UnfortunateUnfortunate moments in advertising

Rabbi Marc Gellman writes about how understandably uncomfortable it is to talk to parents and high school students about oral sex. Rabbi Gellman urges the girls not to succumb to peer pressure, and chastises the boys into having more respect for women:

I quoted the Talmud to them: “Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man’s rib: Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.”

This message was all fine and good. But WHO decided it would be a good place to advertise First Impression – a three part lip treatment that promises

Lips that look and feel full, plump and moist … Lips that hypnotize, mesmerize and make others hang on every word you say … Lips as sensual and sexy as the supermodels and Hollywood starlets

So uh… what’s the message here? Probably just unfortunate ad placement. REALLY unfortunate ad placement.

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About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

53 Comments

  • Was that advert in the print edition or only online? By the time I clicked over, it wasn’t there anymore online, although it may still be in print somewhere. Internet ads rotate, as you know. This is unfortunate placement, probably random, but also extremely innocuous unless except for those predisposed to making those kinds of segues in your mind.

  • I’ve always wondered where our chesticularly-challenged poster babe got that lipalicious cold sore…

  • Muffti doesn’t get it…what’s so uncomfortable about talking about oral sex? Gelman says:

    “When you offer oral sex to a boy who does not love you and may not even like you and who will most probably destroy your reputation by telling his friends what you will do, are you proud of yourself? Do you think you are making your parents proud of you? Do you think this is what God wants you to do with your body? You are better than that. You are much better than that.”

    Anyone remember 50s propaganda movies? This is taken nearly straight from their playbook. First, scare them with social pressure (‘your reputation’). Then remind them of their parents values. Then remind them that god is watching everything so they should be ashamed to do such dirty things in the eyes of the lord. Muffti can’t help but be a bit disgusted.

  • Muffti, come on… you KNOW what little shits boys can be. Is it really a good idea to pressure girls to have oral sex so that they can be popular? Would you tell your sister it was a good idea to go down on a boy so that she can be “somewhat” popular?

  • Muffti wouldn’t tell his little sister to do anything to be popular. It has nothing to do wtih oral sex though; it has to do with the lack of self respect one accrues by doing anything they don’t want to do for the sake of popularity. But what’s up with this background assumption that blowjobs are being given out by the truckload for the sake of popularity?

  • sheesh, mods are censor happy today. didn’t mean to rattle anyone’s delicate sensibilites.

  • So Muffti, you really think a 13 year old girl who gives a 16 year old boy a blowjob in the back of a school bus on the way to school is doing that because she’s expressing her uh… liberation from outmoded notions of sexuality? Or as part of a sincere act of affection between two loving people in a caring and committed relationship? That’s not what the Rabbi is talking about. He’s talking about a recent trend amongst high school students where blow jobs are seen as no big deal and provide entree into a world of (false) sophistication and popularity. The blowjobs he’s talking about are coerced via peer pressure. You say “Muffti wouldn’t tell his little sister to do anything to be popular” and in that respect, you and the Rabbi see eye to eye. So why be so contrary? Oh I forgot – you’re an atheist. But it’s cool, see, Rabbi Gellman is a Reform Rabbi, so y’all should get along just fine! (Oh no he didn’t! Oh yes he did! I was kidding! Relax!)

  • Something missing from this discussion is that this assumption that the boy is always at fault and the girls are just pure angels with a dilemma is simply wrong. Many girls are curious and want to explore sex just as much as the boys do. There are some girls who get aggressive and force themselves on boys, telling them they aren’t “real men” if they don’t give in. Some girls even at young ages want to give blowjobs, enjoy giving them, and that’s a concept that disgusts people but doesn’t take away from its accuracy.

    There is nothing inherently wrong with exploring sex. Nothing. The pain comes not with embarrasment of a destroyed reputation but from the guilt they receive from their houses of worship and adults who just don’t grasp that sexual exploration is natural and not dirty. Rabbi Gellman was on a roll when he talked about how we’re more like the humping seeing eye dog than one degree less than angels but then goes on to say that kids should try to behave like they don’t have a sex drive. It makes no sense. Some people are living in a fantasyland.

