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So you know how I mentioned that despite my living in the Jewish state, come December, I just can’t get Christmas tunes out of my head? Call it a Pavlovian response, call it the cold, rejected hands of Babylon flipping me off, call it whatever you want. Still, I’m plagued by it.

The good news is, because I never really learned the words to these songs, it’s just the tunes that repeat with a variety that even Galgalatz beats, leaving my brain to make up new words.

For instance (and remember, it’s always more fun when you sing along):

On the first night of Hanukkah, my country gave to me
an M-16 in an olive tree.

On the second night of Hanukkah, my country gave to me
two state solutions and an M-16 in an olive tree.

On the third night of Hanukkah, my country gave to me
three big faiths, two state solutions and an M-16 in an olive tree.

On the fourth night of Hanukkah, my country gave to me
four major wars, three big faiths, two state solutions and an M-16 in an olive tree.

That’s as far as I got. 5 points for anyone who can come up with one of the next 3 verses.

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Laya Millman

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