there’s all the time in the world.

  • Sirpicco, that is why we are sympathetic, bec. she does not have the ability currently to see the roses, and then smell them.

  • Esther is making a true statement:

    “Shomer negiah or not, Jewish singles in their
    thirties know how she feels”

    NJG is asking a question that expresses her

    “am I being holy, or am I being stupid?”

    I would say that NJG is being stupid or Naive if I
    didn’t outwardly value such holiness. I don’t know of any rewards for such holiness except holiness itself. Likewise, sometimes the only reward for a mitsvah is another mitsvah or the mitsvah itself. If you don’t value being holy or doing mitsvahs, I can see “how” you can label being holy as being “naive” or “stupid.”

  • If the root of kadosh translates as “separate or apart,” then that can breed naivete and isolation, especially if a person feels that there’s no one to discuss difficulties with.

    I see life’s roses. I buy them myself, for myself, and savor their fragrance. But they never smell as lovely as when someone else buys them for you.

  • That is certainly true again. I would also like to add that if you don’t see, smell and taste the beauty of “kadosh,” “seperateness,” “Holiness,” and true if you don’t get a sense of harmonic apprecitiation of such concepts then I can see the challenge clearly. Then there are those that have the strength to deal with opposition. A vast spectrum of view on this exists. You can be all holy etc… to yourself and just take care of numero uno. Then there are amongst us with special gift. A gifted one is rare indeed who can take risks to help others and influence others to gain this appreciation.

  • How much comparison and contrast is needed to prefer the smell of Holiness to that which lacks that flavor?

  • Having a baby without a having a relationship with (or knowing) the father is one thing, but adopting a puppy while planning to travel for an extended period is JUST WRONG!

  • Chutspah, its been awhile. That last pee report recieved accolades. Yeah, I did some tenent refurbishment; where I went into an appartment unit and prepared it for the next tenent. The previous chumps who “occupied” that unit left a kitten there for weeks. The unit was trashed shebe trashed. Besides all the kitty crap everywhere, there was used rubbers strewn around, peraphanalia, JD bottles and holes in the rug, walls and cielings, bookcases. The county sherrif people who broke into the unit for the owner took of the cat I guess. Guess what I also saw in the middle of floor in one of the rooms? A cheap bar mitsvah hand out Yamulka sitting there, a bunch of boy scout books and a plaque that said the guy was an eagle scout or something.

  • Its really very simple… Like Jsirpicco said, She could be heavy and/or in need of a makeover and want a guy way out of her league, or two she has some sort of crazy fantasy about what her ideal mate is.. A Tzitzis wearing combination between Brad Pitt and Dr. Phil or something that makes over a million a year… Now since I am a lil younger and in NY, she ain’t gonna find it. All you broads always over complicate things or think you know what you want. She should hit the stairmaaster and re assess what she wants from a relationship

  • Actually, I am a single woman in her thirties and I don’t know how that feels. Yes I wish to a husband one day, but I am in no hurry and indeed feel no real drive. It would be nice, but it’s not something I am all consumed with. Also, I am one of the seemingly few woman who doesn’t want to have children. I don’t think I was born with that proverbial biological clock! lol

    It could be argued that my situation since I am not terribly observant but I am still a single Jewish girl who hopes to find a nice Jewish boy one day…

  • Weight is never, never, ever an issue. FASHION is a huge issue. A chic woman gets looks, attention, love and respect. This takes money, committment, intelligence, positive-mindedness, self-respect and endless discipline. Yet, it is FUN! In time it becomes second nature and stops being hard. There are ways to get it all done cheaper, once you know how it works. It is a big subject and takes time to master! But ANY woman can wear the right clothes, the right make-up, the right hair. Men are TOTALLY tuned in to the minutest nuances of this stuff. That is one of life’s mysteries, but they are. They know the language, they know the codes, and they don’t forgive the smallest fashion mistake. The good news is, it works. Very few people are really impossible to make attractive. If you have a big fat body, put good quality, well draped clothes on it, and don’t fret. Plenty of men have tummies, too. This is absolutely no big deal! Don’t spend money on a Stairmaster. Spend the same money on jewelry and force yourself to wear it all the time. The Casual Revolution has destroyed romance, dignity, charm, beauty and happiness. Fight back! NO CASUAL CLOTHES EVER to paraphrase Joan Crawford. Why? Because you look terrible in them, how’s that? OK, you can wear flowing robes and sandals on your day off. But very carefully chosen, with a nice pedicure – which you can do yourself. Sorry, men. I just had to say it.

