Um, hello? Mom?

Could you come pick me up? I’m hungry and these soldiers are holding me here. Nothing! I swear, I did nothing! I’m at the Hawara Checkpoint. Why? Um, I dunno. Okay, okay, stop shouting! I wanted to go to Tel Aviv. I know there are no Palestinians in Tel Aviv except for a few restaurant workers! That’s why I was going, no Palestinians. No, I’m not gay and running to safety. Mom, come on, I know you get it – all Jews, no Palestinians, I’m fifteen. THAT’S IT! I TOLDJA I DID NOTHIN WRONG! I was gonna blow myself up. Take as many Yahoodi as I could with me. I know you’re proud, just wait till you tell Poppa. He’s gonna shep naches. Mom, you wouldn’t believe it, but I saw a vision of one of the virgins . You know. Yeah, one of the seventy two. Yeah, those. So I saw one, I think. Yeah! I was on the Internet and found a site called Jewlicious. Mom, what does frum mean?

Yup, it’s time for another teenager to be captured wearing a bombing belt. In other news, Sharon and Abbas are meeting next week to agree to a “cease fire.”