I’m getting a little tired of all these activities in Israel which I can’t attend anyway because I’m too old. Birthright, ROI120, and now Livnot for people who have 6-12 months to spare. And let’s face it, Jewlicious at the Beach just ain’t very formal. But the Bush family has given us an answer and I’d like to propose the Jewlicious White Tie Dinner.

Imagine Jewlicious at the Beach for older, established members of the Tribe. We’d invite the usual suspects: Bronfman, Steinhardt, Schusterman, Lauder, etc. We’d have informative sessions about ancient Israel and the history of the Six Day War. We’d entertain with Rav Shmuel Itzhak Perlman and maybe Streisand would be willing to join us for a song or two. Speakers would include mega-successes like Michael Dell and Michael Eisner. Spielberg’s younger kids would be running around with the nanny. We’d clobber those foolish enough to try in pick-up basketball. Then Dinner would follow, of course, and would include the obligatory hummus, but we’d also include some other fare appropriate to the occasion such as ck mother’s chakchouka. Best of all, we’d get to see Muffti, ck, Michael and TheMiddle shaven, in suits and ties, and our fine female contributors such as Esther, Phoebe and Beth in exquisite dresses (I hear Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein would love to compete for the honor of providing the outfits). Ah yes, the wine will be fine, the guests will smell nice, the food will be authentic and the music will be to die for. President Bush and Queen Elizabeth, eat your hearts out.

About the author

themiddle

19 Comments

  • TM, you also forgot to mention that you can’t attend because you’re tied to the [NAME OF STATE CENSORED FOR SECURITY] area and have “real responsibilities.”

    And DK makes an excellent point.

  • Sounds like a nice time.

    A suit with sandals can be nice! A sharp black suit, with a brand-new white T shirt under it, a proper black belt, and sandals. Sure.

    Just a plain white T shirt, though. No logos, messages, recipes or advertising on it. Nothing. This is a fancy affair.

    Maybe it could be a black and white ball. Everybody in black and white, one way or another, women and men.

    No shorts.

  • Is there a sandal equivalent of the tuxedo tee?

    [Wait, can we get back to the whining. Why does every fun opportunity in the Jewish world have an age limit? And they’re now all interconnected so that if you’re not a Birthright alum you can’t do X, and if you haven’t done X you can’t do Y. A lot of my friends have come into their Judaism in their late 20s and totally missed the Birthright wagon. In all seriousness I do wish there were more attention directed to opportunities for the big kids to have the same kind of experience and follow-up programming.]

  • You have a real point about the older single Jew needing some more attention and programming. You might be forced to pray. That brings Jews together. You are old enough now. It is no longer baloon time. Wheee! Let’s release the helium filled baloons! Not at 27.

    The tuxedo T is a little old hat, saving your presence. A blackT might be nice. Brand new, no logos. With a white bow tie.

  • Siviyo, creativezionism.com has no age limit. Nor does Jewlicious Festival. Or PresenTense Magazine, which skews to 20s and 30s, but doesn’t explode if a 40 or 50 year old begins to read. There are other opportunities, and the ones in their beginning years just aren’t widely publicized at first. As one of the big kids, I can tell you that it helps to adopt the attitude of Theodor Herzl: If you will it, it is no dream. Connect to the people and the opportunities will follow.

  • umm… doesn’t this already exist? it is called the UJA/UJC Wall Street Division dinner which is held in NYC each December. Just go to that and buy a couple of tables. It will be much cheaper that throwing your own Jewlicious White tie affair

  • Yeah, Larry. We’ll just buy a few tables at the most prohibitively priced events of the year. If the idea is to become more inclusive of people of all ages and experiences, UJA’s not the way. I can’t find info online of how much your suggestion costs, but I know from the JTA that at last year’s dinner (a casino night, apparently) “six Wall Streeters gave more than $1 million, 13 contributed between $500,000 and $999,999, and 59 donated more than $100,000.” Unless I’ve been misled, none of the bloggers I know can afford that kind of coin.

    If the idea is to have people like CK and Steven Spielberg at the same event, someone’s subsidizing for those of us who unleash our fury at being excluded in blog posts. And also, someone’s likely going to have to make some serious phonecalls, because Steve doesn’t just go to blog events.

  • Not to be contrary, but do we really need another formal event for the affiliated, wealthy, and older members of the Jewish community? Last time I checked there were about a bazillion.

    TheMiddle, maybe the problem is that you just aren’t being invited to the right events, not that they don’t exist.

  • Annie, I am being invited to the right events. Some of them anyway. I’m just not attending and I’d rather give my money to a couple of organizations that don’t have these kinds of events.

    However, this isn’t a fundraiser. The idea is to have a cultural event much like Jewlicious Festivals but instead of targeting younger adults, we target those prominent Jews WHO DON’T GET OUT ENOUGH BECA– USE THEY KEEP GETTING INVITED TO STUFFY, BORING CHARITY EVENTS. It’s a vertical growth strategy for Jewlicious…

  • Middle- it is a great idea and I would love to come. There are two many older Jews being lost because of the lack of interesting programing for people our advanced age (30 and above).

  • SN, do you really think that’s true? I mean, I think it’s true for single people, generally speaking, whose communities have alienated them for not providing what they need. But I always assumed that if I got married and started having nice Jewish babies, the “establishment” would finally know what to do with and reach out to me. Am I wrong? Does it never get any easier?

  • No, it doesn’t. There would still be a need for this event. Maybe it could be held at the Mexican War Memorial at 25th Street and Madison Avenue in New York, in nice weather. If that’s too small, Madison Park is across the street. In bridesmaid’s gowns, nobody will bother you. Put your hair up, and all arrive together, all looking alike, and giggling.

  • Great idea, we need more informal programming for the non-affiliated middle aged masses.

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