Registration for the next round of free trips to Israel with Birthright Israel begin on September 13/14 2011. If you’re Jewish, between the ages of 18-26 and have never been on a peer-based trip to Israel, this is your opportunity to enjoy a free 10-day trip to the Land of Milk and Honey! You can get more information on the Birthright Israel site. There’s lots of information available there. Lots and lots. But not everything you need/want to know.

That oversite is what inspired our Unofficial Guide to Sex on Birthright Israel and it is what inspired our decision to compile this guide on getting high in the Holy Land. I mean why not? You’re not at work, you’re traveling with your friends in an exotic setting – what’s wrong with a little recreational pharmaceutical fun? Before you contemplate such a course of action there are a number of things you ought to know.

There is no right against unreasonable search and seizure in Israel
Yup. Even if you’re American, Israeli police are allowed to search you any time they feel like it. The Fourth Amendment’s privacy rights will not protect you here. And when the po-po stop someone Jewish, between the ages of 18 and 26, the thing they’ll be looking for the most is illegal narcotics. If they find any, you’re going to jail. And that’s just for starters.

Drug transactions in Israel involving tourists usually don’t end well
At best you’ll get ripped off – you’ll either be sold something that isn’t drugs, like a bag of dried parsley instead of weed or an aspirin instead of ecstasy – or the “drug dealer” will simply take your money and give you nothing in return. What are you going to do? Complain to the Police? Not likely. Fight? I doubt it. Heck, if I had the opportunity, I’d rip you off too, just on principle. Another thing you might want to consider is that the way the authorities keep the drug situation under control in Israel is by using a network of snitches. These are petty criminals who stay out of prison by ratting out other criminals. Thus, even if you do get your hands on drugs, you might be met with an unwanted interaction with the local constabulary a few moments after scoring. Afterwards, you will go to jail. In either case, you won’t get high.

Marijuana in Israel mostly sucks
A businessman/pothead friend of mine who occasionally visits Israel tells me that because of the relatively low quality of the weed in Israel, he has to smoke three times as much in order to get sufficiently high. After one week of this, his voice gets all scratchy and he develops a persistent cough. Do you really want to risk jail and deportation for a little skunk weed?

Cocaine in Israel mostly sucks
Blow is not indigenous to the Middle East. As such it has to be smuggled in from far away. By the time it gets into the hands of coke heads, it is so stepped on that it is mostly pablum. It is so stepped on that I have seen otherwise dedicated users refuse to imbibe. It is so stepped on that old people use it as a naughty pick me up. Despite its suckiness, it still costs around $100 a gram.

Ecstasy in Israel mostly isn’t
I’m sure you’ve read all the newspaper accounts involving Israeli drug kingpins flooding Europe and the US with high quality ecstasy. Perhaps you assumed that this drug would be readily and cheaply available throughout Israel. If so then maybe you ought to lay off the drugs a little given that all said Israelis are in the news because they have been arrested and their operations shut down. Anyone selling you Ecstasy in Israel is actually selling you something else. What that something else is, is anyone’s guess.

Hashish in Israel comes from terrorists
If it didn’t involve so many dead people, the story of how hash gets into Israel is kind of heartwarming. It is the only time Lebanese-based terrorists cooperate with Israelis in the furtherance of mutually beneficial transactions. The drug wholesalers approach the fence separating Israel from Lebanon and throw a pack of Hashish over it. The Israelis on the other side throw a pack of money back. It’s heartwarming because under different circumstances, these entrepreneurs would be killing each other. Not so heartwarming because the money is used to fund the Hezballah terrorist infrastructure in South Lebanon, paying for guns and rockets used to kill Israelis.

Opiates in Israel come from terrorists
The Poppies that are used to manufacture opiates are found mostly in Iran, Afghanistan and even in parts of the Sinai. Either way, by buying these types of drugs you are enriching terrorists, be they the Taliban, Al Qaeda militias or the Mullah led government of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, all of whom wish to wipe Israel off the map in one way or another. Yes, that’s Israel the country whose taxpayers paid for half your free trip.

