That’s pain. Not to be confused with a certain VP candidate. But you know what: the two seem fairly close in description. One is a hockey mom/pitbull who wears lipstick, the other is a distressing sensation. But enough politik for one week. Mark it zero, mark it somewhere, for Tuesday brings the release of The Big Lebowski: 10th year Anniversary Edition. I have the 4 year edition which is holding up just fine, and unless the first 1,000 DVDs come with special brownies, don’t expect me to make a purchase so swiftly. But 10 years! 10 years since they peed on your fucking rug, 10 years of Shomer fucking Shabbos, and an equal number of Vodka and Kahlua handles for the White Russians to make the 257th viewing more bearable. The film that inspired fests, beverages, and another trophy for your Coen Brothers case, is finally coming home. Again.
I’m in the midst of finals and in need of some serious laughing medicine. You’ve got some options here, Achievers:
What’s your favorite scene from the film?
Who’s your favorite character and why?
- Top 5 Cafes in the San Fernando Valley - 3/25/2009
- A Time for Peace, and a Time for War - 1/3/2009
- Welcome to Robot Rock - 12/17/2008
Nobody f*#ks with da Jesus!
DONNY
They posted the next round of the
tournament–
WALTER
Donny, shut the f–when do we play?
DONNY
This Saturday. Quintana and–
WALTER
Saturday! Well they’ll have to
reschedule.
DUDE
Walter, what’m I gonna tell Lebowski?
WALTER
I told that fuck down at the league
office– who’s in charge of
scheduling?
DUDE
Walter–
DONNY
Burkhalter.
WALTER
I told that kraut a fucking thousand
times I don’t roll on shabbas.
DONNY
It’s already posted.
WALTER
WELL THEY CAN FUCKING UN-POST IT!
DUDE
Who gives a shit, Walter? What about
that poor woman? What do we tell–
WALTER
C’mon Dude, eventually she’ll get
sick of her little game and, you
know, wander back–
DONNY
How come you don’t roll on Saturday,
Walter?
WALTER
I’m shomer shabbas.
DONNY
What’s that, Walter?
DUDE
Yeah, and in the meantime what do I
tell Lebowski?
WALTER
Saturday is shabbas. Jewish day of
rest. Means I don’t work, I don’t
drive a car, I don’t fucking ride in
a car, I don’t handle money, I don’t
turn on the oven, and I sure as shit
don’t fucking roll!
DONNY
Sheesh.
DUDE
Walter, how–
WALTER
Shomer shabbas.
The Dude gets to his feet with the portable phone.
DUDE
That’s it. I’m out of here.
WALTER
For Christ’s sake, Dude.
hey ck, what is up with the horizontal banners? this site is starting to look like a Pennysaver mailer. Oh wait, you live in Israel. They don’t have coupons there.
Maude: Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: ‘Scuse me?
Maude: Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?
The Dude: I was talking about my rug.
Maude: You’re not interested in sex?
The Dude: You mean coitus?
Shomer Shabbos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chutzpah-
(On screen) I’m here to fix the cable.
-You can guess what happens next Jeffrey.
-“He fixes the cable?”
Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax.. you’re g-d damned right I don’t roll on Shabbos! Shomer Shabbos Dude.
Please allow me the honor of being the first one to vote for Maude. “The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina”.
that movie is something else, i finally scored a version w/ hebrew subtitles, now looking for one which is dubbed w/ hebrew
I might have to get the 10th anniversary, it would be nice to put over the fireplace although my efficiency apartment hasn’t one to speak of
You see what happens Larry? You see what happens?!
Auto Circus Cop: [the Dude asks the Auto Circus Cop if there are any leads on who stole his beater car] Leads, yeah, sure. I’ll just check with the boys down at the crime lab, they’ve got four more detectives working on the case. They got us working in shifts!
[laughs]
Auto Circus Cop: Leads!
[laughs as he walks away]
Auto Circus Cop: Leads…