Beloved leader currently in Hadassah Ein Kerem.
Ariel Sharon was rushed earlier tonight from his office to Hadassah Hospital in Ein Kerem after suffering a stroke.
But before prominent Yesha rabbis, Palestinians and American and European leftist anti-Zionist activists undergo a collective orgasm of sheer glee, reports indicate that Sharon is conscious and doing well, and that the stroke poses no danger to his life.
In the meantime, Ehud Olmert will be running the country.
Nu, Arik, you’re not getting any younger…maybe it’s time to cut down on the shwarma, habibi? Heh, I’m just kidding. Have a refuah shlemah, you crazy ol’ coot. Who will operate the tentacles of the worldwide Zionist entity without you?