To all of our readers, posters and your families, have a happy, healthy, fun, prosperous, creative, delicious, and just generally good new year.

SHANA TOVA!

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themiddle

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  • My Apple Pie Rosh Hashana

    Dear Dolly Parton (or during the Hih Holidays, is it Dolly Pardon). Please write a country song about my rosh hashana, sort of like “Hard Candy Christmas”

    I was delayed leaving Manhattan this afternoon due to a slow rental agency, work, the market drop of 777, and a lot of Yid-Lock on Interstate Route 80

    And so, I headed West in my rented Pontiac, and watched as the sun was setting behind dark clouds as the Jewish year of 5768 came to an end. A dark cloud was pierced by three circles of red as the Sun dropped lower on the horizon. Apple red and pomegranate-like crimson circles against dark clouds and Autumn trees in hues of Pocono pumpkin, scarlet and maroon.

    As a blanket of dusk fell, I stopped at McDonalds where I bought a baked Hot McApple Pie ™ and dipped it into a packet of McHoney. This experience was second only to my apple and honey experience on an erev Rosh Hashana flight from Warsaw to London many years ago.

    Happy New Year 5769. Lchaim tovim, parnasa kalah, calcala yafa, limoodim tovim and regard to the mishpacha. May we have a new year of health and gladness and joy and unexpected love (hehe)

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