The wicked shall be judged, and those who were righteous before God shall be glorified. The final judgment is upon us and those who are evil shall be consigned to eternal torment in the fires of Gehenom. Given all the turmoil associated with the apocalypse, any signs of its pending arrival are of concern to me since Gehenom, or the Ben-Hinnom Valley commonly understood as Jewish hell, is right around the corner from where I live. When the shit hits the fan, it’ll be in my back yard – frankly, it scares the bejeezus out of me and I want to prepare.

Well, looks like I had better start repenting and stocking up on water, hazmat suits and iodine pills because the beast is amongst us and it’s name is… Celine Dion. How else does one explain the abomination below – Dion singing a cover of AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long?

As it was written in the Book of Jeremiah 19:2-3:

19:2. And you shall go out to the Ben-Hinnom Valley which is at the entrance of the Harsith Gate, and you shall call there the words that I will speak to you. 19:3. And you shall say; Hearken to the word of the Lord, O kings of Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem; so said the Lord of Hosts, the God of Israel; Behold I am bringing evil upon this place, which whoever hears, his ears will tingle.

וְיָצָאתָ אֶל-גֵּיא בֶן-הִנֹּם אֲשֶׁר פֶּתַח שַׁעַר החרסות (הַחַרְסִית) וְקָרָאתָ שָּׁם אֶת-הַדְּבָרִים אֲשֶׁר-אֲדַבֵּר אֵלֶיךָ: וְאָמַרְתָּ שִׁמְעוּ דְבַר-×”’ מַלְכֵי יְהוּדָה וְיֹשְׁבֵי יְרוּשָׁלִָם ×›Ö¹Ö¼×”-אָמַר ×”’ צְבָאוֹת אֱלֹהֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל ×”Ö´× Ö°× Ö´×™ מֵבִיא רָעָה עַל-הַמָּקוֹם ×”Ö·×–Ö¶Ö¼×” אֲשֶׁר כָּל-שֹׁמְעָהּ, תִּצַּלְנָה אָזְנָיו

Yeah. The blood dripping from my ear drums does kinda make me tingle. My neshama hurts. Bad. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

2 Comments

  • The Celine Dion version of this song terrifies me. From the moment I first heard it during a VH1 Divas Live show, I was frightened. Forgive me for not listening to the clip…

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