Eat Your Guns

The news is awash with reports of gunmen gone wild all across the West Bank and Gaza. I can’t really be bothered with all the details really – suffice it to say that it usually involves groups of gunmen from one militia or another protesting against something or marching in solidarity with something else, usually while firing into the air. Or taking pot shots at gunmen from other armed gangs. If you care, here are some stories you can read. The photo above, which appeared on the cover of this morning’s Jerusalem Post, shows a Palestinian gunman from the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades in Tulkarem firing into the air as he and supporters of the group protest against statements made by Khaled Mashall, head of Hamas’ political bureau in Syria. Mashall was denounced by protesters as a “dirty animal.”

What intrigued me more than all the political infighting and what this might auger for the future of the Hamas government, was well… looking at that photo I thought “Man! Those are some majorly pimped out assault rifles!” I can understand getting expensive mods if you’re some kind of bad ass commando dude, but why spend all the money if you’re just some low level Palestinian militia ass clown? Is the pimpitude of one’s assault rifle in inverse proportion to one’s fighting prowess and/or penis size? How customized does an M-4 or an AK-47 need to be if its main purpose is to fire bullets into the air?

And what of the expense involved? How much are the cash strapped Palestinians spending so that they can look like Rambo-esque bad asses to the photogs from the AP, Agence France Presse and Reuters? Let’s see, here’s a little list:

Samson Flashlight mount – $49 – $149
Tri-Tech Sling – $65
Surefire Flashlight – $129
Aimpoint Rifle Scope – $420
Aimpoint Magnifier Mount – $219
Harris Bipod – $89
Phantom Flash Suppressor – $29.95
ERGO Tactical Grip – $49.95
Vertical Grip Magazine Carrier – $39.95
5.56mm (M4) 7.62 mm (AK-47) ammo – 1000 rounds, $200

AK-47s can be had in Gaza for about $200 a pop and the lighter, more modern M-4s for about $400.

Man. That’s a lot of money – especially given that the average gunman earns about $200 a month – when they get paid.

Remember when Palestinian Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh said that the Palestinian people would not bow down to the threatened cut off of international aid? Rather than renouncing violence and recognizing the state of Israel, Palestinians under the leadership of Hamas were willing to “eat salt and olives.”

He added that Hamas was not a stupid organization, saying: “I am not a clown and none of ministers of my government are dumb.”

Relax Ismail! But here’s a piece of advice – forget salt and olives dude! If you’re hungry, tell your peeps to EAT THEIR FUCKING GUNS – with a side order of ammo. Yum!

About the author

ck

Founder and Publisher of Jewlicious, David Abitbol lives in Jerusalem with his wife, newborn daughter and toddler son. Blogging as "ck" he's been blocked on twitter by the right and the left, so he's doing something right.

20 Comments

  • Actually, I see no such accessories. Pretty stock weapons…and any sights/ir’s used are usually the result of a stolen weapon.

  • Still, you gotta give the guy in the blue credit. He is saying, “sure, I hate the Jews, and damned straight I support jihad, but that doesn’t mean I need to dress drab like all the other Fundamentalists. A little bright color is okay. I may be a future martyr, but I’m still my own person.”

  • Awesome post. You’re damn right–some of the pimped-out weapons I’ve seen in photos would make a warrior for the Zionist Entity jealous–not to mention a Blood in downtown LA, who would be my immediate comparison.

    And I thought the PA was poor.

    Things that make you go, “hmmmmm.”

  • shtreimel: The clown in middle has a totally ridiculous non-standard Vertical Grip Magazine Carrier, a scope and mount and a non-standard tube stock on his M-4. The clown on the left has a non-standard vertical grip and a very mean looking flash suppressor on his AK-47. They all seem to have padded slings because those guns get pretty heavy to carry around on all those marches – keeps their delicate shoulders from getting too sore. I also went through over 360 images from the various parades and gunfights today – many of those rifles are definitely tricked out.

  • “gunman gone wild”

    I have a feeling there’s no shirt lifting involved. Then again, I’ll count my blessings that there isn’t…

  • The website isayeret.com (before it became pay-to-play only) had a rundown on the standard accessory rigs used by various Tzahal elite (and other) units. It would be interesting to see what % of Palestinian weapons match those rigs exactly, meaning what % of Pal. weapons are stolen from Israeli stocks.

    I suppose the Palestinians don’t have to worry about maintaining ammo compatibility across large units because most of their piguei yeri in Israel have been done by one- or two-man suicide teams.

    5.56mm NATO and 7.62mm Warsaw Pact ammo have VERY nasty ballistic properties inside the human body and the Palestinian Red Crescent Society (www.prcs.org) used to have great tutorial web pages for emergency workers on treating wounds caused by high-velocity rifle ammunition. Ironic, yes, but it meant SOMEONE on the “other side” was taking the Hippocratic Oath seriously in making those pages available.

  • First, CK where did you get such schooling? Montreal? I am impressed and figure that you have been moonlighting for some agency larger and more powerful that this one :-), like the FDA for example.

    Has there been anything in the mainstream press about the tricked out weapons?

    It makes sense from an anthropological perspective. Guns are the symbols of status and power in that society. Here we have tricked out cars, b/c cars are still he most common denominator in terms of status.

    In Israel, what is the prime determiner of status?

  • that’s FUCKIGN NICE emphasis ,right there,Ck.In fact the whole last sentense smacks of some serious conviction.AWESOME.

  • I just always wonder what happens to all the bullets after they fire into the air.

    What goes up must come down.

  • Oh, yeah.

    Can you say “target rich environment”? I knew you could.

    It seems to me that Israel could pretty easily drop a missile or three into one of these “protest marches” without too much trouble.

    Really give them something to protest about.

    But it really seems that, finally, at long last, the paleos are about to start killing each other in earnest, relieving, it is to be hoped, Israel of the time and expense of doing it themselves.

    I mean, after all, didn’t soembody say that the new Ham-ass government is now responsible for general sanitation, garbage disposal, and street cleaning?

  • Oh, about the time the paleos blew up a bunch of people sitting down to a Seder in Tel Aviv a couple years back.

    Believe me, if I had my ‘druthers, we would have our state, they would have their state (that has been offered to them on a silver platter about a zillion times), and we would be having each other over for Shabbos cholent.

    As it is, I don’t see any way out of this without a lot of bloodshed, which the paleos really seem to be jonesing for. If we are lucky, they will spend their bloodlust in a huge fratricidal bloodbath (I’m thinking along the lines of Black Septmber) and save Israel the trouble of doing it for them.

  • Editing out “penis”? Are people shocked at seeing non-vulgar officially-accepted scientific terminology for body parts in print now? What next? Clitoris? Mammary gland? Vas deferens? Gall bladder?

    “Shhh, Timmy, don’t say ‘aortic valve’! God is listening!”

  • Do I seem worried to you? Take that entire list and give it all to one martyr. He still won’t be half as equipped as an IDF soldier during an operation.

    Let alone the fact that having a big gun aint enough, much like a dick, they gotta learn to use it.

  • I don’t see any of those in that picture (except one guy in front with an attached mag holder).

    Check this out: [url deleted]

    It’s pretty convincing!

  • Oh you mean the vertical grip magazine carrier? Indeed, but you missed the very visible tactical grips, the non-standard flash suppressor, and the rifle scope and magnifier mount. I expect more from Texans. You don’t know guns and also, you’re an asshole.

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