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Did you ever type in Jewlicious.com, but then cock your head to the side and think “Jewlicious, what have you done for me lately?”

I know I do.

For all the hard work we put into this Web site, what good are we really if we can’t offer you cool shit every once in a while?

So with that in mind, do we have a contest for you. Gevalt such a contest.

Here’s the deal – In the film, one of the daughter’s girlfriend is not Jewish. Ironically enough, she’s the only one who can get it together to bring the matzoh (and a little soul) to the seder. What we want from you is your best Seder Survival tips for non-Jews.

Post your responses and submissions below and be sure to include your correct email address so we can contact you if you win.

What you get
– basically, the best prizes being offered anywhere.

1) The grand prize winner will receive the original Ethan Stuckman (played by Max Greenfield) as tycoon, framed prop photo, as seen close up in the foyer of the Stuckman home. And we may be able to have Max Greenfield sign it himself.

2) The runner up will receive a signed script of the movie.

There will of course also be tickets and stress balls offered as well, but you want the real live authentic movie set gear. You can’t get that just anywhere.

Now for your scrolling bonus, as Esther would say, we also have, special for you, an exclusive clip of the film

For Windows Media Player

For Quicktime


Winners will be announced April 14.

But wait! there’s more!
Click here to see the When do We Eat musical e-card.

About the author

Laya Millman


  • Anyone notice the chabadnik in that clip wash his hands like everyone else by dipping his hands in the bowl? Come on he should know better… Just saying…

    Anyway, favorite passover story and how it should work into a survival guide. Last Pesach I arrived early to the campus chabad to help set up for seder. People started arriving, but not too many people were there yet when the door bell rang. The Shliach went to the door to open it and was greeted by 2 college age boys in suits who he didn’t know. Assuming that they were the typical once a year kind of Jews here for seder he invited them in. That’s when they began to tell us all about Jesus and the book of Morman. Needless to say the shliach who’s a chabadnik who grew up in Israel had no idea who mormins where and asked them all kinds of questions. In the end they explained to him that they were missionaries looking to spread to word of their Lord. His response, in a very excited tone, “Your missionaries? I’m a missionary too! Want to stay for Seder? Do you even know what that means?” End result was that you had 2 very uncomfortable mormans sitting on a couch for a while hearing about the exidus. Needless to say they didn’t stay for the Seder. Moral and guide for survival: If your a missionary then the seder is not your place. Or don’t show up to chabad on Passover dressed in a suit if you don’t want to stay for the whole seder…

  • Anyway… I just reread that and discovered it was a lot funnier in person and in my head. Oh well… Chag Kasher v’Samayach everybody…

  • I am writing a screenplay about the Mordechai Tendler scandal in Monsey, that will be the most awesome movie you ever saw. Am going there this Shabbat to KNH, upstairs minyan, 8:15, will be bringing the Babke.

  • Robert, please don’t think me rude for offering some free advice to a professional, but I would suggest that for your film you cast Scarlet Johansson and not Madonna. Just a friendly tip.

    [editorial note from Esther: middle, I edited this because the person who posted as Robert is not Robert…]

  • And by the way, the person who is posting as other people, stop it. I will change your comments if you persist in this behavior. And then, if the behavior continues, I will delete your comments and ask CK to ban you. I mean it. I’ve asked nicely before, several times. Don’t do it here, on my blogs or anywhere else. You don’t have to include your real name in the comments sections, but STOP USING THE REAL NAMES OF OTHER PEOPLE. It’s misleading, and becomes a form of lashon hara. So cut it out.

    And I’m posting this on the other thread too, to make sure you hear me.

  • Whoa! Esther, I’m with you on this.

    How wacky can you get? Strange person using other people’s names, you are pulling some weird crap. Is it a cry out for help? Do you need to see a therapist?

  • Let the Muffti announce that he shall send his relentless minions after anyone who dares to violate the sanctity of his name by using it!

  • And just to clarify, Jobber is still welcome to post as Jobber. Just not in impersonation of others.

