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Ever wonder how Shmuley pumps out those columns on such a regular basis? Probably it’s ghost writers but Muffti prefers to think that he has a template. He presumes it is kind of like the one below – so master it and perhaps you too can be a ____________ (noun) like Boteach himself and perhaps even ______ (verb) celebrities like he does!

Thanks to ________ (fill in your name here, you know who you are!)

American __________ (noun) And The Modern (noun)

There’s an extremely serious _______ (synonym for crisis) that the modern Jewish American woman currently suffers. It is the lack of ___________ (noun) in her life and it’s causing her ___________ (type of mental disorder). Nothing she does when she ________(verb phrase) is good enough for her husband. He is constantly fantasizing about ________ (adjective) (noun) while demanding that she _________(verb) and _________ (verb) which of course she is too _________ (adjective) to do. She has to strive to be more ________ (adjective) and ________ (adjective) all the while competing with ________ (magazine or internet site name) that is telling her husband to be a ________ (name of animal species) and try to get as much _________ (tasteful name for part of female anatomy) as he can.

Today’s obsession with ___________ (trend) is obviously to blame. A recent study shows that _____ % (high number) of people these days who _______ (verb related to the trend) like to _______ (verb) while ___% (smaller number) of those that don’t _______ (same verb related to trend) don’t. This is absolute _______ (synonym for confirmation ) that the holy _______ (noun) has been lost for our lives and must be regained. Without it I _______ (synonym for ‘fear’) for the continued existence of the jewish people and the world.

The world is so full of _______ (noun) that it’s amazing that we ever manage to _______ (verb) at all. When I debated ________ (famous public academic of the day) on the subject of __________ (subject), I realized just how corrupt public ________ (synonym for ethics) had become. I ________ (synonym for ‘won’) the debate but we all _______ (synonym for ‘lost’) because if people were more _________ (adjective), the debate wouldn’t have taken place at all.

The talmud says “_____________” (proverb or homily) and it has ________ (temporal adverb) been more applicable than now. If we don’t _________ (verb), the world will come to a _______ (adjective) end. I know this from personal experience and study at Oxford and my many years of being a ______ (adjective) therapist. Just the other day, __________ (famous celebrity) called me to tell me s/he had learned so much from my teachings. We’re considering doing a reality show together on the ways I _________ (verb) people throughout the world.

About the author

grandmuffti

5 Comments

  • Good job. It definitely points to the fact that we don’t need to hear from SB on every little thing that happens. Dude should take a vacation.

    And where have I heard about Mad Libs versions of Jewish articles before…hmmm…

  • Awesome GM, I swear, I had this same idea the other night and coldn’t quite put it together as you did.

    Yeah what he does he looks at a situation that is not going to change, let’s say rude drivers in traffic, or people talking in Shule.. 🙂

    I personally atribute the rise in Anti semitism in USA, to him.

  • At the very least, he is deffo harming his children with all his publcity sticks. Can you expect someone to want to date and marry into this family?