And he was in New York, all the time. Can you imagine that? A single Jewish man in New York? Manhattan, even…and we never met…
Ari Goldman, 34, who lives in Manhattan, where he runs a highly successful vintage comics enterprise, outpaced dozens of other eligible Jewish males who were interviewed by a local production company in a global search to find a Jewish Prince Charming for 17 similarly recruited Jewish Cinderellas.
He outpaced dozens of other eligible Jewish males! DOZENS! Alert the media! But with a name like that, don’t even bother to Google him. (Trust me. All you’ll get is listings for former NY Times reporter, Columbia Journalism professor and author Ari L. Goldman.)
For those of you who read this far thinking I was announcing my engagement, I’d like to clarify that this is not my Prince Charming we’re talking about. This is Israeli reality television’s new star: the kosher Bachelor, if you will. From the producers who brought you the Ambassador and of course, everyone’s favorite Israeli reality show, Take Me Sharon. (Never heard of it? Harry has. He knows things. So does Allison. But I digress. Regularly.)
For your convenience, I’m pleased to present this list of the more vomitatious/comedic/interesting highlights (it’s a fine line…) of this article:
*The use of the phrase “love is an international language” to explain why it won’t matter that the guy’s American and doesn’t speak Hebrew, while many of the women–who hail from many countries including Estonia, Ethiopia and Canada–speak only broken English.
*The name of the show, Mikol Habanot B’Olam (“Of all the girls in the world”). “Goldman will complete the [contrived, I wannabeacatch] phrase at the end of the show when he tells the young woman of his choice: ‘Of all the girls in the world, I picked you.'” (Awww. Or baaarfff. You pick one.) It’s a wonder that the original slogan, “of the seventeen girls that the production team picked for me, I felt like you were the lesser of seventeen evils and PS, you’re hot,” didn’t make the cut.
*Goldman doesn’t live in Israel. Welcome to the qualifier, that you’ll notice, steers clear of denominational identification:
Except for the (fairly significant) fact that he doesn’t live in Israel, Goldman, according to Lapid, qualifies as a staunch Zionist by any definition. He’s also traditional in his Judaism. Although he travels on Shabbat, he makes a point when in the US of having Friday night dinner with his family. He eats only kosher, and moreover dons a kippa when he sits down to eat. He also studies with a rabbi every two weeks. Some of the young women he’s about to meet are fully Sabbath observant. Some just eat kosher but don’t observe the Sabbath, and others are barely observant at all.
Finally, something potentially interesting. I hope that Jewlicious’s Israeli readers will let us know if any conflicts arise from issues surrounding styles of observance.
*It’s a tour even better than birthright! (Except without the Jewlicious hadrakhah)(counselor leadership):
Goldman meets them all in Jerusalem at the start of the show, and then courts one each week in a different part of Israel, so that audiences not only participate in a possible unfolding romance, but also get a broad view of the country.
*And finally, I’m pleased to conclude with a disembodied quote that could have been uttered either by Goldman, by his friends, or by the show’s producer:
“There’s a myth that Israel has the most beautiful girls in the world, and actually because of the mixed gene pool, it happens to be true.”
I’ve read that four times, and I I’ve come to the conclusion that whoever uttered this quote meant “belief” and not “myth.”
But I do hope that Goldman finds his
Myth Miss Right. And if he doesn’t, he’ll just have to come back to New York, dating desert that it is, and take his rightful place among the other literal dozens of single Jewish men, as he tries to put the “Man” back in Manhattan.
when if that happens, he should probably call the singles columnist at the New York Jewish Week for a post-reality reality checkinterview. Just a suggestion.