The good news is I’ve solved the conflict between Muslims and Jews. All we have to do is agree that the opposite sex is evil and that singles should only mix in pursuit of immediate marriage. Whaddya say, kids? Doable?
Those of you who are loyal Jewlicious readers are likely to remember a post I did last year about a site for frum (religious) teens called, well, FrumTeens, which had a post cautioning girls (in 71 different “reasons”) to “Never never never talk to boys…” According to “It’s Muslim Boy Meets Girl, But Don’t Call it Dating” (NY Times), American Muslims “equate anything labeled â€œdatingâ€ with hellfire, no matter how short a time is involved.” (Well, they’re kind of right. Or at least it feels like hellfire sometimes. But usually a trip to the doctor clears that up.)
The couple of hundred people attending the dating seminar [at the Islamic Society of North America’s annual convention, which attracted thousands of Muslims to Chicago over Labor Day weekend] burst out laughing when Imam Muhamed Magid of the Adams Center, a collective of seven mosques in Virginia, summed up the basic instructions that Muslim American parents give their adolescent children, particularly males: â€œDon’t talk to the Muslim girls, ever, but you are going to marry them. As for the non-Muslim girls, talk to them, but don’t ever bring one home.â€
But what about online dating and email messages? Surely that constitutes innocent and pure behavior, providing a safe space for Muslim singles to interact? Not so fast…basically, the article tells us, to Muslim ears, “dating” is a euphemism for premarital sex. Or, as the dating seminar moderator put it, “All of these are traps of the Devil to pull us in and we have no idea we are even going that way.â€
Still, most American Muslims acknowledge that the optimal mate-finding process–an arranged marriage–is unattainable in this day and age. But they still want to be involved in the process.
So here’s the idea…a Joint Muslim-Jewish Task Force on Eradicating the Evil Process of Dating in the Modern World So That Singles Can Hurry Up and Get Married Already But Not to Each Other (Heaven Forbid). The JMJTFoOEtEPoDitMWSTSCHUaGMABNtEO(HF) may just revolutionize relationships, between Jews and Muslims as well as among their respective singles populations. And you heard it here first, folks…