  • JM, I’m afraid weight is an issue. We have all been conditioned by the same media.

  • I would go along with themiddle on this one. If some women were to pick up on what jspirico and Digital are emphasizing, the poor ladies may just give up and seek alteratives, whatever those may be. I had a brother who kept his jewish girlfriend for over 15 years. Because they know they could never please these guys. He was choking N’ Chinik about her weight for just all that time. But they went out and even lived with each other for 6 or so of those years. She just put up with that. It didn’t stop my bro from getting some from a few shiksas durring that time as well. That poor girl wasn’t really all that fat either. It is hard to generalize and get into heads as to why they do things. I just don’t, unless something really bothers me.

  • Let me clarify. There are certainly plenty of guys who will not look at a fat girl, no matter what else she may have. But: the fat guys will, and there are plenty of them. Even if he is not quite as fat as she is. He will make allowances – IF she is adorably turned out. Do you think a guy who likes beer, popcorn and ice cream wants to hear about his sins from a trim, health-conscious woman? UGGH! The fashion bullet will get the fat girl where she wants to go. If, with great trouble and pain, she takes off thirty pounds, she will certainly look and feel better, but she will still be somewhat chunky. She will never be really scrawny if that is not her build. If there is no fashion sense, she will still be just another, less rotund, but still casual, boring woman, who now has yet another sad story to tell about her diet miseries. Why even bother? Spend the money on clothes and jewelry. Espcially on hair and make-up, because, with a fatty, the FACE and HEAD are more interesting than the body, although the clothes must drape well. Fatties have a reputation for sulking and complaining. A fat girl who obviously takes very careful care of herself will give the impression of being happy, and not a complainer. In fact NO WOMEN, fat or not, should go around casual! Casual is a dagger aimed at the heart of love and marriage. You be the one in the big-brimmed hat! The skirt. The glittery necklace! Good quality costume jewelry is OK. I seriously recommend cosmetic dentistry – damn the cost. And perfume. A scarf and (low, but kitten) heels. Black is the new black. Control panty hose. WHAT AM I SAYING? There are men here. Sorry.

    Really, if the guys see another woman in pants and a floppy tee shirt or sweats, they will kill themselves en masse, and who could blame them. And where will we be then?

  • I didn’t put sentences in the order I wanted. I should go like this:

    If some women were to pick up on what jspirico and Digital are emphasizing, the poor ladies may just give up and seek alteratives, whatever those may be. Because they know they could never please these guys

  • Actually both of you are correct. NJG should get a trainer, and should study the fashion issue w/ JM.

    She should also book time w/ She runs workshops that would be helpful, right in the Big Apple.

    I think Chutzpah has taken some workshops there, perhaps she can comment on this working well or not.

  • Netsy, very sorry, but your brother needed a sound thrashing and a boot downstairs, no offense. He was just an abusive man, that is all. Real simple. I mean, if you are hostile and want to pick on somebody, you will find something “wrong” with them. Jewish self-hatred, probably, along with other stuff.

    However, I hope he straightened out and got very happy and had many Jewish children.

    Jewish women are rarely bony. You do not cut yourself on them. That’s our race. That is how they are made. It has nothing to do with being fat.

    Is it the fertility implications that make fat a turn-off? Attention: skinny women get pregnant, too.

  • I would like to emphasize that the problems goes even deeper; not just TV and popular movie imagery and culture, but animation and porn. Alot of guys have cartoons in thier heads. They never will find they want. I have heard so many guys kvetch that thier wives, girlfriends, toys etc.. wont do what they want in whatever position etc… I wouldn’t underestimate how much of that goes into some of these guys thinking. It may be physically imposible for those poor ladies to even come close to complying with these delusions.

