OK, that title was total nonsense
But seriously, when I want to know the latest in teen religious Jewish boy band news, the first place I go to is Heeb magazine. And they never disappoint! After the bump check out these uh… cuties, called the Moshiach Times Band. JDub dubs them the “Jewnas” brothers and raves about their “skinny jean/Tzitzit combo” while Tablet Magazine says that they are “the religious Jews’ answer to the Jonas Brothers.” Me? I don’t even know who the Jonas Brothers are and I’m definitely not going to make any cracks about scoring sem girl booty in the temple bathroom (I leave that to Heeb). All I can say is that I am heartbroken that the David Kelsey approved musical line up at the Jewlicious Festival is all booked up and that we won’t be able to invite the Moshiach Times Band to play before they hit puberty and their sweet, angelic voices begin to crack. Oh well.