I know, I know. It seems like we’ve all forgotten how to write, what with Jewlicious being rotten with video content, most of which isn’t ours. I mean, we have Sudanese refugees being refused entry into Israel (shades of the SS St. Louis!), Abe Foxman is pissing off Jewcy and the Armenians who in turn are pissing off David Kelsey and what do we have to say? Nothing! No self-righteous indignation. No outrage. Nothing. All we have are videos. We suck.

In keeping with that theme, here’s a couple of clips for your entertainment or edification or whatever it is you came here for. First up is “The Wedding Bout” a very well shot short film that demonstrates the difficulties that come up when a Jewish and an Italian family deal with the impending nuptials of their children. Some choice lines from the film:

“All I know is that if I’m paying for this wedding, someone better be stepping on a glass and singing Havah Nagilah!”
“Did you see the ring? Cubic Zirconia!”
“No way my Grandkid’s gonna miss out on Santa Claus!”
“Santa Claus can kiss my dreidel spinning ass!”
“Nobody’s touching my grandson’s dingle.”

The couple plan on raising any children they might have without any religion, allowing them to choose when the time comes. Clearly neither family is substantially religious and their opposition to the marriage seems to be more about xenophobia, tribalism and narrow mindedness than it is about anything serious. But you figure it out. Here’s the clip:

My favorite part was when the Jewish bride went down for the count and her family helped revive her by singing Havah Nagillah. Badly. They clearly didn’t know the words, their pronunciation or their meaning. Oy!

And then there’s Made: I Want to Be a Hipster. It’s the story of Matt – a nice Jewish boy from New Jersey who moves to the Lower East Side. Wanting desperately to fit in, he enlists the assistance of local hipsters to transform him from a zero to a hipster hero. His parents are shocked and think he might be going homo, his sister is aghast as she declares “You’re going to look like a freak. You’re really going to fit in with the Shullmans, and the Wieners, and the Cohens?” Then Matt (later renamed Matthieu) asks “When? When will I have to fit in with them?” to which his sister responds “Yom Kippur dinner, ok? Rosh Hashana dinner, Hannukah dinner with all the Jews…” Wow. You get to have Yom Kippur dinner in Jersey?? Dang. I am in the wrong denomination. “OK, I’m sorry, we sinned! Have mercy on us!! Let’s Eat!” Judaism plays a small role in the rest of the film as Matthieu meets his coach near Katz’s Deli and Yonah Schimmel’s House o’ Giant Knishes. Also Karen Ruttner of DJing duo the Tarts of Pleasure greets Matthieu with a “Happy Hannukah!” when they first meet to for DJ lessons, and later at hipster hangout “The Annex” where Matt gets his first gig, a beaming Ruttner is wearing a Magen David. This movie, like this post, is ridiculous. Unlike this post, it’s funny. Click here to see this 5 part movie in its entirety. Oh, and while Matt’s coach wears a Keffiyeh, Matt himself never does. Phew.

Finally there’s Heil Honey I’m Home, parts 1 and 2 – a sitcom featuring Hitler and Eva Braun and their whacky Jewish neighbors. Watch hilarity ensue as Neville Chamberlain comes for dinner. Why is this here? Because ridiculing Hitler is always Jewlicious.

So grab a box or two of Manischewitz Tam Tams (Original, Onion, Garlic or Everything flavor – don’t bother with unsalted, that’s for geriatrics), a 6-pack of Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry Cola and your fave Hebrew Honey and enjoy. Or not.

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About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

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