  • Well yes, but then you have some of these things do happen. I know as I lived in my pre-married days, in a very blue collar rooming house.

    But you are correct, this is why many men visit Prostitutes as well, married and singel men btw.

  • Yeah, JM, I sometimes think like that. My bro
    needs a lesson. But then I realize it is not so
    simple. Likewise, I think you are underestimating
    the depth of the problems. In a lot of ways, my brother was always the “good boy.” His grades in
    school were excellent. We both went to the same
    big public schools. He even took advanced
    placement classes. His SAT was something really
    close to 1300. On the other hand he was also a
    major party guy in High School, always had his pot
    smoking and drinking party friends. In High
    School I was as straight as an arrow. I was a Sea
    Cadet and wanted to join the Navy. I kept my hair
    short. All my friends were clean cut. Yet my grades was not that good. I didn’t even graduate on time. I went to a Junior College to make up for all the classes I failed in HS to eventually get my diploma. I failed algebra 1 five times. My SAT score was something like 900. That bro is 2 years younger. My bro got into UC Berkeley where he met his jewish girlfriend. He graduated with a degree in Rhetoric. In Berkeley He lived in a Vege co-op and was a devout nudist as most were in that place. And all the time he was with his jewish girlfriend he chok N’ chinik about her weight. Yet, like I said, she wasn’t that much if even overweight as far as I could have seen.

  • I like my idea of an annual Marry Your Girlfriend Day.

    There should be newspaper ads a month in advance: there are 17 days to MYGD, 16 days, 15 days…. free weddings available in all the synagogues! just show up! All night! Leave a message after the beep. We’ll be there, with Rabbi, minyan, ketubah, wine, flowers, food, veil, and New Jewish Home Package which includes books, a mezuzah, candlesticks, and two years’ free synagogue membership!

    Bring your marriage license and medical test papers and our rabbi will FIX YOU UP. Photos too (digital – so you can email them to your family and friends).

    Streimels optional!

  • Jewish mother you couldn’t be further from the mark, get more JEwelry?? Yeesh… See my post sums it all up. I didn’t say there was anything wrong with being fat necessarily, but I was trying to make the point that maybe she isn’t going for the guys who maybe chunky or not as good looking either…

  • Jobber/Mike Berman/EeshAish/Needsajobbadly/SuppressedOrthodoxMale- I don’t need Moxie to show me how to give a damn good blowjob and if you ever even mention my name again on any any blog anyplace I will mail printouts of all the garbage you have written to your boss, rabbi and wife. I mean it. I know you work in brooklyn and I know where you live. Now fuck off and don’t fuck with me again.
    How’s that for Chutzpah?!

  • Jewish Mother,
    Have you been wearing your $5000.00 custom sheitel to bed, because it seems to be cutting off the oxygen to your brain. This is not the 1950’s. Men like thin women in athletic clothing…sneakers, jeans and a tee shirt and looking like you could catch a ball or go rock climbing at any minute is the look NYC men want. Overdone hair, overdone jewelery, overdone makeup and perfume makes a girl look like Yenta straight out of Brooklyn rather than the simple upper east sider with short nails and a pony tail that any man with a good job and education would prefer. You are making me “faklempt”. I bet you look like Mike Meyers doing his “like Butta” skit on SNL.

  • Actually, Chutspah sounds more on target then JM.
    She is talking real time experience.

  • I suggest that NJG attend these workshops that Moxie runs. I believe that Moxie has some very wise and good advice to offer on relationships, which would be helpful to NJG.

    Why is Chutzpah so incredibly hostile?

    Is this a form of self- hatred, self Anti-semitism?

    You know, when we are walking home from Shule, every couple of weeks, we are called vile, filthy, curses by passers in cars. This reminds me of them.

  • “Now fuck off and don’t fuck with me again. How’s that for Chutzpah?!”

    Not Chutzpah, that is a low-life cheap imitation of some gangsta chick, or a typical New Yorker bitch w/ ‘attitude’. Fairly repulsive actually.

    If they are going to allow ad hominem attacks, and swearing on this board, let’s party then.