Getting arrested in Israel is the opposite of fun
Jails anywhere are not pleasant places and jails in Israel are particularly foul. Israel frowns on the illegal use of narcotics – if you manage to avoid jail time or a court appearance you will still be deported and barred from returning to Israel for up to 10 years or more. Not a big deal, until jack booted thugs start marching in your town and you have nowhere to go to. It could happen! I’m just saying…

Bottom Line
Your trip lasts only 10 days. It’s a fast paced, intense and immersive, once-in-a-lifetime experience. Drinking too much, let alone illegal drug use of any kind, will not enhance your experience at all. Drug use will detrimentally affect your experience and may detrimentally affect the experience of the group you’re travelling with as well. It will also eventually lead you to checking out sites like centers.org looking for treatment if you turn out to have some common sense. In fact, if you read this post in the hopes of figuring out how to score drugs in Israel while on Birthright you’re obviously a shallow, thoughtless and selfish prick. I strongly urge you not to apply at all. If you get caught using drugs, you will get kicked off the trip, sent home and Birthright Israel may bill you and your family for the expenses involved. That could be like… $6000! That’s a lot to pay in order to get high. So please, just stay at home until such time as you are mature enough to take a trip like this and make the most of it. As for the rest of you, please by all means apply. Please by all means come to Israel. We’d love to meet you! Just stay sober. For 10 days. How hard can that be???

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About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

36 Comments

  • I mostly agree but somehow the whole tone here sounds like public service announcement. I am married to an Israeli – both of us total nerds (with friends who are also total nerds), and yet I think that all of our Israeli friends smoke(d) weed. While I cannot comment on the quality of weed in Israel (because I don’t smoke myself), I see that in abundance all over the place among my Israeli friends. They don’t even hide it. In addition, medicinal purposes are permitted in Israel. In other words, if you know personally an Israeli who smokes, I don’t think it is that horrible.

    Having said that – I do agree with the most important paragraph in this article – the last one.

  • What’s your source that the money from the hash goes to terrorists? Did the hash I smoked in Israel over 35 years ago fund terrorism?

  • Not as much 35 years ago but these days, Syrian military, Hizbollah and a whole criminal network utilized by terrorists have their hand in the Hash trade. It’s not direct link but it is a link nonetheless.

  • I have a friend who went to Israel a couple of years ago and he got served totally good weed in Tel Aviv.

    I agree with ck that Israel should move to decriminalize weed in order to remove the cartels, terrorists, and most importantly, improve the quality.

    • Of course one can find quality weed in Israel if one is lucky or if one has local friends to hook you up. But the prospects are grim for clueless trip participants. And it’s a dumb idea. And weed is for losers anyway. Feh. Go frolick in a field of patchouli stupid hippies.

      • Hi! I have spent the past several hours researching Birthright and reading all of your awesome and extremely entertaining articles. I currently reside in New York and am considering doing Birthright. I’d love to pick your brain on some questions I have regarding both Israel and the trip. If interested, please email me at [email protected]. You are extremely knowledgeable and I figured who better to ask than you.

        Thank you.

        Kind regards,
        Chad

      • The weed in Israel is as good as anywhere I have smoked. If you are an American, you will probably be treated better than an Israeli when buying weed, you probably won’t get ripped off. There actually is very little mediocre weed in Israel, most of it is very strong. In fact, I would like to buy weed like back in the day, not so strong, so you can smoke more, and work better. Stay away from Nice Guy, which can kill you, really dangerous stuff. It’s a shame that marijuana isn’t yet legal here, causing Nice Guy to hit the streets because weed in Israel is expensive! And weed is the only drug most people will ever need. I never take pills. The only place that is a little tight about it, is Jerusalem, because they have so much stress there. Other than that, people are smoking hash and weed everywhere! The hash is suspect, meaning no one seems to know exactly what’s in it, and it’s not pure hash. The hash doesn’t seem to hurt people, though. The guy who wrote the article is probably a “sahi Balah-ta”. U don’t want to be on one of those!

