Dear Jewlicious readers,

You may recall our previous discussion about terrorists with combovers. At that time I promised that we would follow up with a discussion of terrorists with warts on their noses. It is time.

That’s right, our old friend with the combover, terrorist Mahmoud al-Zahar who is now the legitimately elected Palestinian Minister of Foreign Affairs, now has an international media platform. Recently speaking to a Chinese news agency, he said,

“I dream of hanging a huge map of the world on the wall at my Gaza home which does not show Israel on it,” he said. “I hope that our dream to have our independent state on all historic Palestine (including Israel).”

“This dream will become real one day. I’m certain of this because there is no place for the state of Israel on this land,” said al-Zahar.

Now, although the reporter is circumspect about this matter, there is no question that during the interview, she or he was unable to take her/his eyes off al-Zahar’s huge wart.

al-zahar.jpg

Yup, that’s the mother of all nose warts. It sticks out not unlike an Orthodox Jewish woman in a lineup at the Golden Pussy Bar and Striptease Club.

Indeed, it is there. It is vile. It is gross.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I realize this is a human being. I also realize that by focusing on his large nose wart, I am diminishing his essence as a human being. I could, for example, wax poetically about his love for the targeting and blowing up of innocent Israeli civilians. I could harp on and on like Lily Laskine (famous, deceased, amazing, classical harp player) about his denial of Israel’s right to exist or even of a genuine Jewish connection to the Land of Israel. I could speak to the fact that somebody probably calls him, “Dad.”

But I can’t. You see, I have trouble focusing on the person and what he has to say because that wart just sticks out at me. Its curvature, its slightly rough edges, its position just to the right potentially causing his entire face to slant rightward but in fact being balanced by the combover heading in the opposite direction (do Palestinian terrorists also have gay hairdressers?).

Yup, the wart overwhelms everything else about Mahmoud. Somewhere on that nose, there is a microbe giving a press conference to microbe reporters explaining that he climbed this wart “because it was there.”

But there’s more about the wart. You can see another, smaller one, near his eyebrow. I’m sure that this wart grew after the first. He was probably touching the mother wart one day and then somehow touched another part of his face where there was a little crack in the skin, et voila, new wart. He probably has one or two others hiding under that beard and perhaps new ones sprouting over his body. It’s a virus after all, and those are hard to kill. Does it just continue to grow and expand, slowly taking over the entire body? Does it suck up nutrients and blood that would otherwise go to feed other parts of his body?

mahmoud.jpg

That wart.

Hmmmm…that terrorist, Mahmoud al-Zahar – the legitimately elected Palestinian Minister of Foreign Affairs – is someone I just cannot see as a person. In fact, thanks to his wart, I visualize him as a walking wart with a body attached to it.

Hey, I know! Let’s call that body, Mahmoud’s body, “the Palestinians.” And the wart? Let’s call it, “Hamas.”

You have to feel a little sorry for the Palestinians and pray that soon they’ll head over to the pharmacy to get some wart-removal medicine. It doesn’t completely destroy the virus, but it minimizes its presence and opens the door to…peace.

About the author

themiddle

16 Comments

  • You have to feel a little sorry for the Palestinians

    No. Not until they stop killing us or trying to kill us. If that’s how they want to get attention, then that’s not ‘legitimate’.

  • TM wrote: I could speak to the fact that somebody probably calls him, “Dad.”

    For the record, Mahmoud al-Zahar or in Arabic محمود الزهار, is in fact the father of 4 children with his wife Summaya, including their first son, Khaled born in 1974, and a daughter Rima born in 1983. Khaled was killed on September 10, 2003 when an Israeli F-16 dropped a large bomb over his house in Rimal that only managed to slightly wound him. Amongst the 20 wounded was his daughter Rima.

    al-Zahar is also a medical Doctor with an MD from the University of Cairo and a Masters in General Surgery from Ain Shams University, also in Cairo. His Mom is Egyptian.

    In any case, given what the IDF has done to his family, one can understand his mind set – never mind that he brought it upon himself by being actively involved in terrorist activities.

