So on the 4th night of Hanukkah, after all the relative excitement of the first three nights, I decided to just chill out at home with my new temporary roomate, Yiftach the cat. I perused the latest Hanukkah related stuff on the Interwebs. There was the usual collection of “lists” – like this list of 8 Hanukkah Hunks, a predictable collection of hot Jewish men. Also, our friends in Budapest (and Berlin) put together a list of the top 5 Hanukkah videos. At least I think they did because my Hungarian kinda sucks. Number 5 is Light ‘Em Up, a video we featured here before brought to you by Birthright Next. Then at number 4 Judapest chose Pass The Candle, a video project by Michelle Citrin and William Levin that we also featured on Jewlicious (twice!! Thanks Larry…). Then at number 3 is our very own Jerusalemite rapper Rinat Guttman with her original composition “A Candle is Lit” which beat out the big budget videos on the strength of her Hebrew lyrics I guess. Number 2 was this cute piece by banned Haredi singer Lipa Shmeltzer who sings Oy Chanukah in Yiddish! Surprised? Why? Judapest is run by Hungarians after all! Finally, at #1 is Light The Fucking Candles a song that reflects the confusion one sometimes finds in multi-faith families.
Another video featured in the Judapest comments is this funny but somewhat offensive ditty – an ode to the Jews called All I Want for Christmas… is Jews:
It really ought to be renamed “All I want for Christmas is RICH HOLLYWOOD Jews” as most of the Jews noted as appropriate for gentile lust purposes are in the entertainment industry. No Einsteins, no Rahm Emanuels, no Levinas, not even Philip Roth, Saul Bellow or even Adam Mansbach. Just Hollywood machers. This notion that the entertainment industry is controlled by Jews would be offensive, if it wasn’t in fact true – as noted by the LA Times:
How deeply Jewish is Hollywood? When the studio chiefs took out a full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times a few weeks ago to demand that the Screen Actors Guild settle its contract, the open letter was signed by: News Corp. President Peter Chernin (Jewish), Paramount Pictures Chairman Brad Grey (Jewish), Walt Disney Co. Chief Executive Robert Iger (Jewish), Sony Pictures Chairman Michael Lynton (surprise, Dutch Jew), Warner Bros. Chairman Barry Meyer (Jewish), CBS Corp. Chief Executive Leslie Moonves (so Jewish his great uncle was the first prime minister of Israel), MGM Chairman Harry Sloan (Jewish) and NBC Universal Chief Executive Jeff Zucker (mega-Jewish). If either of the Weinstein brothers had signed, this group would have not only the power to shut down all film production but to form a minyan with enough Fiji water on hand to fill a mikvah… The person they were yelling at in that ad was SAG President Alan Rosenberg (take a guess). The scathing rebuttal to the ad was written by entertainment super-agent Ari Emanuel (Jew with Israeli parents) on the Huffington Post, which is owned by Arianna Huffington (not Jewish and has never worked in Hollywood).
Doh! Oh well, at least I could be assuaged and entertained by the usual holiday narishkeit that passes for news. OK it wasn’t all narishkeit – like Canadian weightlifter Pete Czerwinski who, never having eaten a latke before, shattered the Latke eating record, consuming a grand total of 47 (!!) latkes! On the introspective level, we have our old friend Benyamin Cohen, author of My Jesus Year writing an ironic article titled Jesus Made Me a Better Jew. The Rabbi’s son discusses his addiction to all things Christian. Benyamin concludes:
Going to church for a year taught me many things and gave me a fresh perspective on my own Judaism. Returning to synagogue, I finally felt at home… So now I am a recovering addict. I have spent the past year attempting to wean myself off of my Christmas cravings. I still have a long road ahead of me and occasionally, I hate to admit, I get tempted to go back on the wagon — by the likes of Santa and his freakish Starbucks Gingersnap Latte… But I am trying… I grew up with Judaism served to me on a silver platter. Being the son of a rabbi granted me unfettered access to the beauty of my faith. And yet, I rebelled. It took going out of my comfort zone, being a stranger in a strange land, to make me jealous of Judaism. It took a year living as a Christian to wake me into realizing that being Jewish was what’s right for me… And I have Jesus to thank for that.
Thank goodness! We wouldn’t have wanted to lose you to speaking-in-tongue Pentecostals, forgiveness dispensing Catholic Priests, bleeding heart of Jesus houses of worship, martini swilling WASPs, Jews for Jesus or lame ass-hybrids like Chanukah Ham Chrismukah celebrations.
And on that note… happy halfway Hanukkah!