As European politicians, economists (who for some reason still dare to voice their opinions publicly), hairstylists, and taxi drivers debate whether Greece should leave the monetary union that is the Eurozone, and while Erdogan is trying to leave behind a political legacy after failing at improving the economy in Anatolia, solving political issues in Cyprus and Kurdish areas amicably, having Turkey join the European Union, and reactionarily Islamise laicist Turkey, this European taxpayer has got a suggestion to make:
HAND GREECE TO ISRAEL.
Why?
(1) Israel’s shown to be highly efficient at re-building a country.
(2) The added agricultural ground would stabilise food prices in Israel; but there’d be no shortage of food in Greece because of (1).
(3) Apart from Athos, Greek’s got more islands for men with long beards to live on in seclusion, which would ease residential property-related issues in the fast-growing Charedi neighbourhoods.
(4) Chanukkah celebrations could then include actual re-enactments. CK as Judah Maccabbee? Take that, Mel Gibson.
(5) There’d be little cultural conflict:
clergy with long beards – check
Hellenist influence on history – check
an alphabet unique to Europe – check
middle class European tourists – check
appreciation of historic sites and love of a romanticised view on early history – check
dancing in circles – check
food stuffed into bread pockets – check (suggestion: fusion food – gyros falafel pita w/ tzatziki)
(6) If there is any swamp in Greece, CK will personally drain it and name it in honour of DK.
(7) It would piss off Erdogan.
