lezbollah.jpg Facebook users have recently announced a peace plan that promises to be more effective than Oslo, a friendship between Rabin and Arafat, or a Camp David summit has ever been. In its group description, Lezbollah says, “This conflict between Israel and Hezbollah has to stop, but how can you convince two militaristic societies bent on each other’s destruction to stop fighting? Lesbians.” The group specifically wants hot women who are Jews, Israelis, Palestinians, and Arabs to hook up and send in pictures and videos in the hopes of inspiring peace in the Middle East.

While I obviously support peace efforts initiated on both sides, this will never work because women have too many feelings. Of course, it would be wonderful and peaceful at first: long nights spent listening to Ani DiFranco and the Indigo Girls while sharing plates of hummus and chilled white wine would soon lead to one getting too attached. All their friends (or in this case, the Arab League and the United States) would have to get involved in the drama. As soon as they break up, the dump-ee will be so angry at the dump-er that she will no longer want to make peace and will, in fact, want to get rid of the other side as soon as possible. Pocket Rockets will soon be replaced by Katyusha rockets and we’ll be back to square one.

I admire facebook users for trying to solve the Middle East crisis (although at this point, who hasn’t?). I think though, that Lezbollah might be more effective if they could convince Hezbollah leader Nasrallah to become a Lesbian Identified Male. He might finally become more in touch with his feelings. Nasrallah can open a candle shop in Southampton and share an apartment with Olmert who will be teaching at Smith. Only then can real peace be achieved.

p.s. Hello Jewlicious! I’m quite happy to be blogging, but I must apologize because I won’t always post about Lesbian peace initiatives. Sorry. I do promise to be as entertaining as possible.

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spawnof6

15 Comments

  • You totally know that Nasrallah loves some hot all girl-on-girl action. And you totally know that a guy with that much power pretty much has live-action porn at his fingertips whenever he wants.

  • yes, i don’t know who you are, but i dig your style….. make sure to keep us updated….. i mean hot lesbians is awesome, but israeli/arab(or persian) girl on girl action……

    WOW

  • You know why it will never work? Because while we Jews seem to have no problem assimilating, encouraging and legitimizing sacreligious practices that contradict our traditions, the other side does not. In fact, part of the Hamas rise to power is a rebellion against the secular-oriented elitist PLO/Fatah. ‘We’ think that smooching homos can promote peace, the other side would hunt them down for dishonouring the family.

    America has a good logical strategy in trying to secularize, Americanize, and consumerize the whole world, but the fact is that history and traditions are much more powerful than hedonism.

  • Someday, let’s hope, Israelis will enjoy the kind of special place in Arab hearts that straight men reserve for lesbians.

  • i read the post again josh, no where did it say anything about assimilation or lacking a sense of humor but you did both w/ your post. my post was relevant b/c you are unable to have fun…. and someone who is unable to have fun in my opinion is a pussy. i don’t like assimilation, i agree with you whole heartedly, but this was not the proper post to talk about it. lighten up a bit yes?

  • Actually Jon, there’s nothing humorous or fun about two women kissing.

    Now threesomes, on the other hand. That’s fun stuff!! And it would bring so many more people into the peace process. Like, a third more. But again, that would never work because let’s say you have an Arab and an Israeli – so who’s the third gonna be? I’d suggest a Norwegian. They’re always trying to promote world peace. Or Mobius maybe. He swings both ways. I mean as far as Arab-Israeli politics of course.

  • Hey, how can you say that I don’t have a sense of humour? You don’t even know me. middle knows I can have a laugh, maybe ck too.

    BTW, you must have missed my humour too.

    Shabbat shalom 🙂

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