It turns out there were ten missing commandments.
Pretty much everyone has seen the Mel Brroks movie “History of the World Part I,” or at least has heard of the scene where Brooks plays Moses coming down from Mt Sinai with the Ten Commandments. Only in Brooks’ version, Moses holds three tablets instead of just two and says he has brough fifteen commandments to the people.
Well, Brooks drops one tablet which breaks and immediately corrects himself saying, “I bring you fifteen… ten, ten commandments.”
But what you probably didn’t know is that there really were extra tablets, two more in fact.
Yes, that’s right! There were four tablets and a total of 20 commandments. But the extra ten commandments were lost. That is until now. You see, it turns out that these extra commandments were included among the Dead Sea Scrolls as well as the documents uncovered in the famed Cairo Geniza back in the Nineteenth Century.
Unfortunately, a combination of bureaucratic red tape and strong opposition from certain religious authorities and nations (I won’t say who exactly but the Israeli government does have a secret understanding with the Vatican) kept the other ten commandments from being revealed. Until now, that is.
(I promise you I am not making this up.)
Interestingly, these extra commandments are all related to how people should behave once they live in Israel.
The 11th Commandment: Though Shall not cut in line.
The 12th Commandment: Though Shall not sell brown bread in any form and call it whole wheat when its so obviously made from white flour and food coloring.
The 13th Commandment: Though Shall not sell meat as fresh that has clearly been frozen and defrosted.
The 14th Commandment: Though Shall not hogg seats on a bus or at a café/restaurant by claiming that you are waiting for someone when everyone knows that you are not and just want a place to put you bag other than on the floor or just don’t want someone sitting next to you.
The 15th Commandment: Though Shall not speak loudly on the phone on a bus and act like you are in your own living room.
The 16th Commandment: Beggars shall not bother people sitting at sidewalk café tables.
The 17th Commandment: Though Shall not ride electric vehicles on sidewalks, in the Shuk, etc., which is already illegal but never enforced by the police.
The 18th Commandment: Thou shall not park motorcycles in the middle of the sidewalk, nor ride your motorcycle up onto the sidewalk before parking.
The 19th Commandment: If you ignore a pedestrian crosswalk while driving and stop short just before running someone over, thou shall not blame the pedestrian for it.
The 20th Commandment: Thou shalt wait until, after landing, the airplane comes to a full stop and the captain turns off the seatbelt signs before you stand up.