  • Jeebus, kids. FWIW, most of the bigger guys I know still think they “deserve” a hot/skinny twig/woman. They’re all modelizers.

    This discussion is depressing the hell out of me. Maybe it will depress me sufficiently so that I’ll stop eating, lose 50 lbs and then be able to spend all my grocery money on kitten heels, jewelry and plastic surgery. Then, and only then, once I’ve completely morphed on the outside, will a man be able to appreciate me for what I already am inside. And all I have to do is trap him until the next “Marry Your Girlfriend” Day.

    This is me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

  • This blog is very long and agonizingly slow.
    There is intensity though. We cant just sit around somewhere and fight it out. I guess thats how this system works. Maybe thats good. I am now at the point where I spend more time venting my issues here on jewlicious then I did at frumster. However, I am begining to doubt that I am doing any good here for myself or anybody else.

  • I don’t get the thinking of blogging about the dating situation you’re in, when you are using your real and true identity. Is this supposed to be attractive to someone, who will wonder, is she going to pick me apart on her blog, on Jewlicious, in her column?

    In the end, I still say, personal growth is your best bet.

    You can diet or not, exercise or not, but it must be augmented w/ growing as a person. It has to be more than your work, your reading, your activities.

  • I am also not sure what sense it makes to blog endlessly about dates that didn’t/don’t work out. What is gained by doing this?

    Perhaps there is a problem w/ the internet dating scene, whereby one has so many possibilities that they develope a harsh exterior and interior and one word that they might mis-interpret and the person is now worthless, and you are already thinking of the emails w/ new prospects?

  • Jobber, I can only assume that, based on your comments here and on JDaters Anonymous, “blogging about dating in her column” comment was directed at me. So my brief response is that I don’t blog about the boys I go out with. Any personal posts are either a)long-delayed, or b)so obscure that no one will really know who I’m talking about. And still, writing about one’s own heartbreak or disappointing isn’t the same thing as trashing an individual person, which I would never do.

    As far as blogging about dates that don’t work out, people do it so they don’t feel like they’re alone. That’s the point behind JDaters Anonymous, at least–so we can all support each other by sharing our experiences.

  • OK I enjoy your blogs and hope you continue to allow me access not cutting me off w/ that Haloscan.
    I just feel that what you are doing, isn’t working. but it is not an attack on you, as you stated in one post.
    I am coming from a unique point of view. It is my desire to see you and everyone else that is yearning for something or someone to attain this goal.

  • I meant, choose one or two things from that long list, not the whole list. Of course, done right.

    I adored the puppy remark!

    We are being entirely too nice. If the men want a brother for a game of catch, they can have one. We are not their brothers. Women are not in a powerful position now so they ingratiate the men and down-play their different-ness and imply they won’t make many demands. Then they wonder why they get treated off-handed.

    But I am not talking about impersonating Auntie Mame or Divine. Short pale nails.

    The lady thing with class implies: childhood is over. It is, too.

    It is TOO possible to be physically comfortable in dressier clothes. It takes some thought, but it can be done.

    Clothes let peope know what you think of yourself and what you expect from them. This is a very complex study, very interesting, like learning a language. It pays off. We all want to be beautiful, women and men. We can be.

    Burn your sweats!

  • I can only speak for myself. I have found that
    going into somebody’s head is not really possible. There is always some point where you will never know where or what is going on. What I am learning is that the blog shtick has some features that most shadchan or dating sites just don’t have. I can talk extensively about frumster or old jdate, like before Y2k. Frumster has a big list of mechanisms to prevent open communication. That may be good or bad, but it is so. That is in addition to the etiquette that is almost enforced there. Frumster, at least for me, is more of a source of problems then a way of dealing with them. Of course, as far as I am concerned due to much trial and much error, there is no easy way out of dealing with dating, mating, relationships, marriage, sex. I got to vent. The only question is really is “how” to deal with this heartache, but ache, head ache, trauma, fights, bitching, kvetching, wrangling, sickness, pain and even death involved in all that. No one can tell me, “oh, just wait till shavuos” or something out of this planet like that. I don’t even care if “Hashem Yisborach” himself were in some Bat Kol were to say some shit like that, what good would it do? It
    doesn’t mean anything.

