Facebook users have recently announced a peace plan that promises to be more effective than Oslo, a friendship between Rabin and Arafat, or a Camp David summit has ever been. In its group description, Lezbollah says, “This conflict between Israel and Hezbollah has to stop, but how can you convince two militaristic societies bent on each other’s destruction to stop fighting? Lesbians.” The group specifically wants hot women who are Jews, Israelis, Palestinians, and Arabs to hook up and send in pictures and videos in the hopes of inspiring peace in the Middle East.
While I obviously support peace efforts initiated on both sides, this will never work because women have too many feelings. Of course, it would be wonderful and peaceful at first: long nights spent listening to Ani DiFranco and the Indigo Girls while sharing plates of hummus and chilled white wine would soon lead to one getting too attached. All their friends (or in this case, the Arab League and the United States) would have to get involved in the drama. As soon as they break up, the dump-ee will be so angry at the dump-er that she will no longer want to make peace and will, in fact, want to get rid of the other side as soon as possible. Pocket Rockets will soon be replaced by Katyusha rockets and we’ll be back to square one.
I admire facebook users for trying to solve the Middle East crisis (although at this point, who hasn’t?). I think though, that Lezbollah might be more effective if they could convince Hezbollah leader Nasrallah to become a Lesbian Identified Male. He might finally become more in touch with his feelings. Nasrallah can open a candle shop in Southampton and share an apartment with Olmert who will be teaching at Smith. Only then can real peace be achieved.
p.s. Hello Jewlicious! I’m quite happy to be blogging, but I must apologize because I won’t always post about Lesbian peace initiatives. Sorry. I do promise to be as entertaining as possible.