Ron Jeremy, who is one of America’s more prominent porn stars and happens to be Jewlic, er, Jewish, can now be seen gracing a new PETA ad. It reads, “Too Much Sex is a Bad Thing.”
When asked about it, he mentioned that he wished he had been a shomer negiyah, but has completely messed up his Olam Ha’ba (next world) prospects by sleeping around with countless women, many of whom have breasts enhanced by America’s vaunted medical profession.
“It ain’t fun,” he was thought to have been overheard saying, “I can’t go anywhere without being propositioned by svelte, big-breasted, beautiful women who think that it’s possible to emulate in real life what it takes hours of lighting and makeup to reproduce on a movie set. I try, but boy do I suffer for it. If only I had listened to my mom and gone to rabbinical school and married Lorraine from Atlanta.” He added wistfully.
It should be noted that PETA is extremely effective at generating publicity. As someone who enjoys Thai roast chicken, grilled hamburger, tender steak, Italian meat sauce, French beef stew, chicken with olives (Moroccan style), Hungarian style schnitzel, and properly cooked chamin (cholent) among many other Middle Eastern, North African, Chinese, Japanese and European meat dishes, I am not so happy about giving them even more public attention.
Hmmmm, all of a sudden I’m hungry.
Hat tip to Judapest.
You’re hungry? Contemplating Ron Jeremy in any kind of sexual (or rabbinic) situation actually makes me lose all of my appetites completely.
Speaking of chamin, I remember when I was a kid eating chamin on shabbat, we’d almost fall asleep after the meal, it was so heavy, but tasty. By the way, T_M, did your Mom cook it with the bits of liver on the lid of the pot? Ha, ha! Good memories.
Liver?
Liver is meant to be eaten with caramelized onions.
ron jeremy: concert pianis(t)
(nsfw)
[ed. note: do not click if you are averse to seeing portions of the male anatomy being used in new and innovative ways. TM
Seriously, do not click if seeing the nakedness of a man offends you in any way, the link Mobi provided is soft porn]
Ah yes, it takes Mobius a.k.a Dan a.k.a Jewschool to provide us with a perfect example of why Jewish Law is necessary and works. Warning signs tempt…they say: “Go in…taste it…You know you wanna”. They don’t prevent, never have. But Jewlicious is run by more than one person, and I’m assuming comic soft-porn, exposed penises and a quick shot of almost-felatio is ok by some of the founders. C’est la vie. You hit a low here folks. Not because you allowed the link, but because it comes on the heels of some very deep and intelligent convos about intimacy, love, marriage, etc. Ah…the internet is a bit of cess pool anyway. Ok kids, jump in.
Shtreimel?
Was my warning insufficient? There, I just strengthened it.
Besides, why are you making generalizations about Jewish laws, etc.? Have you never played the piano with your penis?
If Ron Jeremy isn’t Jewlicious, Muffti is quitting Jewlicious.
I was gonna put a pic of the ad up, but dude, Ron Jeremy is Jewish, sure, but he’s nasty! In this case, “Anyone but Ron” clauses in porn starlet contracts are completely understandable. And porn starlets have never been known to be, you know, too selective or squeamish.
ck, please put the pic up.
Pretty please.
TM: Did you think that maybe some people want to have dinner tonight?
Good point. They should be sure to have some meat.
meat sucks
Whatever, ck. Muffti repeats: If Ron Jeremy isn’t Jewlicious, Muffti is quitting Jewlicious.
IMHO, RJ is Jewpulsive. I think an “anyone but RJ” clause can only be good for humanity, and also good for the Jews. And I’m not even a porn star (anymore).
Sorry to see you go, Muffti.
Whatever. NJG gets the accolade for not doing stuff while RJ is denied because the ladies don’t liek his look?
Fuck it. Muffti’s outta here.
Had a friend who made a doc film about Porn starts, their names, etc. He told me they’re some of the most depressed, sad, and f’ed people he’s ever met. But somehow, and I’m not sure how, we elevate their pain…their success…as some form of accomplishment, something to aspire to. It’s really weird.
Fine. You and your boyfriend Ron Jeremy can come back.
In his shlemiel-like appearance Ron Jeremy embodied the “every man” look that was pervasive in the homegrown porn of the 70s and 80s. Although he is better endowed than most men, your average consumer of porn could relate to him making the earlier brand of porn more evocative – allowing men to fantasize that they too could have wanton indiscriminate sex with “beautiful” women. Modern era porn now uses well muscled, good looking men and while productions are slicker and actors like Ron Jeremy are considered anachronistic, the new product is less… well, haimish.
For hearkening back to a friendlier era in porn, Ron Jeremy will always be Jewlicious. Repulsive, but Jewlicious nonetheless.
Allright. Muffti’s back. Thanks ck. Pfffffffft! Esther.
I’m with shtreimel on this.
Allowing mob’s post here is sick. Let him make a similar post and put it on his site.