  • JM,as much or more of East Coast Yenta shtick Chutspah spews then you, I would have to agree more with her view on fashion and reading into what the opposite sex wants. As obnoxious as Chutspah is or at least tries to be, she is more on the money. I am almost getting the feeling, JM, that you are fixating on a way of behaving that is not going to impress anybody here.

  • There may be a race thing operating here.

    I don’t think the athletic look originated with Jewish women. We do not resemble the blond tennis-star women who popularized this look.

    Their frames are designed with different proportions and different embellishments.

    ALL human types are beautiful, but we have to appreciate ours and understand it. It lends itself to a more formal kind of clothes. And that is irrespective of how toned or lean we may be.

    There is nothing wrong with looking “Jewish” or even a little exotic, because that is the truth about us.

    To each his own. What did Teddy Roosevelt say?

    Our men should adjust their ideas to what we are.

  • JM, with all due respect, a lot of what you are saying I think has a point, but it won’t be well taken with this crowd. Now I don’t know what you are saying, sorry.

  • Post 13 from Digital is good, IMHO.

    What is the equivalent on other side of the aisle?

  • JM: “Their frames are designed with different proportions.” Didn’t the Nazi’s make the same sweeping generalizations? I know cream of the crop Orthodox executives with 6- 9 children and I assure you, their wives are stick thin.

    Jobber/HelpMoxie: why don’t you stop blogging about how you are such a loser at work and go find a job instead of criticizing women who blog about dating to be funny and for FUN & support.

    As for your statement that Moxie gives sound advice, yes she does. So what pathology led you to put up a HelpMoxie blog if you are in sudden agreement with her. You talk out of both sides of your ass.

    I am not a self-hating Jew, I am very proud of my Jewish Heritage and culture. I just find YOU specifically and in particular, VERY revolting.

    Now this is the last I will ever address you, because you seem to thrive on my responses. If you don’t like “gangsta chick”, maybe you’ll prefer this :

    “gey trensik”!

  • This kind of men can’t jump.
    That kind of men can’t swim.
    Another kind of men can’t drive.

    A woman in sweats votes on the left.
    A woman in kitten heels votes on the right.

    A woman in kitten heels may marry but is cruel and insensitive to the earth and expects much more and may not go along with the program.

    A woman in sweats is very nice, is sensitive to social issues and the earth, will go along with the program, may very well never marry.

    The above is all nonsense, of course. Plenty of people can jump and drive and marry. But stereotypes can get you in big trouble. I wouldn’t want any of us to get paint thrown on us or yelled at in the street. Even though one quarter of the Jews voted for Bush, that is the quietest quarter. Outnumbered three to one, they had better not wear any kitten heels. And, if they voted for Kerry, how are people supposed to know that they did, and are nice people, if they wear persist in wearing kitten heels?

    Hup two three four. Hup two three four. Stay in line and face front. No kitten heels, private! What do you think you are, free to be yourself?

  • OK, the cream of the crop Orthodox executives select out the skinny Jewish women. But there are not terribly many skinny Jewish women, just some. The rest need love, too.

    Maybe they have internalized an assimilationist beauty ideal. You didn’t say chassidic.

    Sure, different ethnic groups have physical types, speaking only in general. That is not Nazi, it is just true. I don’t mean anything critical by that. Every group has its beauties and its uglies, within the type. We have to look this in the eye. Judaism is not only a cultural heritage. We can rejoice in our physical types as well as in our mental stuff.

  • I am not from the East Coast; I am not even Ashkanazi. My Mother is, but she isn’t from the east coast either. I have only lived in the East side of the country for a few years in Yeshiva in Jersey, so I have no idea what you all are talking about. I went into NYC often, but I didn’t learn of all this stuff that you all seem to be talking about. I can only watch this catfight; hopefully from afar… Like another part of this world.

  • Chutzpah, a whole bunch of nasty stuff that The Middle has just edited because Jewlicious is the wrong place for this crap.

  • Hey Jobber, how about you cut it out with Chutzpah? I’m getting tired of the direction your interaction has taken and is not going to be your platform for this bullshit.