    It’s like in that movie “Meet the Fockers” when DeNiro’s character wanted to believe his daughter was a virgin and so Pam couldn’t even tell him that she was pregnant. She couldn’t be honest. We are driving our kids to a place where they cannot be honest with their elders about their sex life because they know judgments will be made, so they’re forced to deal with these issues by themselves.

  • Muffti thinks that you should encourage people to not lose self respect in general by doing things they don’t want to do. On that level, it has nothing to do with blowjobs or anything else. Muffti wouldn’t want his sister baking cookies for older boys to get more popular. He wouldn’t want her making out with older dudes just to feel secure. Muffti wants her to be happy and secure period.

    Muffti isn’t saying that oral sex isn’t ever coerced from 13 years olds or otherwise: Muffti goes to university and knows that it is coerced on a regular basis, sometimes from people who are drunk enough to be the functional equivalent of 5 year olds. Of course coercion is wrong and if that is all that the good Rabbi is talking about, why is the focus on oral sex in particular?

  • Because our last Democratic President established that having oral sex may not constitute having “sexual relations” under the eyes of the Lord/media/law or any combination of the the 3.
    Pass me some Jessica Simpson products and put away the tuition bill for my Daughter’s crappy Yeshiva education …I think I have a date tonight.

  • Muffti makes the most important point, I think. Is this rabbi’s little lecture about coerced, harmful and/or meaningless sexual expression because it’s harmful, or is the rabbi against all oral sex, anywhere, anytime?

    I wonder if the rabbi would be okay with oral sex within a loving marriage. That’s the test.

  • I found the Rabbis article extremely unpersuasive, out of touch, and well, missing the point. Kids live in a pornographic world, and act out what they see surrounding them. I agree with Mufti, why the focus on oral sex? Why not sex in general? Is he particularly bothered by it? or is he unaware that teens are doing lots more. For example, this article tells about a high-school condom club that hands out 12 free condoms a week per kid. Sorry about the pun, but this issue he has focused on is only the tip of the iceberg.

  • I think the concern is because the kids are so young, and because our culture is so sexualized that kids feel there’s something wrong with them if they don’t explore to every extent possible–so it’s possible that the “choice” to engage in these activities is not actually a choice at all.

    Plus, “rainbow” parties at bar and bat mitzvahs seems wrong, somehow.

  • Why does the good rav only talk about the deleterious effects of girl-on-boy oral sex? What about the myriad woes, including but not limited to strange odors, stranger flavors and the awkward realization that one may have pubic hair stuck in his teeth, that arise from the wanton hussies of the fairer sex conning innocent and pure Bnei Torah into cunning linguistics?

    I want to see an article on that! Shemirat ha-lashon indeed.

  • Everyone knows it is against the law to have sex with a minor under the age of 18, even if you are another minor. But it is unclear to most people whether their state’s laws against sex with a minor includes fellatio, cunnilingus and sodomy with a minor, even from another minor. I’m a believer in waiting till prom night for these activities, then if your reputation gets ruined, it doesn’t matter because you are off to college to ruin a a clean rep. all over again.

  • So long as we don’t promote a healthy and tolerant view that it is a positive role to wait until one is married then you have people who are products and indeed brain washed by what they watch on television and movies. It is important for parents to monitor what their children watch on these mediums. The problem is that except in Orthodox society, this is not done that much, as an institutional method. Individual bright people in the Conservative, Reform, and the healing movements especially, are aware of this problem, but it is only in the Orthodox world, where you can procreate as it were, wholesale attitudes about a particular cultural phenomenon, that there can be kids who are totally oblivious to this ultra sexuality that kids are into in the general society. How they maintain this, is another issue and I have no idea. Possibly from a fine educational institution. This is the primary reason to be Orthodox, imo. This is a major benefit.

