I ask this question in light of recent survey results of Jews in the UK who were asked which celebrity Jew they would most like to go on a date with. Jewish English women it seems have particularly odd tastes in man meat. Number 1 on their list was David Schwimmer, the former Friends star who hasn’t really done dick since the insipid sitcom mercifully ended it’s 10 year run 2 years ago. The number 2 choice was Sacha Baron Cohen who’s latest Borat movie was certainly successful… but do you really wanna date him that badly? Other Jewish sex symbols include Seinfeld co-creator, head writer and executive producer Larry David (I dare you to think of him in his underwear without hurling), Henry Winkler (The Fonz!), 60 year-old billionaire philanthropist Sir Alan Sugar, Zach Braff (who?) and actor and Ali G/Borat percusor Paul Kaye (click on the link to see Dennis Pennis of the BBC do his thing). The last two guys on the list are at least somewhat conventionally handsome – British politician Ed Miliband and Israeli soccer player Tal Ben Haim (although Tal could do with a tweezer to the unibrow).
And who do the men want to date? Number one on their list was
slutty sultry Jazz singer Amy Winehouse whose videos we recently featured on Jewlicious. Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, Rachel Weisz and to a certain extent Gwyneth Paltrow (who isn’t Jewish) were obvious choices. The rest of the choices were English women including Abi Finlay, an American Idol for Musical Theatre participant, Caprice Bourret, a model-slash-actress (you know what that means), Natasha Kaplinsky a co-anchor for the BBC news, Lucie Silvas, a singer and songwriter of the AOR variety (I’m sure The Middle would think she was fabulous) and Nigella Lawson, a sexually provocative, middle-aged journalist who is married to Charles Saatchi and runs a cooking show.
We covered the last quarterly poll and it seems singer Peaches and porn star Ron Jeremy have been voted off the dating Island as well as KISS frontman Gene Simmons (who it turns out really is a nice guy).
OK. I’m done.
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You’re nuts. Larry David and Sacha Baron Cohen are super sexy. They are intelligent, hysterically funny, good looking, tall, and Jewish. And loaded. Who could ask for more?
“Zach Braff (who?)”–that hurts, CK.
And as for Tal, what if the core of his strength and the essence of his soccer power is in that unibrow? And what if he grooms because of what you wrote here? And what if he becomes impotent as a soccer player as a result? Can you live with that, can you, CAN YOU?
The only thing this survey proves is that women find guys with a sense of humor sexy, while men find women who are hot sexy. Hooray for voting Jeremy off the island. That’s way overdue, clearly even open-minded Jewis women don’t care what kind of sense of humor he has.
OK, now I’m done.
Okay, I had to go to Youtube to learn who Lucie Silvas is. 1. Looks are not quite doing it for me. 2. Music not to my taste.
Not to worry, though, ck, your secret passion for Britney Spears and her music is not something I would share with others non-chalantly.
Ofri- you are nuts! Larry David is really, really not sexy. That is just gross. And I think just about everyone is attractive (or so I’ve been told).
Tiff – There’s just no accounting for taste. I’m sure lots of women would agree with you, and lots would agree with me. From what I can tell, you can take pretty much any person in the world and put them on tv or in a movie, and someone somewhere will find them sexy.
Esther, expert blogger on these matters, do women really find…
But you explain to Jewish Mother why you’re not allowing that man to plant his seed. 🙂
As Larry David’s example shows, it doesn’t matter a damn what a guy looks like– even an ugly guy can be sexy– while for women, looks are all-important. Ah, it’s great being a guy, it really is (not that I’m ugly or anything).
I’d go with Nigella’s multi-tasking, food/sex combo, something that’s rare to the point of extinction in America.
Don’t worry TM, you’re way too Jewish for Lucie Silvas anyway- she allegedly changed her name so as not be labelled a MOT. (And start with “What You’re Made Of”- not a bad song.)
I don’t know what is more depressing- this list, or the fact that I remember last year’s post on the same subject as if it were yesterday. Sigh.
I heard England is having a sale on mail-order Orthodox Brides. My Ex just shipped one in, complete with step-child.
The only thing the United Kingdom ever produced worth any value was The Beatles and Sir Tom Jones.
Larry David is so funny. I love him but he is not sexy in the least. The voice, the scraggly gray hair. Feh.
Sacha on the other hand? OMG. He has the power to make me laugh uncontrollably. I am his laugh slave. He’s audacious, super smart, long and lean and quite good-looking. Not to mention, now ridiculously wealthy!