    You can read this interesting article if you want to know about the good Doctor’s opinions about Homosexuality and mixed dancing:

    Dr Zahar condemned homosexual marriage, saying: “Are these the laws for which the Palestinian street is waiting? For us to give rights to homosexuals and to lesbians, a minority of perverts and the mentally and morally sick?”

    The article, written after Hamas successes in municipal elections is titled “No dancing and no gays if Hamas gets its way” is a small harbinger of things to come. Oy …

  • Someone tell Zahar that straight guys can dance, too.

    Middle, every bad guy is entitled to his distinguishing bodily accoutrement, no? Didn’t Mao have a wart, too? Though, in Zahar’s case, a wart AND a moustache is a bit over the top.

  • Middle, you make a valiant try with this post, but man, these Hamas guys just aren’t very interesting. Good for the occasional laughter in the dark, but that’s about it.

    I miss Fatah. I miss hypocrisy. And venality, plausible deniability, Professor Said– I’ll take it all over lockstep fanaticism and simple-mindedness anytime.

  • Tom, that’s like a dagger in the heart of any writer. Ouch! Anyway, I don’t think these guys are simple-minded at all. As ck points out, this man is a doctor. If you look at Hamas’s roster, it is littered with Ph.D.s and other advanced degrees. But I do agree about the religious fanaticism part.

    Ck, I want to feel sympathy for al-Zahar, but my sympathy lies with his son who is as much a victim of this man’s violence and teachings as all of the Israelis who have been harmed over the years by his movement. He is a key founding member of Hamas and is therefore responsible not only for the violence they have perpetrated, but also for the Palestinian society’s evolution into a culture that accepts suicide bombings as a weapon. You may “understand his views” regarding Israel after what the IDF has done to his family in trying to target him, but those views were there decades and hundreds of innocent Israel lives and thousands of innocent Israel maimed (and one can easily include the Palestinian victims in this total) prior to that IDF attack.

  • I’m a little confused, how is this different than palestinians making fun of Sharon for being fat? Vilifying someone based on the way they look seems a little silly to me, am I the only one who feels this way?

  • Of course I’m being silly. Would you rather all the posts about these people be serious and morbid? Did you want me to talk about how fucked up it is to justify sending people, sometimes kids, off to massacre civilians? Did you want me to call this man a degenarate murderer and to point out how disgusting it is that he even had the chance to have a single meeting at “Foreign Minister” of the Palestinian people? I could, but how often can we repeat ourselves?

    It’s telling that in a life as serious as this man’s, wherein he is a faithful and devout Muslim, a proud Palestinian, a terrorist who advocates wholesale murder of Jews preferably in public places, a terrorist who has seen his movement commit atrocities, this guy actually cares enough about his looks to have a combover. Pointing out that he has a wart so prominent one cannot look away seems to me an apt analogy for what Hamas is to the Palestinians. Except for the fact that the Hamas wart just took over their government.

    And for the record, I see nothing wrong with calling Sharon a fat man or even making fun of his appetite. Maybe if some more people had done so to his face, he’d still be with us.

    Arafat was an ugly mofo.

    Bush can’t even read his teleprompter coherently.

    Netanyahu struts with the cockniness of a male peacock.

    Who else would you like to add to the list?

  • I’m a big fan of your blogsmanship, btw, Middle! And kudos on the Lily Laskine reference– you’re right, a great artist.

    Well, these guys may be doctors and engineers and plumbers, but they can be simple-minded spiritually and politically. Simple-minded doesn’t mean stupid: There’s a perfectly good case to be made that Hamas’s methods have worked quite well so far.

  • It figures that in a blog full of Jews, my one fan is a Roman Catholic lawyer.

    Anyway, I don’t know whether you’ve ever heard the 3rd cd on this list but I strongly recommend it although I couldn’t find it for sale on Amazon or other large US retailers.

  • Separated at birth…Dr.Mahmoud al-Zahar and Dr.Zaius from Planet of the Apes …check it out.

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