Live Young, Old Dude!Chutzpah sometimes asks ‘why do men go for younger women?’ The answer that probably leaps to mind is something like ‘they are firmer, less bitter and more fun!’ However, Muffti has dug deeper and found the true answer, at least as far as the Jews go. We aren’t a shallow bunch of men looking for the newly ripened fruit. We just die quicker.

According to the Israeli Bureau of Stats, life expectancy was 77.6 years for Israeli men in 2003 (the latest available figure) and 81.8 for women. For those of you who find counting a challenge, that is 4.2 years difference. One might think that this would encourage men to look for women who are about 4 years older than them, thus accounting for the time difference in life expectancy. But not so! Since we die younger, we want to spend our lives living like we know we’ll die young. And we can ‘t live young with someone who can take it easy since she’ll live well past her late 70s and is thus relaxed with plenty of time to do all the things she wants to do.

World wide, the average life expectancy is roughly 61 years for men and for women, yep, 65. In Roman times, life expectancy was 22-25 years, so things seem to have gotten a fair bit better. Here is a handy chart reporting on the 2000 stats for life expectancy. You’ll all be glad to know that Muffti took the test which confirms that so long as he doesn’t hang out with CK too often, his life expectancy is around 83 years. The test, however, didn’t contain any question of the form ‘Are you a Grand Muffti?’, which surely makes an positive contribution.

See Globes Online for details.

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  • According to the test, I’m supposed to live to 86. Which is great, until I saw that the test was put together by someone named “Timmy,” who has undoubtedly been “down the well” too many times and suffers from chronically bad spelling.

    Luckily, CK’s moving to another country, which should greatly increase your life expectancy. Which works for you, since you’re not expecting G-d to meet you afterwards.

  • Muffti takes no responsibility for the quality or accuracy of the test. Having said that, good luck Shmuel. Enjoy your paltry number of years.

  • It says I’m going to live til 96, which is actually how old my great grandmother was when she died, although from the age of 80 she kept trying to. Every time it was “well, kids, I think this year is it, so you better say your goodbyes!”

  • Yeah. I answered honestly and came up with 81, but I tweaked it up to 103.