}

Um, hello? Mom?

dumbassCould you come pick me up? I’m hungry and these soldiers are holding me here. Nothing! I swear, I did nothing! I’m at the Hawara Checkpoint. Why? Um, I dunno. Okay, okay, stop shouting! I wanted to go to Tel Aviv. I know there are no Palestinians in Tel Aviv except for a few restaurant workers! That’s why I was going, no Palestinians. No, I’m not gay and running to safety. Mom, come on, I know you get it – all Jews, no Palestinians, I’m fifteen. THAT’S IT! I TOLDJA I DID NOTHIN WRONG! I was gonna blow myself up. Take as many Yahoodi as I could with me. I know you’re proud, just wait till you tell Poppa. He’s gonna shep naches. Mom, you wouldn’t believe it, but I saw a vision of one of the virgins . You know. Yeah, one of the seventy two. Yeah, those. So I saw one, I think. Yeah! I was on the Internet and found a site called Jewlicious. Mom, what does frum mean?

Yup, it’s time for another teenager to be captured wearing a bombing belt. In other news, Sharon and Abbas are meeting next week to agree to a “cease fire.”

12 Comments

  1. ck

    2/3/2005 at 8:44 pm

    Good post! Very funny …

  2. T_M

    2/3/2005 at 9:12 pm

    TM appreciates it when after months of posting, ck finally enjoys a post of his.

    TM wonders if this might be an auspicious moment to retire from blogging?

  3. T_M

    2/3/2005 at 9:14 pm

    Speaking of this post, could you pick up the image from the jpost and insert it. Thanks buballeh.

  4. ck

    2/3/2005 at 9:20 pm

    TM, I enjoy all your posts. Even if I disagree with some, I still enjoy ’em. Ask anyone, they’ll tell you I’m your biggest fan!

  5. T_M

    2/3/2005 at 9:31 pm

    Oh. TM thought his biggest fan was Neo-con. 😉

    Thanks for the pic.

  6. ck

    2/3/2005 at 9:34 pm

    OK. Now will you explain your wierdness with Avital’s “Daddy?”

  7. T_M

    2/3/2005 at 10:02 pm

    I’ll send you an email.

  8. Dina

    2/4/2005 at 12:19 am

    Wait…can I interrupt?
    I am so TM’s biggest fan!

  9. Steven Pillar

    2/4/2005 at 12:59 am

    See! It’s okay for us to post idiotic tidbits that have nothing to do with the topic!

    Now I must rub my neck in celebration of jewish life!

  10. T_M

    2/4/2005 at 1:27 am

    Dina! Yay!

  11. Josh

    2/5/2005 at 7:11 pm

    Actually,
    I think that he was going to Jerusalem and thank goodness for Jewlicious to balance out Jewschool. On that site, this ‘poor oppressed fellow’ might not have the right to kill Jews, but hashem forbid Jews try to find him before he commits the act, but up obstacles like checkpoints to make travelling harder and/or it’s Israel’s fault in the first place.

  12. T_M

    2/5/2005 at 7:25 pm

    See Josh? The Middle. 🙂

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