Are these two like... fuckin each other? Gross!
International Marketing geniuses Judith Weinroth and her “associate” Jerry Maser. G0d help us, we’re really fucked now.

Being single is hard. And we need to make more Jewish fricken babies in order to replenish lost Members of the Tribe…that’s a huge burden. How could we streamline our process, make it more efficient, and help to bolster the Jewish birthrate? If only we could harness the power of the internet and employ some sort of marketing technique to attract single Jews…then we’d have something to talk abooot…

The Canadian Jewish News reports that they’ve found a dynamic duo who think they have the answer.

What it will take, they say, is the application of contemporary marketing techniques to grab the attention of single Jews. It starts with a mass media campaign in the mainstream press to attract Jewish singles to an interactive website. The site will gather data regarding the activities that interest the people who visit, then a group of professionals and volunteers will organize the social occasions that will bring together singles in a non-threatening atmosphere in which dating is not, repeat, not the prime focus.

Sounds like MySpace or Friendster gone shtetl-fabulous to me…Non-threatening events? How is that possible? And in what kind of young professionals organization isn’t dating a prime if not the prime focus? What are they talking abooot?

Ultimately, their “Jewish Singles World” is a form of community-building, they say, with the idea that if you bring together single Jews with similar interests, dating and romance will flow naturally and a hoped-for population boom will transpire.

Not to be a naysaying Naomi, but isn’t this what every organization attempts with its events, to create singles events that don’t feel like singles events, that unite people through their interests or activities or surrounding some sort of holiday celebration?

As they say in hockey, if you don’t shoot you can’t score, and likewise with the program envisioned by the two, if you don’t bring Jews together, you won’t get the next generation of Jews.

And there’s nothing like a hockey analogy to unite Canadian men Jewish singles everywhere…

They have a plan and a projected budget ($300,000) and have received endorsements from Conservative and Reform rabbis groups, and Kolel, an adult Jewish learning organization. In case you’re wondering, $300K would cover buying media placements, operating the website, renting venues, hiring staff and operating Jewish Singles World in a professional manner.

Jewish Singles World. A world of only Jewish singles. I keep hearing an enthsiastic announcer talking about JSW’s seasonal specials (“Now, at Jewish Singles World, our holiday specials–50 percent off everyone named David! Plus, don’t forget to check out our closeout bargain basement center, where Rachels are one dime for a full dozen!”)

Seriously, I’d like to know if these guys discover “the secret” that every singles service or site has tried to elicit from the universe since dating time immemorial. And if they ever actually do get a $300K grant, I have to admit, I might be interested in a job.

But while Canada’s weighing in, what do you think, America? And what about you, Yisrael? Other countries think you can take us on, feel free to Bring It. Because if you truly DO have the answer, singles want to hear it. But if it’s still the same mindless, irrelevant, half-tushied approach writ $300K-large, well, we’re probably better off spending that money elsewhere. Like on a Jewish Singles Column Laureate. Or something.

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Esther Kustanowitz

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