DiCaprio vs. Neuman

DiCaprio vs. Neuman

How’d that happen?

The cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is the most coveted spot in all of Super Modeldom… getting that coveted spot guarantees one’s spot in the lofty pantheon of all Super Models, and turns the lucky lady into a veritable icon, to be revered and offered lots and lots of high paying gigs and cocaine and whatnot. This year’s cover is graced by none other than Israeli super model Bar Refaeli, who you may know from her earlier appearance in Heeb magazine’s inaugural Jewish Swim Suit issue.

Now the internets are all abuzz about how exactly Refaeli managed to snag the coveted cover. Radar and the LA Times report that Refaeli may have received a bit of help from her boyfriend Leonardo DiCaprio. DiCaprio’s motivation? To piss off his ex-girlfriend Super Model Gisele Bundchen, a former Sports Illustrated cover model. Sports Illustrated of course will benefit rom all the publicity so the decision to feature Refael I guess was a no brainer. But all that’s speculation of course. No one’s talking.

Obviously. Refaeli is not just the first Israeli to grace the cover of the swimsuit issue, she is also the first Jewess and I think it’s no coincidence that she got the gig after the intense publicity she received from gracing the Heeb magazine cover. In fact, rumor has it that while DiCaprio thinks he has Refaeli in the bag, there may be another publicity shy suitor in the wings – namely Heeb Magazine publisher Josh Neuman who in all likelihood used his wily Jew ways to get the cover for his new, secret lady friend. You know how those Jews are – and by those Jews I mean Litvak/Yekke combos… deadly!

Refaeli was spotted at the Macy’s lingerie department in New York the other day and Neuman’s phone has been turned off all weekend. This development is a good thing because I want to be proud of Refaeli’s accomplishments but then there’s that whole dating a non-Jew thing. Sure if it all works out the kids will still be Jewish, but I think Neuman’s lineage can use a good dose of Israeli Super Model DNA to make up for all that Litvish Ghetto stuff he’s got going on.

Whatever. Let’s see how this develops I guess.

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About the author


Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.