The recent suggestions that Jewlicious writers are living off trust fund kids gave Muffti an idea: wouldn’t it be great if we actually HAD trust funds? Oh the things we’d do! Such things!
So Muffti hereby announces the ‘Support a Jewlicious Writer with a Trust Fund’ drive! For a few measly tens of thousands of dollars, you can make the accusations true!
Jewlicious is well placed to offer a wide variety of needy personalities who don’t have trust funds. We have Esther, the orthodox writer who parties in one of America’s most expensive cities. Laya, an orthodox woman living in Israel where partying like a rockstar is a costly endeavour. TM will probably need two trustfunds. CK, well, he lives in a not so expensive city but still, look at how much time the guy spends blogging. A little cash flow could get him out more often to spend more time in East LA with our new buddies. Michael is an orthodox college kid and, after hanging out with him in New Orleans, Muffti can definitely tell you he needs money to get his own bachelour pad! (It’s urgent. That dorm room seriously lacked tznius. Shikseh’s were wearing thongs and trying to do strip shows in tzitzit!) Finally, Muffti is a loveable enough atheist grad student. That’s the kind of life that screams for a trust fund.
So, you see, each one of us needs a trust fund. In exchange, any writer that you support promises to: (a) post more (b) post better (Muffti will learn how to spell) and (c) provide photos of the relevant writer enjoying the easy life with the money you give him/her. (Unless you support TM, in which case, it’s all pictures of a penguin livin’ large.)
Have a heart y’all. Like other trust fund kids, we long to eat sushi and caviar, travel the world first class and destroy hotel rooms when we binge, date models and hob nob with the rich and famous. And a Jewlicious yacht would certainly advanace our jewlicious cause by leaps and bounds.
Won’t you please help?