I know, I know. It seems like we’ve all forgotten how to write, what with Jewlicious being rotten with video content, most of which isn’t ours. I mean, we have Sudanese refugees being refused entry into Israel (shades of the SS St. Louis!), Abe Foxman is pissing off Jewcy and the Armenians who in turn are pissing off David Kelsey and what do we have to say? Nothing! No self-righteous indignation. No outrage. Nothing. All we have are videos. We suck.

In keeping with that theme, here’s a couple of clips for your entertainment or edification or whatever it is you came here for. First up is “The Wedding Bout” a very well shot short film that demonstrates the difficulties that come up when a Jewish and an Italian family deal with the impending nuptials of their children. Some choice lines from the film:

“All I know is that if I’m paying for this wedding, someone better be stepping on a glass and singing Havah Nagilah!”
“Did you see the ring? Cubic Zirconia!”
“No way my Grandkid’s gonna miss out on Santa Claus!”
“Santa Claus can kiss my dreidel spinning ass!”
“Nobody’s touching my grandson’s dingle.”

The couple plan on raising any children they might have without any religion, allowing them to choose when the time comes. Clearly neither family is substantially religious and their opposition to the marriage seems to be more about xenophobia, tribalism and narrow mindedness than it is about anything serious. But you figure it out. Here’s the clip:

My favorite part was when the Jewish bride went down for the count and her family helped revive her by singing Havah Nagillah. Badly. They clearly didn’t know the words, their pronunciation or their meaning. Oy!

And then there’s Made: I Want to Be a Hipster. It’s the story of Matt – a nice Jewish boy from New Jersey who moves to the Lower East Side. Wanting desperately to fit in, he enlists the assistance of local hipsters to transform him from a zero to a hipster hero. His parents are shocked and think he might be going homo, his sister is aghast as she declares “You’re going to look like a freak. You’re really going to fit in with the Shullmans, and the Wieners, and the Cohens?” Then Matt (later renamed Matthieu) asks “When? When will I have to fit in with them?” to which his sister responds “Yom Kippur dinner, ok? Rosh Hashana dinner, Hannukah dinner with all the Jews…” Wow. You get to have Yom Kippur dinner in Jersey?? Dang. I am in the wrong denomination. “OK, I’m sorry, we sinned! Have mercy on us!! Let’s Eat!” Judaism plays a small role in the rest of the film as Matthieu meets his coach near Katz’s Deli and Yonah Schimmel’s House o’ Giant Knishes. Also Karen Ruttner of DJing duo the Tarts of Pleasure greets Matthieu with a “Happy Hannukah!” when they first meet to for DJ lessons, and later at hipster hangout “The Annex” where Matt gets his first gig, a beaming Ruttner is wearing a Magen David. This movie, like this post, is ridiculous. Unlike this post, it’s funny. Click here to see this 5 part movie in its entirety. Oh, and while Matt’s coach wears a Keffiyeh, Matt himself never does. Phew.

Finally there’s Heil Honey I’m Home, parts 1 and 2 – a sitcom featuring Hitler and Eva Braun and their whacky Jewish neighbors. Watch hilarity ensue as Neville Chamberlain comes for dinner. Why is this here? Because ridiculing Hitler is always Jewlicious.

So grab a box or two of Manischewitz Tam Tams (Original, Onion, Garlic or Everything flavor – don’t bother with unsalted, that’s for geriatrics), a 6-pack of Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry Cola and your fave Hebrew Honey and enjoy. Or not.

About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

14 Comments

  • Don’t apologize for posting clips–they can be fun. But whoa, those are some mighty unconvincing Italians there. And is it just me, or does it seem that even a Mr. White Bread from Iowa could have rehashed a bunch of TV stereotypes and put this together? It didn’t feel like there was real insight, nothing subtle, some hackneyed phrases and attitudes used as cultural shortcuts to anchor the “story”. I don’t like to criticize, because I think people should be creative and make the world a better place 🙂 but that’s the reaction I had. (I don’t even know that people would expend all this energy about intermarriage anymore–people seem to just shrug it off.)

    On a similar note, I’m off to see David and Layla tonight. I am very interested in how realistic they can make it seem for a NY Jew to be converting to Islam for his bride…

    I kinda like those conversion stories *wink*

  • Sarah: Do they have hipsters in Germany? Are they called Gunther or Tomasz? If I were a German hipster ‘d want a really provocative hipster name. Something like… Yankele

    🙂

  • Hmmmm, there are some people in Berlin, Düsseldorf and Munich that could be called hipsters for that is what they aim to be (and they generally are pretty full of themselves). In Cologne, the most metropolitan and open-minded city over here (which seriously never sleeps), you can find people in similar attire but those generally are way more open-minded. The names generally reflect what kind of first names were in fashion when they wear born, e.g. Scandinavian (Torben, Malte, Niklas, Mika,…), Russian (Nadyeshda, Boris,…) etc. We don’t have Kabbala-water here (yet?), but with a name like Yankele, Shlomo etc. you could be right ahead of fashion.

  • That’s it! Penelope? Book me a flight to Düsseldorf schnell!! I’m gonna be a German hipster!

  • Oh you Jews. You’re the same everywhere!

    Oh wait. Was that comment actually relevant to this post? Are Jews the same everywhere? Is there something substantive that manifests itself on a daily basis that makes us distinctive regardless of our geographical location?

    As for German hipsterdom, I am already packing all my Morissey, Cure and Ladytron CDs! I am also gonna throw in some YidCore, Golem, Gogol Bordello, missFlag and Carsitters. Düsseldorf won’t know what hit it! Heh…

  • Gogol Bordello was on Austrian music TV (go TV) a couple of weeks ago. I’ll try to gather you a list of German “hipster” bands.

  • Essen is a hip town. Not kidding. Even they say so. But hip more in that New Order kind of way. (At least a decade ago.) Make sure you take the short drive up there after you hit Dusseldorf. And it’s sister city is Tel Aviv.

  • My first NY hipster encounter was when I was seeking a sublet in Brooklyn for the summer. I’d eventually found a place in Willi that sounded ok. Three days prior to my arrival, the guy I was going to get the sublet from emailed he’d rather I’d find a different place. He made me understand his roommate was afraid of a stranger in the apartment, particularly since I’d stated that in return for covering his share of the rent, I was expecting to have access to his share of the apartment, too. I then found something else – and ended up in a house that I’ve seen in three hiphop videos since.

  • There are actually Jews who care about intermarriage because we don’t want Jews to become extinct. You obviously don’t care if that happens since you’re probably not a Jew. You’re an idiot!

  • I may be an idiot but I still say Essen was a cool town.

    On a related note, about seven years traipsing around East Berlin I came across an old historic Synagogue in a decidedly Jewish neighborhood. In my travels through Europe and Scandanavia I always made a point of visiting the city’s Synagogue… this one, being in East Berlin at a time when the post-wall artistic and cultural resurgence was really starting to ramp up, was a special treat. I went into a nearby Jewish restaurant, found a young man who spoke English and started asking him questions about the Shul and if it were possible to enter. I was met with the typical and justifiable distrust and showed him my passport. Satisfied (with the name) he explained the Synagogue was only opened for High Holiday services.

    After reading about the newly restored Synagogue in East Berlin I couldn’t help but remember that and wonder if it was the same place. I do remember it being just a few streets from a huge squatters’ community/park.

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