There’s this guy Noah. He lives in Chicago, he’s single and he’s Jewish. I don’t know what he does for a living but apparently he has had some film experience. Noah wants some changes in his life and foremost amongst these is his desire to find a Jewish girlfriend. Noah then came up with the ingenious idea of creating a YouTube based reality type program called Jew Complete Me whereby he broadcasts his quest – conversations with family, his take on various issues as he prepares for or contemplates his dates and the actual dates that he goes on. The idea is that YouTubers will then vote on who he ought to pursue a relationship with. The video below shows his first date with Sarah. Sarah is a Catholic. They discuss lent, Noah’s epilepsy, the notion of Jewish identity and Sarah’s Israeli family. Noah thought it would be interesting to demonstrate why he needs to date Jewesses – apparently dating non-Jewish women gives him a sick feeling (because he knows it’s not going to work out ultimately, not because non-Jewish women are inherently loathsome – sorry for the misquote!).

Uh… Noah is looking for single women willing to be filmed on dates with him who live in Chicago, are Jewish and in their mid 20s to early 30s. If one of you fits the bill, here’s some advice – make sure your first date with Noah involves a back wax. Seriously dude.

About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

49 Comments

  • “Do you consider fish a vegetable?”
    Weird of him to go out with the girl just to make a point….
    (I really liked his grandfather though!)

  • Looking around the room.

    *nervous glance*

    *checking over shoulder*

    Oh. I guess I’m the single Jewish girl in Chicago. Hmmmm….. Let me watch the video and make sure we haven’t already done this Jdate dance.

  • Yes, CK, you are right. He must wax his shoulders. Other than that, he seems like a nice guy. Maybe, just maybe.

  • This Apollo ideal is silly. Apollo was Greek and you are not Greek.

    It is the brain that needs work, not the skin.

  • He needs to raise the level of his game, even with the Jewish home-field advantage. His body language makes him look like he has a concave chest (note how the woman had to lean over toward him for that toast). He treated the bottle of wine with all the ease of a bomb-disposal expert. (Dude, practice opening bottles at home.)

    And who puts their clothes on like that? Maybe it’s a false alarm, but the sexual-orientation warning bells go off with this guy.

  • I would think that this would be the last site that would make hairy men feel self-conscious about themselves…

  • “Apollo, as god of all the plastic arts, is at the same time the god of prophecy. In accordance with the root meaning of his association with brightness, he is the god of light. He also rules over the beautiful appearance of the inner fantasy world. The higher truth, the perfection of this condition in contrast to the sketchy understanding of our daily reality, as well as the deep consciousness of a healing and helping nature in sleep and dreaming, is the symbolic analogy to the capacity to prophesy the truth, as well as to art in general, through which life is made possible and worth living. But also that delicate line which the dream image may not cross—that line must not be absent from the image of Apollo, that boundary of moderation, that freedom from more ecstatic excitement, that fully calm wisdom of the god of images. The consecration of the beautiful illusion rests on him.”

  • What because Jewish men are hairy? Look, I am not trying to promote a male version of the “Beauty Myth” but while in NY on a lark I got m back waxed. It was awesome. I mean it hurt like hell, but now my back feels great. Now I was never nearly as hairy as Noah but who knows, he mghtenjoy the experience…

  • I think I would like to go just to see the look in the eyes of the people at the waxing place; it would be the cartoon-style dollar sign appearing where their pupils once were as a register sound chings off in the background. The people would see their children’s college fund appearing right before their eyes.

    I wonder if there is a need for Hair Power? Say it loud, I’m hairy and I’m proud?

  • Tom Morrissey, I am not knocking Apollo at all. It is just that we are from another part of town and think differently. I gotta be meeeee … I gotta be meeeeeee … What else can I beeeeee …. ” I’m haireeeeee … so sue me. ” Smooth hairless skin is for women and kritios boys. Not us yidden. Thank G-d.

  • ck waxes his back?? I can’t wait for the post about shaving genitals.

    Tom, orientation struck me as okay and the guy seems at ease with himself. I agree about the wine bottle opening, it was painful to watch. He seems okay, let’s hope he gets some dates.

