From: Shin Bet, c/o STATE OF ISRAEL

To: Countries Who Like Israel

RE: Geek Recruitment Initiative (via Chicago Tribune)

The world might view us as shadowy and sinister, but at the Shin Bet, we want to show you that we’re more than the Israeli version of 24’s CTU. Still, without our Chloe O’Brians, we’re nothing. So we proudly publicly announce our top-secret computer programmer recruitment drive, now available on our website full of faulty Javascript. (See? We already need you!)
We offer competitive salaries and a chance to develop useful technologies, all while pounding the enemies of the State of Israel into oblivion. Plus, every December, for the week of Hanukkah, soofganiyot and coffee is on us!

As our chief Yuval Diskin recently noted, computer geeks were as vital to weeding out suicide bombers as undercover agents and interrogators.

So if you thought that your Coke-bottle glasses and pocket protectors meant you wouldn’t see any action, point those peepers at a Shin Bet computer screen, or invent the pocket protector with tracing and satellite technology.

As Jesus said, the geeks will inherit the earth. And they’re gonna do it on our watch, working on behalf of Israel. So tell friends, family…everyone you know. Actually, on second thought, tell NO ONE. [wink, wink, nudge, nudge…]
Note: If you received this message in error, please feel free to forward to a friend of Israel. If you know one.

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Esther Kustanowitz

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  • Uh, it’s in Hebrew. It might as well be considered top-secret for the rest of us…