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The World is Spared from Britney Spears Cohen

18 years ago
17 Comments
by ck
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britney spears cohenBaruch Hashem
Looks like actor/model Isaac Cohen and Britney Spears are no longer uh… “dating.” Britney’s in New York for Fashion Week accompanied by her two children and her manager. Meanwhile, Isaac was nowhere to be seen.

Usmagazine.com has learned that the two decided to split after a month of dating.

“They realized they’re better off as friends,” Cohen’s pal Yaniv Fituci tells Us. “There was no big drama. It was never more than just hooking up.”

Fituci, who directed Cohen, 25, in the Hinterland video “Aim,” added: “I don’t think he’s in a place for a serious relationship yet. He’s too busy.”

Uh… yeah. Look, it’s not like I was worried that he’d marry the fading pop tart. But you never know, the theoretical possibility existed. And what with her Kabbalah Center experience, maybe she would have converted. I was just concerned about Britney’s contribution to our collective gene pool y’all. It might have signaled the trailer trashification of the Jewish people… soon we would doubtless be witness to the spectacle of drive through synagogues, hoochie denim shorts as acceptable wear at bar mitzvah services and lots and lots of wholly un-ironic consumption of lots and lots of Pabst Blue Ribbon and Gennesee Beer.

*Shudder* We dodged a bullet there people.

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ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

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17 Comments

  • C raises a brilliant point here i believe unwittingly, regarding how we think of ourselves inthe USA. Even tho most of the famous MLM schemes are not run by Jews, e.g. Sunrider, Mellaleuca, Amway, but this is how the typical American sees us, as schemeer and connivers. Even tho AFAIK, MLM is not an illegal thing, just that it being a cash biz and based on a lot of trust lends itself to cutting corners, this is where she is coming from.
    As opposed to a genuine talent, as in
    all of these media and celebrities, and in a marriage of such, this is somehow not the authentic enviromenment for a jew, not the real deal so to speak, as opposed to the conniver criminal type.
    This is a most brilliant expose by Chutz.

  • Prolly not, we would have heard about it, them guys love to brag about who they have suckered in. Like aish for example, this is published internal stuff that they put out celebrity names in the hopes of attracting the stupid sheep to follow . That is why, they are ambivilant about the Maddonaas and the Britneys. They love the exposure too much, so that their personal cause is allowed to continue.

  • is the guy who owns the Maple Leafs the same guy who puts his name on the side of Ohr Somaych, ’cause if it is, this is the same guy. Wow! Talk about 6 degrees …this is like one degree between tzedaka and “business model”.

  • P.S. Their motivation saying is “Juice by You” …think they are taking that awful grammer from people we know and love?

  • Innovage is alive and well and hitting NJ big time. I interviewed and asked over and over for income data and was finally told that a person gets $450.00 a week, but must complete the 8 hour day of observation in the field, which is door -to- door sales, for which they only receive a commission on sales It’s actually simpler than a “multi-level” scheme and is probably outside the new laws.

    I’m sorry but only Yiddishe kups could figure out a plan like this. Yasher Koach.

  • Uh, Chutzpah, are these still active companies? I mean, unless somebody has sued these companies or individuals and won or unless a government has filed charges against these individuals and convicted someone or won a penalty in court, let’s stress that you’re writing about allegations.

    Having said that, most multi-level companies in North America end up disappointing their new recruits. That’s why the law was changed so that companies need to provide data to new recruits about the average incomes of new recruits.

  • Do you have an Jewlicious gossip on Canadian rich Jew Larry Tanenbaum?

    I almost became aware of a ponzi scheme selling liquidated junk which he manufactures and supplies from Japan and then distributes through people who form their own corporations. He gives them stuff on consignment, after they reach a certain level in the network. It seems to be taking advantage of a lot of the entry level people, who are dumb enough to sell door-to-door for a commission in cash.

    When I caught on to the whole plan I said to myself, in my self-hating Jew voice which I really try not to use, “I smell a rich Jew at the top of this pyramid” and sure enough the names Avie Roth and Larry Tanenbaum came up. They are probably not doing nothing against Halaka, or U.S. law. Brilliant!

    But it seems alot of people are left with broken dreams and wasted time. The current company is called Innovage and before that it was DS-Max. Newcomers beware!

  • I agree with Liorah, she gets a lot of press for anyJewish-oriented antics and we all know she’ll do anything for press. Plus, marrying a Jew worked out well for Diva Diana Ross and Britney is such a diva wannabe.

  • Oh muffti, you’ve been confined too long to your ivory towers. You haven’t seen what I’ve seen, you haven’t been where i’ve been and you haven’t met the people I’ve met. Trashy denim cutoffs are a horror 99.9% of the time both here in Israel and in the heartland of George Bush’s America. Mamish a horror…

    PBR has its moments, but they mostly involve states of addle mindedness – something I’m sure Britney can relate too: “I swear I had my panties on when I left the house y’all!”

  • Double Dude, PBR on tap can be quite satisfying… Especially if you’re already drunk.

    On second thought, if you’re already drunk, STAG is good on tap.

  • so that’s what’s happening to me? I’m so undergoing some serious trailer trashification!