  • He gets a mulligan for this one, Middle. You live and learn. He can start by not slouching back into his seat.

    Jewish Mother, after carefully considering your libel of the god Apollo, I’ve concluded I can’t sue you. I don’t think Massachusetts courts can assert personal jurisdiction over you (cf. case law under M.G.L. 223A, Section 3), and the $ amount in controversy, while hardly small potatoes, isn’t enough for Federal diversity jurisdiction.

    I’ve heard that metrosexuality is spreading like wildfire in Israel. Middle, they won’t call it the ‘full Brazilian’ much longer if this keeps up.

  • (Middle gives ck grief without, of course, disclosing his own Korean pedicures.)

  • It is not, and I did not.

    “Bird never make nest in bare tree. ” – important movie line.

    Not our birds, anyway.

    A dress shoe on a woman is nice however, but nothing that hurts. (Combat boots do not always cut it.)

  • I am taken and elderly.

    He should be sent to Beyond BT. What does he have to lose.

  • Okay, I finally put my headphones on to watch and listen.

    1. What if you have chemistry with the cameraman and not Noah? I mean, there is a third person on your date.

    2. Yes, sit up straight and learn how to open a bottle of wine. Except if you rarely drink, then you don’t need to know. I’ll give him a pass on that.

    3. Kudos for recognizing that raising kids in two religions gives them no identity.

    4. Poppi = awesome.

  • JM, I’m thinking of operational/tactical advice. Here’s a guy who wants to live out the JM Program, find a nice Jewish girl, etc. And let’s face it– he needs help.

    In the cell phone era, a mid-date consult could be just moments away.

  • Oh please. Waxing was awesome. And it was only $18. Say what you will but the reception so far has been nothing short of fantastic. I don’t know if I’ll do it again any time soon as Jerusalem doesn’t really have places that do that but every man ought to try it at least once if only to better empathize with what women have to go through. And did I mention the pain? Nothing metrosexual about that.

  • Last comment and then I’m going to back to work.

    back waxing = awesome

    back stubble = not awesome

    You gotta find an underground waxer in J’lem, CK.

  • Leah: I hear ya… we’ll see.
    TM: it’s just a pedicure given by a korean woman. Koreans sem to own the vast majority of pedicure/manicure joints

  • Since it’s already been brought up, allow me to interject and state that David’s genitals are sublime.

  • “every man ought to try it at least once if only to better empathize with what women have to go through”

    …treacherous reasoning, this– a slippery slope, if you will…

  • Tom, very funny. I’m happy to outsource pregnancy and child-bearing to the opposite sex.

    ck, in my neck of the woods most manicure/pedicure shop owners are Vietnamese, not Korean.

  • Being a woman does not have to involve any pain, except when bringing new people to the world, which is worth it. And it’s bearable. Other than that, there are always painless alternatives to whatever is painful. No wonder men are scared to talk to women. They think they are sitting around seething plotting, and just waiting to get revenge for the pain. Ridiculous.

    CK you are nuts.

  • All that seething and plotting…. yeah, that’s why I respect women so much. They’re onto us.

    In a perfect world, men would get some sort of credit for all the trials WE have to go through with pregnancy, childbirth, etc. Women deal with a little discomfort, sure, but the emotional trauma men endure is far, far worse.

  • Glad people like the show. Keep watching it will get better. I promise. Please though, can you change your blog where it says “non-Jewish women make him nervous and want to vomit.” That’s absolutely not true. Not Sarah, or most non-jewish Women I’ve gone out with. Don’t project your own feelings on me.

  • Um, maybe I’m missing something but it’s blatantly obvious that this girl Sarah is wearing a necklace that says “Sarah” in hebrew. Freeze the frame with 8 seconds left.

    Maybe she’s an “actress” in the show and not just in real life?

  • I take back everything I wrote that gave Noah et al. a hard time (except Middle).

  • Noah’s a fellow thin dude, and as he demonstrates, it’s pretty cool how a thin guy can take a buttoned shirt on and off without ever having to touch the buttons.

