By UK Labour

When an MP from our party whose family members were killed in the Holocaust stood up in Parliament on Tuesday and called our chairman a “@%$&ing anti-Semite,” we were appalled that the situation had deteriorated to the use of such language. Not so much by what prompted it.

As Labour members and as Britons, we pride ourselves on a rich cultural and political tradition that values civility in rhetoric almost as much as it values antipathy toward Jews. When both sets of values are violated – by a Jew, no less; imagine the insult! – at once, we cannot stand by in silence. This is an outrage.

Our party’s rejection of an antisemitism definition that every major Jewish organization, the British government itself, and numerous European countries have adopted – one that would force us to reckon with the abiding hatred for Jews in our ranks that sometimes masquerades as opposition to Israeli policies – has brought together Jews of many stripes who under other circumstances would never give one another the time of day. Most institutions would take such a development as an impetus to sober up and take antisemitism seriously, but that would mean admitting that we progressives have an antisemitism problem, and we find that ontologically impossible It must be the Jews who are wrong.

Consequently, if the Jews are wrong – and their coming together to oppose our rejection of that which would accept their fears of discrimination makes it easier to treat them as the monolith we like to see – then the parliamentary outburst becomes merely a disturbing breach of decorum, not the product of legitimate grievance, and must be denounced. Such unpleasantness. Don’t the Jews know their @%$&ing place?

Excuse us for that outburst. We were swept up in the passion of the moment.

It is a matter of simple @%$&ing arithmetic. If we appeal to the millions of Muslim citizens by speaking to the antisemitism they imbibed in the cultures they inhabited before they or their parents came here, we can attract more than enough votes to offset the dwindling number of Jews in the UK, and retake control of the government. We have our eye on the @%$&ing prize, and no @%$&ing Jew is going to keep us from seizing it and then doing to the @%$&ing Jews what they deserve for being such ungrateful little @%$&s.

Remember, we are the party of tolerance and opposition to prejudice. Not those other @%$&ing @%$&s.

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PreOccupied Territory

PreOccupied Territory writes the news a few days in advance, because nothing we can think of is too absurd to happen in the Middle East.

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