seder survival

After careful dileberation, the grand prize winner wo will receive the original Ethan Stuckman (played by Max Greenfield) as tycoon, framed prop photo, as seen close up in the foyer of the Stuckman home is….

…drumroll please…..


With these hysterical tips:

-Please refrain from laughing at the following terms: Shankbone, Kreplach, Egg Cream, Matzah Balls, Sponge Cake, Blech.
-Please don’t refer to the matzah, or Uncle Mortie, as a cracker.
-You don’t need to bring an offering of Gentile Blood for the matzah. Flowers would be fine for a hostess gift.
-Adding Pabst Blue Ribbon to your glass does NOT put the “Man” back in Manischewitz.
-If you want to appear hip, say you’ve read the latest issue of Heeb Magazine. If you want to appear ultra-hip, say you subscribe to Kike Quarterly.
-No one wants to hear your Matisyahu impersonation.
-Please don’t mock our symbolic condiments.
-Remember – it’s the guest’s responsibility to start the pillow fight!
-Try not to add any spiritually insightful poetry to the Haggadah, or discuss how the notion of Israelite slavery relates to the current crisis in the Sudan. You’ll only delay the brisket.

Second prize of a signed script of the movie goes to BA from Blundering American for this tip “That glass full of wine in the middle of the table…yeah, that’s not for you.”

Ben Daivd, Purim Hero, Dan and Tzipi will recieve When Do We Eat stress balls.

Will all 6 winners please email us with your mailing addresses by using the contact form below …

We already know your email addresses and we’ll probably send you an email reminder but get back to us anyway. Thanks for playing!

About the author

Laya Millman