I’m sure you all know someone like my friend, Dr. D. He’s been a doctor for as long as I can remember, he is now in his early 60s, is very gentle and kind to his patients, is generally a warm and sweet man, has a doting wife who has become used to having a husband who works hard and sometimes needs to leave the house in the middle of the night, supports numerous charities, sits on the local UJF board, travels to Israel regularly,is especially proud of that time he volunteered on the IDF base, has daughters who are marrying the sons of (Conservative) rabbis, etc., etc….
So anyway, if you know someone like this, surely you are also getting, as I am, jokes by email from said mensch. Here’s today’s:
In a large Florida City, the rabbi developed quite a reputation for his sermons; so much so that everyone who was Jewish in the community came every Shabbat.
Unfortunately, one weekend a member had to visit Long Island for his nephew’s bar mitzvah, but he didn’t want to miss the rabbi’s sermon. So he decided to hire a Shabbat goy to sit in the congregation and tape the sermon so he could listen to it when he returned.
Other congregants saw what was going on, and they also decided to hire Shabbat goys to tape the sermon so they could play golf instead of going to shul.
Within a few weeks time there were 500 gentiles sitting in shul taping the rabbi. The rabbi got wise to this. The following Shabbat he, too, hired a Shabbat goy who brought a tape recorder to play his prerecorded sermon to the 500 gentiles in the congregation who dutifully recorded his words on their machines…
… Marking the first incidence in history of artificial insermonation.