Scrumpjewlicious!Faithful Jewlicious readers and literate hipsters know of Kristina Grish, groupie of he-Jews who pens the Fresh Ink column featured in Zink magazine. Her most recent literary endeavour is a how-to-date-Jewish-men guide aptly titled “Boy Vey! The Shiksa’s Guide for Dating Jewish Men.” Muffti is sad to report that its publication has not resulted in a general increase in the aptitude with which Shikseh’s pursue Muffti. [Not that he’s complaining!]

In any case, Ha’aretz interviewed Grish recently and she was kind enough to share some insights. The reparté is not especially witty on account of rather boring, predicatable questions. (i.e. ‘How did you get the idea of writing the book?”, “Describe the pressure on a non-Jewish woman when she has to face a Jewish family.”) Nonetheless, there are a few choice moments. Check it out if you are interested, but Muffti will provide some excerpts:

Someone once said to me that the fact that I date Jewish men is apparently the reason why she’s having difficulty finding a Jewish husband. It was said as a joke, but I’m sure there’s a lot of baggage behind it. But we’re in an open market, and everyone does what he wants.

No doubt JM is rolling her eyes. Muffti found this one rather telling:


In order to prevent problems, I recommend to non-Jewish women that if they decide to go for a Jewish man, they’re best off with a Reform Jew. Jews from Orthodox and Conservative families are much more committed to the issue of religion, and therefore, the relationship between a Christian woman and a Jewish man is likely to be much more complicated. His family will have many more reservations. I don’t think it will work easily.

With regard to the stereotypical Woody Allenness of our people:


Look, I’m neurotic myself. Jewish men as a rule are also very neurotic. They have many anxieties, they ask themselves questions all the time. In principle, I like that, the trouble is that when I’m under pressure from work, family, or God knows what, and I’m involved with someone who’s also neurotic, that creates a lot of friction. If I were a calm and quiet person, the neuroses of Jewish guys wouldn’t bother me.

Why do Jew-obsessed shiksehs require this book? To avoid or at least anticipate experiences such as your Jew bawling his eyes out in the bedroom on erev Yom Kippur:


….Only at that moment did she [Grish] learn that as part of the fast day, Jews are not allowed to have sexual relations. It was impossible to stop his tears or his guilt feelings, and she had no choice but to leave.

C’mon, open your mind and imagine yourself a shikseh dating a Jew. Wouldn’t you rather be prepared for this kind of thig?

Grish is a hottie and has doubtlessly had no problem snaring reform Jewish men. (Grish has apparently dated some 15 Jews in 6 years, averaging 2.5 per annum). He hereby accepts in advance any evening-activity invitations Grish has to offer. [He also promises no post-sex crying]. No doubt Muffti is out of the running however: unlike Grish’s Jewish stereotype, Muffti is laid back, a touch emotionally reserved, not totally lacking in machismo and his back isn’t really all that hairy. [Don’t ask. Go read]. Oh well. To comfort himself, Muffti remembers back to his pre-atheist hebrew school days and a particular Old Testament chapter springs to mind: Bameedbar 25.

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