So on the 4th night of Hanukkah, after all the relative excitement of the first three nights, I decided to just chill out at home with my new temporary roomate, Yiftach the cat. I perused the latest Hanukkah related stuff on the Interwebs. There was the usual collection of “lists” – like this list of 8 Hanukkah Hunks, a predictable collection of hot Jewish men. Also, our friends in Budapest (and Berlin) put together a list of the top 5 Hanukkah videos. At least I think they did because my Hungarian kinda sucks. Number 5 is Light ‘Em Up, a video we featured here before brought to you by Birthright Next. Then at number 4 Judapest chose Pass The Candle, a video project by Michelle Citrin and William Levin that we also featured on Jewlicious (twice!! Thanks Larry…). Then at number 3 is our very own Jerusalemite rapper Rinat Guttman with her original composition “A Candle is Lit” which beat out the big budget videos on the strength of her Hebrew lyrics I guess. Number 2 was this cute piece by banned Haredi singer Lipa Shmeltzer who sings Oy Chanukah in Yiddish! Surprised? Why? Judapest is run by Hungarians after all! Finally, at #1 is Light The Fucking Candles a song that reflects the confusion one sometimes finds in multi-faith families.

Another video featured in the Judapest comments is this funny but somewhat offensive ditty – an ode to the Jews called All I Want for Christmas… is Jews:

It really ought to be renamed “All I want for Christmas is RICH HOLLYWOOD Jews” as most of the Jews noted as appropriate for gentile lust purposes are in the entertainment industry. No Einsteins, no Rahm Emanuels, no Levinas, not even Philip Roth, Saul Bellow or even Adam Mansbach. Just Hollywood machers. This notion that the entertainment industry is controlled by Jews would be offensive, if it wasn’t in fact true – as noted by the LA Times:

How deeply Jewish is Hollywood? When the studio chiefs took out a full-page ad in the Los Angeles Times a few weeks ago to demand that the Screen Actors Guild settle its contract, the open letter was signed by: News Corp. President Peter Chernin (Jewish), Paramount Pictures Chairman Brad Grey (Jewish), Walt Disney Co. Chief Executive Robert Iger (Jewish), Sony Pictures Chairman Michael Lynton (surprise, Dutch Jew), Warner Bros. Chairman Barry Meyer (Jewish), CBS Corp. Chief Executive Leslie Moonves (so Jewish his great uncle was the first prime minister of Israel), MGM Chairman Harry Sloan (Jewish) and NBC Universal Chief Executive Jeff Zucker (mega-Jewish). If either of the Weinstein brothers had signed, this group would have not only the power to shut down all film production but to form a minyan with enough Fiji water on hand to fill a mikvah… The person they were yelling at in that ad was SAG President Alan Rosenberg (take a guess). The scathing rebuttal to the ad was written by entertainment super-agent Ari Emanuel (Jew with Israeli parents) on the Huffington Post, which is owned by Arianna Huffington (not Jewish and has never worked in Hollywood).

Doh! Oh well, at least I could be assuaged and entertained by the usual holiday narishkeit that passes for news. OK it wasn’t all narishkeit – like Canadian weightlifter Pete Czerwinski who, never having eaten a latke before, shattered the Latke eating record, consuming a grand total of 47 (!!) latkes! On the introspective level, we have our old friend Benyamin Cohen, author of My Jesus Year writing an ironic article titled Jesus Made Me a Better Jew. The Rabbi’s son discusses his addiction to all things Christian. Benyamin concludes:

Going to church for a year taught me many things and gave me a fresh perspective on my own Judaism. Returning to synagogue, I finally felt at home… So now I am a recovering addict. I have spent the past year attempting to wean myself off of my Christmas cravings. I still have a long road ahead of me and occasionally, I hate to admit, I get tempted to go back on the wagon — by the likes of Santa and his freakish Starbucks Gingersnap Latte… But I am trying… I grew up with Judaism served to me on a silver platter. Being the son of a rabbi granted me unfettered access to the beauty of my faith. And yet, I rebelled. It took going out of my comfort zone, being a stranger in a strange land, to make me jealous of Judaism. It took a year living as a Christian to wake me into realizing that being Jewish was what’s right for me… And I have Jesus to thank for that.

Thank goodness! We wouldn’t have wanted to lose you to speaking-in-tongue Pentecostals, forgiveness dispensing Catholic Priests, bleeding heart of Jesus houses of worship, martini swilling WASPs, Jews for Jesus or lame ass-hybrids like Chanukah Ham Chrismukah celebrations.

And on that note… happy halfway Hanukkah!

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About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

18 Comments

  • CK,

    HA HA, a cat, I thought you hated cats? Even though they love you! Does this cat look anything like Hitler?

    Cats are never ‘temporary’ room mates either my friend, 1 month will turn into 1 year and soon you’ll feel the need to get the cat company. Just ask my cat Noga!

  • Ehhh, that stuff doesn’t even really phase me anymore. Let them spout their ilk, who cares. Sure there is still anti-semitism and Jews still are targets of gruesome atrocities, but never again will we need to deal with things like pogroms, the Holocaust, etc. If a Jew feels threaten they now have the State to protect them.

  • The world for Jews is a different place than it was before the creation of Israel, if you can’t see that then you are blind. Middle finds the need to keep bringing up this stuff all the time but we all know its there, we all read it daily on the internet. But at the same time we still don’t have to face pogroms, or face the possibility of our extinction as Jews did less than 70 years ago.

    This is a pretty damn good time to be a Jew compared to what our ancestors have put up with, for pete sake, Rahm Emmanuel, a first generation American with Israeli parents, is our president’s right hand man!

    Jews will always be targets, as the attacks in India illustrates, but with Israel we have a way of defending ourselves and if shit really does hit the fan we can have a free pass to be part of that State.

  • Yoni have you even been to Israel.We have a free pass to be part of that state.Do you have any idea what kind of red tape and hoops you have to jump threw to get citizenship.Also with polictians like Olmert,Barak and lets not forget the Kadima party.In a few short years there may not be a Israel to return to.

  • I would like to add one more thing.It is not just Kadima all the polictians are corrupt.It is ISANELY expensive you have to deal all sorts of kooks (Haredi)Then you have the unfortunate people who reside in Sderot and have to deal with constant bombardment of Kassam rockets on a daily basis.If you have not been to Israel take a Birthrite trip and exp it for yourself.Im sorry to pop your bubble,but israel is not the eutopia you seem to think it is.All this aside i would love to move there one day myself.

  • J. Miller,

    Yes I have been to Israel, I have friends in the IDF right now and some in Rabbinical school. Trust me I know all about the corruption, the bureaucracy, and of course of the residents of Sderot.

    I still think it’s eutopian for Jews, compared to conditions before the state of Israel that our ancestors had to deal with. At the same time North America, for the most part, is a better place for Jews than Israel, but if things went sour here, or anywhere else in the world, we have a place to go.

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