What Would Jesus Drive?The Associated Press reports the following:

Two prayer services will be held at St. Louis gas stations to thank God for lower fuel prices and to ask that they continue to drop. Darrell Alexander, Midwest co-chair of the Pray at the Pump movement, says prayer gatherings will be held Monday afternoon and evening at a Mobil station west of downtown St. Louis… Participants say they plan to buy gas, pray and then sing “We Shall Overcome” with a new verse, “We’ll have lower gas prices.” … An activist from the Washington D.C. area, Rocky Twyman, started the effort, saying if politicians couldn’t lower gas prices, it was time to ask God to intervene… The group thinks the prayer is helping, saying prices are starting to fall below $4 a gallon.

I’m going to have to ask these people to please stop or else risk divine wrath. I mean if I were God and people started petitioning me for sub-$4 a gallon gasoline in a world full of poverty, hunger, disease and misery, well, let’s just say I’d be pretty annoyed. Besides, if you were going to have special transportation-related prayers, wouldn’t it make more sense to ask for better public transit or more environmentally friendly sources of energy? So as to, you know, better preserve and protect God’s green earth? At times like this, I would ask my Christian friends to consider “What would Jesus do?” and the answer to that is “He’d walk.” I mean do you really think Jesus would tool around the holy land in some crazy gas guzzling, smog belching SUV? Dudes! He’d walk! Maybe on special occasions he’d ride a donkey – but that’s as far as it would go.

So yeah, good people of St. Louis? Cut it out. Please.

Follow me

About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

13 Comments

  • Overheard this one in shul in Plifton last Shabbat:

    Hashem please send to all mankind
    Understanding and peace of mind
    But if it’s not asking too much
    Please lower gas prices

    Show all the Jews how to get along
    Peace will enter when enter hate is gone
    But if it’s not asking me too much
    Please lower gas prices

    I lay awake nights and ponder world troubles
    My answer’s always the same
    That unless women cover all their skin
    Lust will put the world in a flame, what a shame

    Just because I drive a SUV
    I’m not begging for no sympathy
    But if it’s not asking too much
    Please lower gas prices

    Hashem please send to all mankind
    Understanding and peace of mind
    But if it’s not asking too much
    Please lower gas prices

    (with apologies to Percy Mayfield)

  • what they should be praying for is that JC turns water to petroleum.

    CK, don’t underestimate the power of Christ!

  • Maybe if the city had invested in public transportation, or put turnstiles on the current light rail, or maybe if half the city didn’t live 30 miles away, or maybe if they weren’t so afraid of living IN the city, dayeinu.

    St. Louis seems to always find the most random, out-there people to make the news and shape the national perception of St. Louis

  • Excellent, chutzpah! But for the love of, yes, God, take a break from TJ and download Please Send Me Someone to Love by Little Jimmy Scott.

  • Why don’t any Jewish men appreciate me the way you Tom Morissey, my shaygitz friend?

    I actually do take short breaks during my daily listening repertoire, but rarely in my fantasies.

    Sade did a nice version too.

  • Or check out pianist Red Garland’s version from his album Red Garland’s Piano. (He sometimes tries my patience but this is just a great version.)

    Aw, you’ve got a lot of friends and admirers out here, chutzpah.

  • yeah but I strongly prefer sex over friends and admirers… but thanks . And Gladys Knight also did “please send me someone to love” with BB King, now ONLY Tom Jones can beat that combo!

  • You have to understand something, ck. It’s the Midwest. This kind of idiocy is par for the course.

    Speaking of which…. Alex? Where are you?

    (Kidding).

Leave a Comment