Atheists, it turns out, are one of America’s most hated groups. In a recent study at the University of Minnesota on the American Mosaic Project, Researchers Penny Edgell, Joseph Gerties and Douglas Hartmann.
Americans rate atheists below Muslims, recent immigrants, gays and lesbians and other minority groups in ‘sharing their vision of American society.’ Atheists are also the minority group most Americans are least willing to allow their children to marry…[Atheists are] seen as a threat to the American way of life by a large portion of the American public.
That must explain why Muffti is still a happily unwed fellow. It’s a good thing that women frequently like to date guys that their parents wouldn’t ever want them to engage in wedlock or the Muffti would have to start going to shul and hiding his religious views.
The study’s results, however, seem to be mirrored in the public discrouse. As the American Atheists Website notes, atheists are generally being targetted by
total dipshits celebrities, rabbis and, well Melinda Barton. (Actually, the American Atheists, so far as Muffti can tell, are a bunch of whiners who complain about things like Katie Couric claiming ‘there are no atheists in a foxwhole’ (though Muffti would like to know just how long Katie has spent in foxholes), Melinda Barton, writing for Raw Story attempting to counter the injurious effects of the atheist ‘whackjobs’ on the left (Muffti would prefer the left got rid of the stupid first. First to go: Melinda Barton)).
However, to make this a Jewlicious story, Muffti noticed a while back that Rabbi Gellman took the time to write a piece about ‘angry’ atheists. As he puts it:
This must sound condescending and a large generalization, and I don’t mean it that way, but I am tempted to believe that behind atheist anger there are oftentimes uncomfortable personal histories. Perhaps their atheism was the result of the tragic death of a loved one, or an angry degrading sermon, or an insensitive eulogy, or an unfeeling castigation of lifestyle choices or perhaps something even worse. I would ask for forgiveness from the angry atheists who write to me if I thought it would help. Religion must remain an audacious, daring and, yes, uncomfortable assault on our desires to do what we want when we want to do it.
Rabbi Gellman might do well to consider alternative explanations for this alleged anger. Hmmmn, what might be causing it? Let’s see. Maybe it’s because idiots write to Newsweek and pretend they are psychologists while disussing us. Maybe we get miffed when we get told that our students should learn to be skeptical of evolution and taught its only (completely unsubstantiated by any evidence) competitor ‘theory’ (which oddly looks strangely like evolution with a tacked on ‘Oh yeah, God put this in play’). We get upset when we are told that we shouldn’t read holy texts as ‘histories’, that much of the hard to understand, contradictory parts are ‘metaphors’, that most of what goes on is ‘allegory’ and yet when we conclude that it must be a work of fiction, everyone goes ballistic.
The funny things about Gellman’s article is that he ends with an entirely psychological explanation for being religious:
I believe that the philosopher-rabbi Mordecai Kaplan was right when he said, â€œIt is hell to live without hope, and religion saves people from hell.â€
So, after claiming that atheists are angry and only atheists because of psychological rather than straightforwardly obvious rational reasons (like ’em or not), he goes on to tell us that religion is basically a way to keep yourself happy and hopeful. Hmmmn…
The thing is that the presupposition is unjustified. Atheists aren’t angry in general. We’re cool with all you believers. We frequently find you to be deluded and insensitive to reason, but we like children and they are kind of like that too. Truth be told, Muffti is just jealous. He wants to be happy too. So, Muffti will end this ramble with a pictorial representation of some theists:
Here’s some happy Muslims!
And some happy Jews!
Don’t forget the happy Christians!
Oh, what the hell, here’s one happy atheist!