Let’s see…

Grandmuffti? Missing.

Michael? Silent.

Esther? Too busy to visit or post.

Rabbi Yonah? Too busy to visit or post.

Alli? Silent.

Laya? Sometimes posts, but infrequently.

ck? Sometimes posts, but infrequently.

I’m so lonely I could cry.

About the author



  • Much like that cow, I’m playing the world’s tiniest violin for you, Middle.

    Although ck and Laya just stopped by Beit Jewlicious briefly, we all need a little time to recover from last night’s Official Jewlicious Moshav Achuzat Tirosh Mimouna Celebration.

    Once we recover from the copious mufletta and homemade bathtub arak, I’m sure we’ll all be back to posting. And laughing at those lame motherfuckers who had to suffer through two days of end-of-Passover chag with no mufletta and arak awaiting them at the end.

  • I happen to be one of those lame people! Dammit, you guys get to have all the fun!

    (admission – I don’t really like Arak but will pretend to like it among others if it gets them drunker)

  • Well it may be small consolation but i tried using your contact page and it is not working. 🙁
    (How can I reach you guys?)

  • you have your faithful readers. Jewlicious in on my personalised google page. My homepage.

  • Um, excuse me…it’s called celebrating the holiday and not using the internet over chag. And then it’s called helping my parents change their kitchen back to chametz. And then it’s called driving back through traffic to get back to my apartment. And then it’s called finding out what kind of work you’ve missed the last few days. And ps, some of us had our own blogs before Jewlicious that need tending…And then—oh, forget it.

  • Esther, I MISSED YOU!

    Non-Zionist dude, it’s not quantity that matters, it’s quality. It’s not as if the party ever stops at…oh, never mind, don’t wanna go there right now.

    N, you are truly a great and wise person!

  • Jewschool is indeed bumping, with its fun new poster distracting from the many interesting and worthy Jewschool posts with an exciting brand of cookie-cutter posts bordering on blithe self-parody, like leftist Jewish madlibs! To wit:

    “We as Jews must take to heart the lesson of [Jewish holiday], because the weight of our tradition demands that we pay attention to the horrible plight of [miniscule proportion of Jewish people who expect people to pay attention to their ‘alternative lifestyle choices’ / brown people of the week], so here’s an illuminating quote by [Jewish renewal figure whose opinion nobody outside of the Island of Manhattan cares about]:


    Until we as Jews have devoted our best efforts to [our Jewish brethren and sistren with vestigial third nipples who the Jewish community cruelly ignores / the separatist movement in Western Sahara], we cannot call ourselves true Jews, because true Judaism demands that we adhere to the lofty ideal of [cherry-picked, out of context Jewish ideal].”

    Ain’t no party like a tikkun olam party ’cause a tikkun olam party never stops its windy self-righteous blather!

  • Rabosai, don’t listen to their lies! There are not two choices! It isn’t Zionist OR anti-Zionist! You don’t have to pretend you know the answer, you don’t have to choose! You can watch, analyze, and hope for the best! There is no duopoly on Jewish perspectives. You can be reasonably skeptical that the Geula has started, and still not be Neturei Karta. There, I said it. You can support the fence, and still not celebrate Yom Atzm’oot. You can watch with admiration (and love) at Sharon’s strategies (for he was no mere tactician), and still be unsure if anything will help. The only thing you know (at the time, for sure)is that he is going to outsmart the Likud and Labor. But did anyone understand that here? No. Tragically, only Jewschool had writers that could understand this. Because there are other paths. I realize I have offended many of you. I’m sorry I have blown your minds with these concepts.

  • MICHAEL!!! I missed you!

    OMG, Kelsey, you want us to start pointing out all the times you folks have been wrong about Israel and the situation there? Apartheid state, anyone?

    And what is this business about Sharon outsmarting others not being part of what has been said on this site? Are you wacky? In fact, if you go back to my original post which is the one you want to attack, you will note that I was sceptical that his new party could earn as many seats as he needed. My math about needing at least 30 seats is right on target with the key difference being that when that post was written, a number of key Likud members had not yet moved to Kadima and it looked as if they would fight over leadership with Netanyahu. In fact, you could argue that Mofaz made a mistake by leaving the Likud because it weakened the party further and he may now lose his Defense Ministry position and disappear into the middle of the party. Instead, he might have had a shot at becoming leader of the Likud at this time and well positioned for future tries at PM.

  • TM
    Oy such a paysach. Hope you had a liberating one yourself! Just finished yontuf, dealing with de-pesafication of the home and then on to important things like blogging.

  • Hey, I’d post except that I don’t have posting privileges… although after a day and a half in Israel I have enough slice-of-Israeli-life stories to fill several posts. Any takers?

  • Don’t you worry. Mofaz has a shot at becoming Prime Minister one day. Just you wait.

  • middle, there were only 2 days of plain chol hamoed in hutz la’aretz this year. For those who don’t blog on holidays or shabbat, and who actually have other things to do (paying jobs, families, holidays to prepare for), I’m sure it was slightly busy. Give it some time.

  • “I can deal with my enemies. It’s my goddam friends that have me walking the floor at night!” –Warren G. Harding

    It’s OK to cry, Middle. (You’ve seen Brokeback Mountain, right?)

    But a far, far better thing to do: drink heavily.

  • Dk, what kind of prediction is that? Everybody has a shot at it if enough time passes. It’s not as if Olmert was on anybody’s list as a true contender.

    Laya, no excuse.

    Tom, my man! I have seen Brokeback Mountain and (a) regretted the waste of time and money, and (b) was bored to tears. That movie sucked, while I still recall reading the original short story which I thought was really quite good. Some stories are better left on paper.

  • Sending some love Middle. You should know that here in the shtetl Peasach actually starts at 2:00 on April 7 when the kids get out of school and runs until 8 am on April 24th when they go back. The Jews in the Bible may have celebrated 7 days of Peasach, but for Mothers of kids in Yeshiva, it’s 17 days.

  • Keepin’ it on the downlow for a change…love may be in the air…everyone please daven that I had my last Jdate (prayers in any denomination of any religion appreciated).

  • Sorry Middle! Muffti has no excuse other than that he must get his dis done within a fairly short time and is now regretting the cavalier ‘Muffti’ll do it later’ attitude he had, well, at all past times to now. (Muffti hopes his soon to be employers aren’t reading this). Thankfully, it is coming along at a rapid rate that so far has kept his angry advisors at bay.

  • hehehe…it’s a deal. Muffti just didn’t want his absence to go unexplained. Unforrtuantely, he just agreed to do a paper at a conference in france on a topic he knows nothing about so the work is severiously piling up. argh.

  • Middle– concur with your movie review. A ‘Bridges of Madison County’, with gay guys. (btw, new t-shirt for sale outside Fenway Park this week: ‘Brokeback Jeter’.)