It’s both a good day and a bad day for little Yigal Amir, currently serving a life sentence in a maximum security pen for a minor disturbance of the peace conviction, something about an illegal weapon or making noise or assassinating the prime minister of Israel. Some time ago, as faithful Jewlicious readers will recall, Yigal got married by proxy to the amusingly named Larissa Trimbobler, who stated recently about their epic courtship, “We spoke for hours on the phone until we fell in love and could not live without each other.”
Fortunately for our lovebirds, as of today the Israeli Rabbinate has officially recognized their wedding, despite it being conducted by a messenger with Amir’s father doing the fancy stuff under the chupah in his stead (let’s hope that he wasn’t called upon to stand in for further duties post-chupah, if you know what I mean).
Officials of the Israeli Prison Authority, who have been for the last several months steadfastly cockblocking the randy groom by limiting his visits with the blushing bride and refusing to give them unmonitored alone time, are not amused.
They had hoped that the marriage would reinforce their fight against the Israel Prisons Authority, which has rejected the pair’s request to spend time alone behind prison walls.
However, the Authority has ruled that Amir does not have the right to spend time alone with his wife, since â€œhe still holds a murderous and dangerous ideology.â€
Apparently Amir has shown no regret for his murder, and prison officials are worried his bad attitude and itchy trigger finger are genetic, and that the last thing Israel needs what with disengagement is a little Yigal Amir running around under the auspices of a woman whose last name is Trimbobler. And, to be fair, is a woman unhinged enough to fall in love with and marry someone who gunned down an innocent man the kind you would want raising a kid? Probably not.
For Yigal’s part, he launched into a hunger strike upon learning of the Authority’s continued refusal of his oh-so-deserved nookie. He’s now on his 13th day. Said Larissa:
“This abuse must stop. Public pressure is now growing, and I have a received a supportive letter signed by 180 respectable figures who want to defend my rights. It began in the Russian sector, and has spread all over the country. We are talking about life or death. Yigal is going all the way here. The level of public pressure shows that people understand that we cannot continue to be abused like this.”
And all over the country, Israelis shed a tear for poor Larissa and her lack of conjugal rights with her cuddly hubby.
I call for Jewlicious readers to support Yigal’s hunger strike. Let’s see if, with our encouragement, we can get him to starve himself for, oh, the next three or four months. We only have the greater good of the Jewish people in mind.
Yigal and Larissa: going all the way to go all the way!