  • Tom Morrissey, I said that perception was ridiculous. We are not in pain. Except in active labor. That isn’t every day.

  • No one will respond to my modest proposal at #21?

    Noah, Jewish Mother. Jewish Mother, Noah.

  • Post 21, Noah should chill, get to shul(s), decide what rabbi he thinks well of, and ask him for some help with this. This voted-off-the-island thing is cute for a laugh, but not really the way to a cooking-scented home with children in it who look like you.

  • Overall, a very entertaining and thought provoking YouTube series. He gets an A for for creativity and the editing was well done.

    But really, let’s just cut to the chase…the epilepsy medicine prevents seizures but does it affect his sexual performance? That could be a big deal breaker for many women (I would never be so shallow) and is not as easily fixable as the back hair.

    He’s a nice guy and a great catch for the right girl.

    Poppy needs his own reality show…he’s adorable.

    P.S. Stay away from Korean pedicure places, you can pick up more fungui and STD’s there than at a brothel. If you want a pedicure, make sure its at a place that uses disposable foot tubs that do not have a drain or at the very least, that they bleach out the drain and autoclave the instruments in front of you.
    This P.S. has been brought to you by Helpful Hints from Chutzpah.

  • Leah,

    NO identity? A bit of an overly strong statement on racial purity or the word Michael taught me which I love to use : “endogamy”, don’t you think?

    A person’s individual identity is made up of a blend of the total cultural history of each of his or her parents, and each person’s is totally unique, even amongst siblings. Then, as the individual grows, they add to their identity with the results of their life experiences.

    I recently became “Super Black Chutzpah” as a result of an Evil Stepmother landing in my children’s Father’s place from Outerspace. Can’t blame that identity change on my parents.

  • Thanks Leah for writing the truth. Raising children in two different faiths is absolutely detrimental to them. I’ve met many confused offspring of intermarriages who wished their parents would have raised them in one faith only.
    Ultimately in the end most of them don’t pursue Judaism and this means less and less Jewish people as time goes by.
    I do believe that Sarah is more Jewish than most of the “Jews” in L.A. Intermarriage has created a monster, or I should say monsters. There are now thousands of half-Jewish Gentiles, who call themselves Jews, and celebrate Christmas, Easter!
    They have no connection to Judaism and try too hard to be impartial about Israel, Ari Sandel ring a bell?
    It’s like a Jewish horror movie and it will get worse before it gets better or there are only Orthodox Jews left.

  • A world where only Orthodox Jews are left sounds like a pretty bad comedy to me: who would be the Shabbos goys? Who would be the hookers and the cleaning ladies? Who would be do the illegal construction and renovations on the homes? Firefighters/Soldiers? Not when they are all sitting in Yeshiva….

  • Whoa.

    In a hasty review of a dating video, I used a loaded word. I wasn’t trying to start a debate about identity. I was just trying to decide if it was a date I wanted to go on.

    Perhaps I’ll delve into the question of identity on my own blog…

    SBC, you are right, every person has an identity and that identity is a cumulative thing. Other than that, I’m going to step out of the thread for now.

  • Fair enough Leah. I shall take off the SBC costume for now and resume my daily role as a mother and aspiring film writer.

    Although I prefer the comedy genre, I’m thinkin’ slasher/horror/sci-fi….the title
    “The half-Jewish Gentiles attack L.A.”

    AAAAAGGGHHHH!!!

  • More nudity please. I mean of the participants, we’ve already seen your hairy back.

    Also, it’s kinda boring to watch you break up the date where virtually nothing is happening with commentary about the date where you really say nothing.

    Give us some substance. If “espilepsy” girl can’t give us substance, maybe you can manufacture situations. You know, like having her jealous NRA member, wrestling pro, ex-boyfriend showing up at your date and joining your table. Come on Noah, more ooomph!

  • Shlomi, was it really necessary to comment 3 times? We deleted the other 2 – hope you don’t mind. As for that Jewcy article? It was meant to be funny, but really? It isn’t. It’s just mean. And not just to Noah – it’s kind of insulting to all Jews. Lame-o-ramma.

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