  • First of all, never trust a guy with a red bowtie.

    Muffti, I agree with you that Bowtie’s focus is too narrow, as if oral sex is at the top of sexual promiscuity. Like the Torah says regarding adultery, it’s not the action but the thought that’s the source of the sin. That’s what Bowtie should be tackling.

    Michael, the portrait you paint is hitting all five senses. Beautiful. I just ate.

    And am I alone in admitting that I don’t see Reb Yonah’s pun? I’ve never called my special member an iceberg. To be honest, when someone says ‘Iceberg’ I’m thinking of the Titanic and sometimes, lettuce.

  • BTW, Condoms won’t protect you from herpes. Some condoms are made of skin and viruses pass through those easily. The thicker latex ones are more effective but aren’t as much fun. And remember the creatures that move.
    Don’t know the exact nature of the tissue, but it is from animal and very thin. Very expensive, too if I remember. Maybe some of the guys here know what I’m talking about. They may not be used much anymore as they aren’t a good barrier to viruses.

    Perhaps because a virus is much smaller than a molecule of water. Virus passes through some thinner latex, let alone sheeps membrane. The thicker the latex the better. This is an area I worked in at one time. For awhile it was recommended we wear two sets of latex gloves for herpes virus exams.

    sorry for the reality check. herpes can be transmitted from skin-to-skin contact, as can cold sores (which are a form of herpes).

    However, a virus cannot be transmitted through an unbroken latex condom and I would worry about the implications of the ‘double-gloving’ technique. If you use two condoms, breakage is more likely because of the friction between two dry membranes.

  • The Rabbi found the use of the word “tip” to be a pun.
    Is this one any better: what do a getting a “get” and making a bris have in common – at both you are getting rid of a little dick!

    Any snarky comments on Richard Gere playing a Kabbalah teacher in “Bee Season” anyone?

  • How long before this thread becomes our new winner for most posts?

    Ladies and gentlemen (and Muffti) place your bets. ;P

  • Grace, i’m not sure “winner” is the right term…
    Encino yeled, I read. A lot.

    The quick explanation? Each teenage girl wears a different color lipstick, and at the end of the night, some men brag about having rainbows they can take home with them. There are also parties where different color rubber bracelets on the arms indicate what that girl is “up for” that night…

    For those seeking further explanation, here’s a list of links about rainbow parties.

  • It’d make the whole doing Jewish with other Jews easier, for everyone. And I checked the link, apparently it’s a term made up by Oprah, the godess, the legend. Wonder what Dr. Phil would say about this thread.

  • ck, ani mechakeh k’ha email shelcha.

    And im comin to NYC in dec en route to the holy land, so yeah, I’d look to meet some of you hoodrats. that goes for you too michael.

  • Jobber wrote: Perhaps because a virus is much smaller than a molecule of water.

    Jobber, I’ve now officially ranked your views on anything scientific as being just below that of Kansas. You may want to hit up your chemistry, virology, and microbiology books. AFAIK, a lubricated latex condom is an effective barrier to viral transmission, whether herpes or HIV.

  • Muffti can’t help but be a little bit amused by the notion of a rainbow party: why is it that such parties are relatively rare on university campuses when they seem to be a weekly occurrences in high school? Have we created a generation that gets less slutty as they get older? Or is Muffti just never invited to the right parties?

  • I know! You’d think Philosophy Grad students would be on the A-List of every happenning College shindig, especially those involving hot promiscuous women – Continental Philosophers Gone Wild!

  • heh…well, Muffti has seen some crazy stuff since he got to grad school. However, for what it’s worth, there is no clear evidence that these rainbow parties exist, short of a few anecdotal cases.

  • Hate to agree with Jobber on this one Taltman, but natural lambskin condoms are not guaranteed to protect against HIV and carrier a disclaimer on the box since the manufacturers were sued by a gay man who contracted the virus using them. The gay community has been advised against using natural lambskin condoms since about 1987.