    Chutzpah, I ask that you stick to your promise to ignore this guy. If you interact on other blogs, that’s your business, but this fight is very unpleasant and has nothing to do with what Jewlicious is about.

  • May I direct you to Chutzpah’s ad hominem attack on me last night – using the ‘F’ word at me. Is there a reason why you did not bring this up w/ Chutzpah, as she continued to attack me today?
    Is this a double standard of some kind, or were you taking in by her open bedroom BJ remarks today, Middle?

  • Wow, so much for my gentile stereotype that Jews are always polite! (Just kidding, people.) Hey, chutzpah, I’m with you. Nothing wrong with a little well-timed profanity. (Though how did the Nazis end up here? Not them again!)

    Esther, you shouldn’t be depressed (#38), because voila: the Last Word on this subject. (Drum roll, please.)

    All you can do is take care of yourself.

    If that means getting thee to a therapist, do that. If it means changing jobs to become happier, do that.

    And if it means making yourself more attractive to the opposite sex, do that. Yes, that may mean dropping weight. Though it’s not really weight, or dieting that’s the issue, but wellness– looking like you spend time in G-d’s sunshine occasionally, or could run to catch a bus without gasping for breath. Men perceive this instantly. And good health means much more to attractiveness than whether one weighs 127 or 139 pounds. We are NOT looking for Paris Hilton (or the Jewish equivalent thereof). Anorexia is NOT sexy and NOT the ideal. So take that Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue and toss it.

    Having said that (warning: nuance alert)– if in one’s heart one knows one needs to be thinner, than drop the weight. Too much is too much, and women who are heavy are generally not attractive to men. (Though heavy women have their constituency.)

    And I’m not talking about women with wide hips or broad shoulders. It’s not a matter of somehow altering your genetics. Just of making the most of what you have.

    NJG should make an honest self-assessment, deal with her own issues as she sees them– instead of fretting about her immediate prospects– then, try, oh try to take a zen approach to men– and everything will be OK.

    As my mom used to say, a lid for every pot.
    You take care of yourself, the good stuff follows.

    By way of footnote: this applies to guys, too. If some dude’s still carrying the belly he acquired in the Clinton administration, or ig he’s still got That 70s Hair, and you’re his chick– kick his ass.

  • Tom, your mother said “a lid for every pot?” You sure you’re not Jewish? Perhaps some Marranos in your background?

  • Hmm. I’m gonna check, Middleman. After all, why do I spend so much time on this site?….

  • Thats a very chasidishe suit there. themiddle is an ultra frummie obviously.

  • Wow! Everyone here really seems to want to mix it up.

    But, lulei demistafina, I’m not sure all y’all have read NJG’s blog before commenting/criticizing here. (It’s interesting to note that there are more than twice the number of comments here than on her site.)

    One thing that NJG mentioned was that her weight was a direct result of a health issue and that she was working on it. So let’s cut her a little slack in that area.

    And what’s with chutzpah naming names? I didn’t see HER name anywhere, and I looked!

  • ClooJew, I think it’s okay to “mix it up” in a debate from a debating point of view. I am, however, adamantly opposed to personal attacks, especially of the type we’ve seen (and a couple you haven’t seen, fortunately) in this discussion. When ck and Laya are back in circulation, I think the posters on Jewlicious will need to come up with a policy about this.

    As for naming names, I believe Chutzpah only named online monikers that Jobber has used. If I’m wrong, I’ll edit out the name if he asks.

  • Sigh. All Jews are responsible for one another. Jewlicious should be a dugma, an example, while encouraging respectful dissent–hopefully, someday we will all treat each other to mutual respect (and hopefully, ice cream).

  • Why do I even bother? Maybe I should just go back to my own blogs…try to change the world, one Urban Kvetch at a time…

  • dear themiddle,

    Do you think NJG knows what she is doing be being SN?

  • I only used monikers that Jobber has used for himself in the past, he has a new one every hour. The monikers I use on my own blog are made up to represent the person the story is based on. Sorry for the personal attack on Jobber, if you knew what he has filled my email box with you’d understand. However, I promise to behave and ignore him in the future. Thanks folks.

