Poor Suha Arafat. She was already beside herself from having to live apart from the unshaven foul-breathed one for three years, suffering the terrible ardor of life in Paris on a measly stipend of US$100,000 per month. Ahh, the pain she must have felt visiting fancy shops, fashion shows and spas all by her lonesome. Woe to Suha as she grew her double chin and acquired the girth appropriate to a French-food lovin’ woman seeking to overcome her unassuaged feelings of loneliness, and, let’s be honest here, LUST.

Yes, poor Suha screamed to the entire world through the omnipresent Al Jazeera that she was being mistreated by the Palestinian leadership who wanted to do away with her husband – although they had been sitting with him in the muqata for the past couple of years.

Then, apparently in agreement to keep her mouth shut, she worked out some deal for a PA pension (rumored at $13 million dollars) and may actually be the very first recipient of a PA pension in the history of the universe, since all the old men are fighters to the death. At that point, once the millions were apparently secured, she seemed to have backed off, relaxed, and found her quiet Armani voice again.


Some things began to happen. First, the Arab world and media, seeking to prove Israel poisoned the snake, began clamoring for Arafat’s medical records. The French refused to release them to anybody other than family members.

This complex situation was resolved by the clever and enterprising Nasser Al-Kidwa who is Arafat’s cousin (hence, a family member) and the Palestinian representative in the UN, where he has single-handedly given the Palestinians some of their greatest victories in that dank and decrepit institution. Nasser offered to come and pick up the “historical documents” himself, at which point it would be his right to hand them over to the PA which would then be able to release them or not while making up evil stories about the Israelis poisoning the lout (some analysts think the PA actually wants to prevent information about his death from getting out because both a poisoning and an AIDS death will harm the PA).

However, on the same day, some unthinking moron at the PA also instructed Suha to stop gallivanting around the Arab world in the jet the PA gave her and to return it. Apparently, the PA jet wasn’t part of the pension.

Now Suha ain’t no fool. She figures that if they don’t want to let her have some fun and enjoy the fruits of the labor of her scummy husband, and fly to Tunis for lunch just before returning to the Champs Elysees for some difficult designer fashion shopping, then she will ensure that they will not have their way with her or her husband’s records. Thus, just before Nasser came to pick up the records on behalf of the PA and the Palestinian people, Suha gingerly went over and grabbed them for herself.

It is now publicly announced by her lawyer that she is contemplating whether to release these records to the world and that as the wife of the now-deceased walking anus, she is the true heir of the records – now a Palestinian national treasure.

Hmmmm….sounds like somebody figures there’s a big payoff just around the corner. Now we just have to guess whether the source will be the PA, a very wealthy individual or some enterprising publication.

Come on Suha, sell it to a publication so we can all hear what happened to the Old Fart!

Update: Nasser has landed in France and so far French officials are indicating he is a close neough family member to receive the medical records. We’ll see if Suha’s lawyer sues to stop them.

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  • Well at least scummy won a peace prize.. More than can be said for Pigman the general

  • Yikes! I guess I hit a raw nerve. Are you related to the cockroach who won a Nobel Peace Prize for participating in the Oslo process and then torpedoed it at and after Camp David II, proving that he was lying about it the entire time?

  • I’m sure the Israeli side was trying real hard to make sure it did. Then Sept 11th.. Bonus round..

    I love Israel and all.. But the cockroaches keep getting in my food..

  • Well, the Israeli side offered the Palestinians a state.

    That ends the discussion doesn’t it?

    I mean now you have to bend over backwards to explain all about how the offer of 100% of Gaza and 90% of the West Bank wasn’t enough.

    Then you have to pull some acrobatic stunts to explain how at Taba, even when Israel agreed to forego all the bullshit reasons people came up with after Camp David, the Palestinians still weren’t willing to compromise on 100% of Gaza and 97.5% of the West Bank plus Israeli land in exchange for the other 2.5%.

    Then, you will have to contrort your body in all kinds of strange directions to explain how a Noel Peace Prize winning partner for peace with Israel who supposedly signed off on a change in the PLO Charter to not seek the destruction of Israel began a war right after being offered a state for the first time since the creation of the State of Israel, and only the third time in all of recorded history.

    And even after all that, you still couldn’t begin to twist your body in enough ways to start the very introduction to the very beginning part of the explanation as to how you or anybody could justify or excuse the worm of a man who has for 4 decades targeted women, children and male civilians from many backgrounds including his own people.

    Then you’d have to do a headstand, perched on your nose, to justify how he got people murdered, had his own people suffer tremendously even when Israel was not in control of Areas A, brainwashed children to hate and to kill and to sacrifice themselves, all the while ensuring he and his cronies were well fed and compensated. I mean, this post was about his wife living on $100,000 a MONTH.

    When you’re done, I’m sure you can join the circus.

  • Back to the ‘Palestinians’ – the fictive ‘nation’ created by an Egyptian, endorsed by Israel; It’s interesting to watch ‘history’ being created and nation-building before our eyes. The ‘Palestinians’ now have a ‘national monument’ and a ‘former’ first lady who gets one of those ‘past=president’ funds. I wonder where the ‘Yasser Arafat Library’ will be built to record and enshrine his history.
    Shavuah tov.

  • You guys are missing out on the juiciest bit: Suha’s Maronite Christian boyfriend, Pierre Rizk, who was an important leader of the Phalange in Lebanon during the 1980s. Remember the Phalange? Those charming guys who massacred around 900 Palestinians at Sabra and Shatila?
    I can give a cynical shrug at Suha’s money-grubbing, but her boyfriend’s background is absolutely creepy. It’s the equivalent of a Holocaust survivor dating an SS officer.

  • Yeah, not to defend the Phlangists but they had been massacred a couple of times by Palestinian forces prior to the Sabra and Shatilla massacre.
    I want to point out that Suha was raised a Christian, so it’s not surprising that she’s having a relationship with a Maronite.

  • I would think he reminds her of her former husband.

    Do you have a link or source showing her with boyfriend? I didn’t know about this.

  • I urge everyone to read that article. This is an amazing universe of characters. 😆 Thanks, Lisa!