  • Sheesh y’all – enough administrative crap here… contest submissions only please! Purim Hero, that story was pretty funny and so far YOU’RE WINNING! I don’t know if it’s bad form for me to make an entry but what the hell, here goes:

    Hey Goyim, whilst attending a Seder, when they get to the part that reads “Oh Lord, pour out your wrath on the Goyim that do not believe in you…” try not to take it personally. It’s not meant to be a subtle threat.


  • Top seder survival tips for non-Jews (Goyish-Americans):

    -Please refrain from laughing at the following terms: Shankbone, Kreplach, Egg Cream, Matzah Balls, Sponge Cake, Blech.
    -Please don’t refer to the matzah, or Uncle Mortie, as a cracker.
    -You don’t need to bring an offering of Gentile Blood for the matzah. Flowers would be fine for a hostess gift.
    -Adding Pabst Blue Ribbon to your glass does NOT put the “Man” back in Manischewitz.
    -If you want to appear hip, say you’ve read the latest issue of Heeb Magazine. If you want to appear ultra-hip, say you subscribe to Kike Quarterly.
    -No one wants to hear your Matisyahu impersonation.
    -Please don’t mock our symbolic condiments.
    -Remember – it’s the guest’s responsibility to start the pillow fight!
    -Try not to add any spiritually insightful poetry to the Haggadah, or discuss how the notion of Israelite slavery relates to the current crisis in the Sudan. You’ll only delay the brisket.

  • Here’s my favorite tip: That glass full of wine in the middle of the table…yeah, that’s not for you.

  • Long time reader…
    My tip is not to go for a smoke just before everybody rises to sing ‘Eleiyahu Ha’navei.
    (in my house, we open the door…does everybody?)

  • – sit in the chair that is second-farthest from the kitchen so that you don’t have to get up to change all the plates mid-meal. (the leader usually gets to sit the farthest, though, so don’t take that seat)
    – don’t sit between the grandparents
    – do snack beforehand because it’s going to be a while until dinner and the “snacks” we get during the seder aren’t so tasty in general

  • One more tip for gentiles – do NOT bring a cake or homebacked bread as a hostess gift (yes these both really happened in our family!)

  • Also don’t show up with a slaughterd goat… I don’t care what a literal read of the bible tells you… It’s bad form, and activist Annie and all her peeps will go PETA on your tuchas…

  • When the women get old…watch their cooking. My mom made garlic mashed potatoes. And instead of adding the regular non-dairy creamer, she added HAZELNUT flavored one. GAG!
    I will never forget that Pesach.

  • i’ve never posted on a blog before….
    but, this movie ROCKED. the movie made me feel like my family seder is totally normal. i was laughing the whole time (if my mouth wasn’t open in awe). i would like a date with ethan AND zeke. (they can be on different nights). too bad they’re only showing the movie in NYC, LA and FL…what a legendary seder.

  • Question about Seder we’re invited to Wed Night. Is it customary to take a gift for the host/hostess? If so what would we take? Want to do what’s right! Please email me at [email protected]

  • A bottle of Kosher for Passover wine that’s labeled as Mevushal is a good safe gift, or flowers, that way you don’t make mistakes about food that allowed by whom and when ect…
    If you want to be really creative you could bring costumes that people could wear that would dress them up like the Jews who were leaving Egypt, that way people could really relive it… but that’d really deepend on the crowd for it to go over well… so yeah, probably one of the first 2.

  • Yes PH. We’re all fine. None of us was anywhere near the bombing but thanks for asking.

    Sorry for the delay in announcing the winners. We’ll be on it ASAP!

  • CK… it was not meant as a personal attack but only meant to bring a dead thread (it’s off the main page, and even the first previous page.) I frankly don’t really care, and have no interest in the prizes. I just didn’t want it lost in time. B”H non of you were hurt. I unfortunatly can’t say the same for Phillip Balhason or Victor Erez (so far the only 2 names anounced) but G-d should give them an aliyas Nishmasos along with the rest of the victoms and a refuah shlema for all the injured individuals.

    Sorry about being a pest. I posted before I saw anything on the story, and was mostly being playful. I didn’t mean to be mis-understood. I’ll refrain in the future.