  • Again, Middle, you let her attack me, now the 4th time, but you don’t remove her posts, no, you remove mine. Read this thread Middle, she attacked me specifically, using profanity which you still leave up, the F word, as in Fuck off, she posted at me.

    It is obvious, Middle, that you are hoping for some crack. Well good luck to you on that score, Middle. I wouldn’t be so bold.

  • Middleman, very late on the draw, sorry- but the penguins are totally cool. I could stare at that one guy clocking the other guy all day.

    I think I need help.

  • JM, you name it. No reasonable offers refused.

    There is something odd, don’t you think, about staring at your computer screen watching a penguin hit another over the head, over and over… And enjoying it?

  • Tom, not to worry, I had the same thing happen to me the first couple of times I saw that short clip.

    Or maybe I also need help?

  • Yeah, themiddle,

    I am going over all that was said there. Also, I read up the original blog by NJG herself. Thats a lot material. In fact I would say that is at least as much of an exhaustive treatment of the subject as a statement by the Muffti himself!

  • I think we should all save ourselves for guys that refer to sex as “some crack”. They are so deserving of our self-restraint I think I’ll become a born-again virgin.

    Ok, I’m really outta here this time, bye-bye boys.

    P.S. Sooo loved the penquin clip!

  • Is she referring to me again? I thought she said she was going to ignore me about 5 times?
    Gotta love the double standards.

  • keep on chasing middle, you might get lucky. Most folks are. Yes should have said good crack, like the original Irish.

  • There was a request to translate my Yiddish. It saddens me that people don’t even know the most important catch-phrases. My parents don’t know any Yiddish, and my grandparents didn’t speak it around us, but I made sure teach myself some.

    I believe “Gei Tren Zich” translates as “go fuck yourself”.

    Maybe we should start a yiddish tutorial chat-room or blog before the beautiful language is lost forever. Talk about assimilation. If we can’t even curse at each other in our own language anymore, how can we expect to communicate at all? Anybody else know any colorful expressions? Shtriemel, Jewish Mother help me out here…


  • It is an Irish phrase, an Anti-Drug sentiment. The Irish are more pro-beer and whiskey obviously. They say, ‘Have good crack in Amsterdam’, meaning stay away from the hash coffeeshops.

  • It is safe to say that I’ll only be drinking coffee in those shops. But as far as that girl is concerned she should not conflict her beliefs but to maintain what it reads and adhere knowing that there will come a day where she will be with another soul mate. Patience is a virtue, love is like a winding river, and people are sometimes like a tall drink of that same rivers water!

  • i am having so much trouble meeting a nice jewish girl. i have tried everything. jdate, eharmony, match. its very frustrating. im a nice jewish boy from rockland county ny. 31 and ready to meet the one. its becoming very difficult. anyone have any advice or help of what else is out there?

  • Jeremy, you listed three online dating services. There’s an entire world of possibility that doesn’t involve internet dating. Part of the problem may be your location, I don’t know what the singles circuit is like in your area. But there’s Aish and its speed-dating, there are local events and centers of Jewish culture and education in nearly every community, and of course, you should ask your friends to keep you in mind. That’s the general advice, in addition to participating in activities that you find interesting on their own; that way, if you meet someone it’s just the icing on the cake.

  • White men choose women who preferably impress, but at least fit in with their peer group – and this means on looks. Jewish men are no exception. You don’t have to be a skinny blue-eyed blonde with iron-straight hair (although my best friend was and she was Orthodox) you can be a slightly-curvy curly-haired brunette, but when the curves become rolls, the interest level drops.

    Black men don’t have the same rating scale for women. No one would reject a woman because she has ugly feet, the idea is laughable. Black guys are more that way about face and figure too. And there are some nice black Jewish guys out there too. Really nice ones 🙂

    (I live in the Caribbean!)

  • “Black men don’t have the same rating scale for women. No one would reject a woman because she has ugly feet, the idea is laughable. Black guys are more that way about face and figure too.”

    I don’t know what rock YOU’VE been hiding under …

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