what is the line between practicality and love? if we’re practical then the conclusion is “lets just be friends.” if we’re in love then the conclusion is “love conquers all and we can overcome anything together.” why does love overwhelm us like this? we go back and forth between extremes. want to know something crazy? we’re still just friends. she’s completely terrified to call me a boyfriend or a lover. if she does, she’ll have to think of me in terms that she’s sure will lead to our break-up. she seems so sure that if we deal with important life-long issues of settling down, we’ll have no choice but to separate. i’m confidant that’s bogus but how do i convey that?

to her, religion is a new, shiny shoe to be respected and polished every night. my religion is much more private, knowing, comfortable. when i choose to be more observant in the future as i have been in the past (in fact, as i’ve been the majority of my life) it wont’ be a big deal, it won’t be strange or distant. i will never be able to share with her the feeling of being newly religious, even when i become more observant. and i’ll never be the one dragging her to be more religious. but her big goal – being a better Jew – can be fulfilled with me. how do i show her that when she rejects using love as a basis for consideration (love disappears, love skews, love is “just a feeling”)???

About the author


struggling. emotional. help.


  • She can tell you that she loves you but she can’t call you her boyfriend? Something is a bit off with that. Her inability to commit may have something to do with the fact that you probably aren’t the kind of man she envisions herself being with long term. That’s a bad place to be because even if she loves you some part of her doesn’t think that you are good enough to be her man. Not to make you depressed or anything, but really, what does her love mean if she herself defines it as a fleeting emotion?

  • you are in love with someone after TWO WEEKS? how old are you? 16?