Cold Day in Hell

Laya and I had a lunch meeting today at the Mount Zion Hotel about a project we can’t tell you about and with people we can’t name. Suffice it to say though, that if all goes as planned, it’ll be pretty damned cool. These people who we can’t name were hosts of the Foreign Ministry and were put up in nice suites at the Hotel. These suites have huge terraces overlooking the Old City and the Valley of Gehenom.

That’s right. The rooms overlook Hell – the Hebrew wordd for Hell is Gehenom and I was there. And back. Ha ha.

I was also inspired to take a photo because it was indeed a very cold day today. In Hell. All I would have needed to complete the analogy was a snowball. But whatever, I felt it was noteworthy. The events of the rest of the day also bore out the analogy. See, people who live in Israel might say “It’ll be a cold day in Hell before you receive good customer service from Israelis.” That being the case I decided today was going to be the day I order telephone and Internet access for Beit Jewlicious, overlooking lovely Machaneh Yehuda (the main Jerusalem produce market). Sure enough, I called the phone company, Bezeq, and had the most pleasant and helpful conversation with Ortal, who while setting up everything for me, took the time to patiently answer all my questions, even those not directly related to telephony.

Michael and I ought to be online by Wednesday. Thanks Bezeq! Thanks Ortal! Thanks Satan, Dark Lord of the Underworld!

Follow me

About the author


Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.


  • I drive by there ever day on the way to HU, and if I’m speaking to a friend, I can never resist saying that I just went through Hell. Pleased to see that I’m not the only cheesy one out there.

  • Hell looks lovely this time of year.

    But I can’t believe you missed the chance to headline this “Jewlicious Goes to Hell.”

  • Now, if the desk clerk’s name at the hotel translates as Old Scratch, I’ll be entirely convinced.

    Hmm, if this is what awaits, the sin quota gets ratcheted up. Cool.

  • Tom, it’s ironic how the whole hell thing got overblown, huh?

    Anyway, it looks like beautiful spring in Israel.

    You know, ck, think about getting a couple of your other posters to Israel for some of these cool activities…

  • This makes for a full-bore spiritual crisis, Middle. WE go to hell to get, uh, en fuego’d. YOU and ck drop by at leisure, to engage in unspecified, darkly seductive ‘cool activities’– apparently on condition that they’re not revealed to outsiders. It’s probably, like, sex or something. Sure, it is. Dammit. (Really.)

    This whole post– NOW I’m onto it– it’s just another temptation, isn’t it? . . .

    Aye, ye Cloven Hoof! Get thee hence, Foul Fiend!!

  • Tom: The road to hell is indeed paved. With asphalt. No good intentions to be seen anywhere.

    As for the rest of what you wrote, I have no idea what the, ahem, hell, you’re talking about.

  • isn’t the jerusalem cinematheque situated in or very near Hell?

    and isn’t that also the same valley in which the devotees of Ba’al Pe’or conducted their “let’s make a big fat stinky poo for our God” supplications?

    mmmm…. poo….

  • ok guys, i think the horse is good and dead and beaten beyong all recognition.

  • The Mt Zion hotel is a great place to hold a wedding, in their garden. An old-worldish, non- glitzy place, with great food, a great view, and not expensive either. It is beyond beautiful.

  • Hell looks nicer than Berlin. A lot nicer.

    Nope ofri, the horse is still alive :-p

  • Actually, it’s Gay Henom

    ‘gay’ is valley
    henom is the name of the valley.

  • yes, josh, that is true. and i bet some other people knew that too, but why ruin the fun for everyone?

  • Did you go to hell in a handbasket, ck, or did you drive?

  • Tom: Oddly enough… there is a kind of suspended basket going from the Har Zion Hotel to the Old city. I should have taken a pic… Made out of metal, it apparently was used in 1948 to ferry medecine and munitions across the valley to fighters in the old city. It kinda looks like a handbasket. While it still hangs there, I didn’t get to ride it. And I got to hell in a cab.

    For the record…

  • Wow, ck. That’s the problem with biblical stugg. You think it’s just a metaphor. And it turns out to be real . . .

  • Why coulnd’t you get a ball of ice trucked in and prove you have a snowballs chance.

  • hi david, i’m flatured of your kind words, you are most welcome, and you know you can turn to me whenever you want.
    ortal, bezeq.

  • Heh. Bezeq rocks – well so far at least. That 5 mb connection that Ortal suggested is hella fast, let’s hope the first bill doesn’t bankrupt us ….