  • Yeled, don’t go misquoting Oprah or using her name in vain. She didn’t claim to make up the term. She made the term known to the public by revealing the findings of her investigative reporters.

  • I also think alot of these ‘articles’ are B.S.
    Don’t think this news is as widespread as you are making it out to be.

    Only because I work at many Bar and Bat Mitzvas, and there’s nothing going on, because I would know. I don’t let so much as a piece of rice stay on the floor where I am on duty, don’t let the kids run wild, also don’t let the wallflowers hand out for more than one dance. If I saw them smoking, boozing I would confiscate.

    Is my experience anecdotal? perhaps, but I just don’t buy the hype.

  • Chutzpah, If that’s what Google says, then that’s what I believe. Never knew you worshipped her. Getting to the root of this, does anybody know anybody who’s been to a rainbow party? Urban myth, it seems.

  • It is well-known Chutzpah trivia that I am an Oprah worshipper. You can’t just read the summary from Google, you have to go directly to the Oprah website link to read the quotes themselves. Actually, rainbow parties were featured on Nip/Tuck, but so are full facial transplants, so I wouldn’t take that as source of truth. BUT, if Oprah sources say it’s happening, it’s happening somewhere, maybe in ‘da hoods….she spends far too much money to have the truth of her stories verified 100% at this point in her career.

  • Muffti hereby announces the first Jewlicious fundraiser! It’s called ‘the Totally Jewlicious Rainbow Party!’ There will be a dinner, (copius amounts of) alcohol and prizes for the best rainbows. All money goes to the ‘Get Rami Watid an X-box’ fund!

    Come for a good cause!

  • Just when you thought this thread was fading away, I got this week’s issue of New York magazine, which is all about sex.

    Not surprisingly, and almost as if they were monitoring this very post, NY Mag also included the “100-Teen vs. 100-Parent Promiscuity Poll.” The scoring is a little hard to read, but suffice it to say that parents have no idea what teens are doing. And really, neither do we.

  • so, now “oral sex” is synonymous with “fellatio”? and what if girls make boys cry – does god count their tears too?

    i say totally, don’t succumb to peer pressure. But if, in a moment of weakness, you do, make sure he reciprocates!

  • two days have gone by and only 44 comments to this provocative and racy post?!

    S3x posts should be only done by muffti. Statistics report that a muffti/s3x post guarantees 100+ comments, while other jewlicious posters just don’t attract the same appeal. Why is that?

    This post should have cracked the top 7 by now.

  • Chutzpah wrote: Hate to agree with Jobber on this one Taltman

    No worries, I didn’t really take note of what Jobber wrote about lambskin condoms, just what he wrote about latex condoms. And his ridiculous statement about ‘viruses being smaller than water molecules’ just turned the scientist in me into the Incredible Hulk.

    Do a lot of people go for lambskin condoms? I’ve never seen them for sale, anywhere. What, do you make a special arrangement with the local shochet to get them? 😉

  • I happen to know about this stuff only because I am writing a comedy about a woman who is allergic to latex. Natural lambskin is an alternative to prevent pregnancy but polyurethane condoms are the latex-free alternative of choice to prevent STD’s/HIV and pregnancy. Like kosher meat, natural lambskin condoms are way more expensive. I’m actually more interested in the market share for the Magnum XL’s.

  • Thanks (Muffit thinks) Josh for the endorsement. However, we should note that this post was actually done by the other s3x fiend, CK. And the jewlicious bunch aren’t as sexual as Muffti would like to see: our top commented on post is on pre-marital sex and it is by the Middle man himself.

  • Thanks (Muffit thinks) Josh for the endorsement. However, we should note that this post was actually done by the other s3x fiend, CK. And the jewlicious bunch aren’t as sexual as Muffti would like to see: our top commented on post is on pre-marital sex and it is by the Middle man himself.

  • That is correct, Muffti, while the Pope and Conservative Judaism are also among our top 7 all time posts. The fact is that whether it’s politics, religion or sex, we have no idea what will stir people to comment in large numbers.

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