Live-Blogging the Eurovision

All timestamps are approximates, CET.

Five more minutes to go. One of my brothers and I are going to watch, snack, and comment.

9:00pm: artsy, retro trailer. Mentioning of “Waterloo” by ABBA. My brother announces his intention of fleeing.

9:03pm: more family members join. Haven’t you got anything better to do?

9:04pm: Alexander Rybak, Fairytale. Have I aged another year already?

9:08pm: wondering – Do the viewers need those voting instructions? Are there any Eurovision virgins?

9:10pm: Azerbaidjan’s first – and one of the likely winners according to bookmakers.

9:11pm: In that pose she looks like Mariah Carey. Doesn’t sound like it though.

9:14pm: Spain. Sung in Spanish. Looks like Mika. The background dancers make me think of French TV commercial ads. *dislike* Haha, someone from the audience entered the stage and danced along. Priceless.

9:18pm: Norway. Awwwwwww… Resolution: I’ll develop a Norwegian fetish.

9:22pm: Billy Idol with a fiddle. Mullets. I feel like in the 1980s. This one has got European gay bar potential.

9:26pm: Welsh lad singing for Cyprus. Easy listening. Did I mention I started learning Welsh? I can now say “yellow socks”, “red dress”, “black cat” in Welsh. The things I do for jewlicious.eu.

9:29pm: Bosnia Herzegovina. I like that red jacket.

9:33pm: Belgium! Belgium! Belgium! I’ll get a balcony if you’ll come here and sing for me. 🙂

9:38pm: Serbia. Balkan pop goes Emil i Lönneberga.

9:41pm: 120,000,000 viewers. Mass mind control or world peace?

9:42pm: Belarus. I’m partial to contestants singing in their native languages. Gaaaaaaah! – Did the background singers just pop up butterfly wings? They did.

9:46pm: Ireland. I long for The Pogues. This singer looks sober.

9:50pm: Greece. Man, you guys mess up our currency, but you do know danceable ethno pop.

9:54pm: England. Not too catchy, I’m afraid.

10:00pm: Georgia. Yes, that’s a country in Europe.

10:04pm: Turkey. Orientally influenced goth rock. But why is there a Power Ranger in the background?

10:07pm: Albania. Now I know what Kylie Minogue will perform like in sixty years from now.

10:12pm: Iceland. Je ne sais quoi. But I do! Definite European gay bar potential.

10:16pm: Ukraine. “Zee ant ees rrreeeeleee neeerrr.” No kidding?

10:20pm: France! I’m dancing! That song will be a big seller this summer.

10:23pm: Romania. Emma Peel? Mr Bean?

10:27pm: Russia. Melancholic. Russian. Even snow.

[10:32pm – 10:46pm: bad computer crash. Armenia. Germany. Portugal. Israel.
I won’t comment on Armenia lest someone with little taste will call me misogynistic.
Israel has been the strongest vocally so far.]

10:50pm: Denmark. If you go to Denmark, get GaJol licorice. I once opted for a later connecting flight from Copenhagen to Frankfurt just to have time to get GaJol. It’s that good. This song, however, is not.

10:53pm: Spain again. Because of that “interruption” earlier. Ungrateful bunch. 🙂

11:06pm: waiting for the voting period to end. I’m coming up with plans for the next Eurovision Song Contest in the meantime.

11:08pm: Another re-run of snippets from each candidate’s performance. I still feel sorry for that British kid.

11:10pm: Again lots of pseudo-soul ladies. This year’s fashion is an overabundance of fiddlers.

11:11pm: voting ends. Now the masses must be entertained. A flashmob?

11:19pm: For sure. A flashmob danced Europewide. We’ve evolved.

11:24pm: result call-per-country starts.

11:26pm: Twice 12 points for Denmark so far?

11:29pm: first points for Israel from Albania.

11:33pm: another point for Israel from Bosnia’Herzegovina.

[From here on, I’ve had trouble connecting to Jewlicious.]