      • not all stoners are losers or hippies, and even if they are hippies they probably gotta a better understanding of the world then you do, you ignorant, brainwashed, and closed minded human!!!!

        • Anyone who can’t refrain from consuming illegal narcotics for 10 days has some real issues Jeremy. This assertion does not apply in the case of medicinal use of course. I’m not ignorant or close minded and I am certainly not brainwashed – I have no issues with drugs in general.

  • As a licensed Israeli tour guide/Jewish educator who has led over 50 Birthright groups since its’ inception 11 years ago, I think I have some decent perspective on this issue. 10 days to be weedless is so little to ask of participants. In every group I have guided there is always someone who asks me where to score ( one look at me and you might understand why they ask) and |I tell everyone , just wait till the trip is over. The least you can do as a “thank you” for a free trip is to stay away from from trouble. No doubt if you move to Israel and smoking is an essential part of your lifestyle , you will be able to take care of yourself. And of course listen to your Birthright Educator guide at all times , it might be me!!!

  • So much for the ‘Holy Land’. There’s alternative information out there that says the Mossad and Israeli government sponsor the terrorists and that the occupation in Afghanistan was all to protect the Israeli mob interests in the heroin trade. Also, interesting was an article that allege the organ traffickers and drug lords operating in South Africa are Israelis and that’s just South Africa. One can only wonder what goes down in Jew York et el :)…Israeli did 911 🙂

  • Drugs (of a high quality, if you know where to look) are well available in Israel and if you’re careful and cautious you’ll be just fine.
    Police do random searches, but only very rarely and mostly in crime-prone areas to people that fit certain characteristics that they’re looking for.
    Many potheads here 😉

  • Your coverage of all things Birthright is refreshing and informative! Thanks for telling it like it is. I went on Birthright last summer and it was fantastic. when my friends ask about the experience I show them my pics and point them to your birthright posts.

  • Well I will add my tuppencewert and not ans an Anon but I will stick a virus up.. you have been warned now after that – what mevellous bit of scholarship this is going to be. I don 't do drugs….keep reading : this will be useful. Cathartic…. I better do it on Ultradedit and move it over.

    Yad M – modesty stops me from further identifying this famous Shaar ha Negev……

    Picture this.

    Low life poms (US: read English chappies) at end of their time in the Holy Land a la Bronzette and minimum fruit picking decided to go to Sinai where apparently this weed stuff is good and cheap – if you don't get caught and floggoed or killed by Beduin (I mean they are basically nice blokes but they remember what Laurence of Araby promised them, did not deliver and if you are white and English speaking they might take it out on you where the sun don't shine… These are not smart blokes to get yer psychaelic trips from… and camels bite and spit too. )… I guess these Tagbit, Tagbot…. Tag along.. never y mind…well don't go after… what happened yeah I am getting there….. they were flying away (they had been up in the clouds in another way I would guess) on a jet plane back to Ole Blighty…. had to get back to civilisation ie north of the Border Fence. One Dumbo guy/chappie could not resist it… no he did not try to smuggle Ha_sh… nope (rather than discard it, ) he swallowed it.. went through the border control I heard.. b_gger me I would no go down there… eyes all glazed over supported by others. Tshal or others proly knew the score… ripped his gear open looking for illegals. Nix. What a mess he was in (so I heard). Sounded funny at the time. Now he might have stomach cancer.

    Then they tried to top and tail in the ghetto huts for volunteers on the Kbtz (bit like Club Med el primativo) as they had no money to stay in TA (guess where that had gone eh? Yes, goodness you are smart, Princetown material) but the Vol leader is not a freaking moron… out they went perhaps the tried to sleep on the beach in TA and got stuck up by Arab types with knives… that happened too (I met someone it happened to and believe me – he had Attitude.. Jeez Wayne, who did he expect to meet on TA beach at 1am. eh?- a bloke in a white robe preaching peace and humility with his 12 Opposums blinking their big yellow eyes in the light of the boardwalk pearl type lamps (loved them ) along the promenade and swithing their ringed tails ). Friggind dame Edna Everage lives in London or Melbourne, you tosser not Tel Aviv. Now – back to the morality play –

    Lie down with dogs and or potheads and you will get up with…a criminal conviction.

    These can be checked out internationally. Bit like this post; It will certainly not go away and will come back as a revenant when my 'plane has mechanical problems (Qantas seems to have a lot of that lately ) and has to stop in Karachi….Dope convicitions the same. Blame IBM FBI , Bill Gates; it Will happen if you "have Form".

    Memories…

    cheers, Timbo your don't do it you tosser, advisor.

  • Everything in Israel mostly sucks. Except maybe the dead sea? the dead sea doesnt suck.

  • I really wana thank you for providing such informative and qualitative material so often.I really wana thank you for providing such informative and qualitative material so often.

  • Im inspired with the exceptional and instructive contents that you provide in such short timing.

  • bunch of crap.
    you won’t go to jail for under 15 grams and the weed is pretty good.

    • No tourist here will ever find good quality weed. And yeah, you will go to jail for under 15 grams. You may not stay long but you’ll definitely be taken to a police station and interrogated at a bare minimum. And you’ll get kicked off your trip. So yeah.

  • I am in Israeli police, and there are a lot of errors here.
    First if all, no Israeli cop will ever search an American tourist, unless they are doing something extremely vile or suspicious.
    Secondly, there is most definitely a requirement for a reason to execute a search. If this reason is not detailed in the police report, the evidence is thrown out. If this reason is not announced to the suspect prior to searching, the evidence is thrown out.
    Regarding Israeli jails and prisons, you can’t be serious comparing them to US penitentiaries. US facilities are known around the world in their atrocious attitude to inmates. Israeli prisons are very easy. Jails a a little crowded and stinky.
    Weed quality in Israel used to bad, is excellent now. The police doesn’t care if you smoke weed. Don’t sell it and don’t commit felonies. Even if you commit the worst felony, the police and courts in Israel are about 80% more lenient than US law enforcement. Look it up. Citizens are complaining about it. The likelyhood a cop in Israel will shoot you or even get rough with you is almost zero. Unless you’re a terrorist.

    • No offense Shlomi, but I’ve been stopped and frisked by the police because i was in a parking lot getting into a car. Vile! Suspicious! I’ve been to Israeli Jails – maybe they aren’t as bad as the worst US prisons but still – you don’t want to go there! And the Police definitely care if you smoke weed – attitudes may differ from one cop to another but it only takes one to ruin your day. And we’ve seen cops beat up an Ethiopian Israeli soldier… But yes, most cops in Israel are awesome! Whatever the case may be, people visiting Israel on Birthright Israel should not smoke weed while on the trip. Period.

      • I never said Israeli police was great – they are lazy and stupid, but not violent or zealous. Being stopped and frisked in a partking lot is quite possible, but if the officer did not tell you the reason you are being searched, and it was not properly documented in the arrest report, then your lawyer would have to be very bad to not get the charges dropped immediately. I’ve been around a few years and never seen any tourist arrested for anything other than violence or theft. Arresting people for weed possession is absolutely not what you are supposed to do, and if you do bring one in, you will get funny looks from your lieutenant. As far as going to jail – our felons are MUCH less violent that yours – case and point – we don’t go out with bullet proof vests. That Ethiopean guy that “got beat up” – he was repeatedly not comliant, he pushed the cop and cursed him, he raised a large rock to throw at the cop. He was not beat up – he was brought down and immediately cuffed, released after one hour. The cop was fired the next day and the chief of police apologized on national news. In America the same case the offender would have been shot, the cop keeps his job and no apology.

  • this article is total bullshit, you can find classy weed in the south part of Tel Aviv near the central station and it’s not even that dangerous, nobody actually gives a fuck… my niggaz there sell everything while policemen are eating falafel in a restaurant nearby

  • Bro if you need to score some good quality weed hit this dude on TELEGRAM @Francbud. He got some good quality weed. Available 24/7