gigantic strawberries of Jerusalem

Maybe it shoulda been the land of milk, honey and friggin ginormous strawberries. Now available at a shuk near you.

This one was practically the size of my hand.

Feel free to fly in and taste what fruit REALLY tastes like, all ye skeptics of culinary Zionism.

About the author

Laya Millman

15 Comments

  • So I’m not normally one to proclaim that anything here is better than back in America, but this one, I’ll gladly give. The strawberries here are downright fantastic.

    They actually taste like the artificial-flavor “pink” that is in so many of our favorite candies.

    How they get it to taste that way, I don’t know, but I for one am not complaining at all.

  • Sadly, the general feeling among foodies is that the larger the strawberry is, the less flavor/sweetness it has.

  • This post and foto begs many bad jokes, none of which are of a sexual nature or revolve around Laya’s expression. Definitely not one that reminds me of an old song by The Tubes. (Some kind of prize to the pervert/classic rock fan who knows what song and what lyric.)

    We’re too above that kind of fruity humor at Jewlicious. Or are we? Here’s one that Jews of all ages can laugh at:

    A man walks into the doctor’s office. He has a huge strawberry growing out of his head.

    The doctor says “I’ll give you some cream to put on that.”

    I think the lesson to be learned from this is that, like Israel, it isn’t the size of the strawberry that matters, but how good it tastes.

  • I saw a big ass kiwi in the shuk two days ago and was scared and intrigued at the same time. I didn’t buy it, though, so I could always long for something about life in Jerusalem. A little yearning’s good for a writer…

  • ramon marcos: Don’t Touch Me There? She’s a Beauty? White Punks on Dope??? I give up – who the hell knows what kind of bizarre associations your mind is capable of…

    Nathan and Deis Cane: I ate that strawberry. It was awesomely delicious regardless of its size or polyploidy (ewww… I read that Wikipedia entry, gross!)

  • ck, the prize goes to the “pervert/classic rock fan” who figures it out. I would never accuse you of being a classic rock fan. But don’t give up. You want that prize. You know it.

    You ate that strawberry? What, you just grabbed it out of Laya’s hand and ate it? Leaving her nothing but the image of juice from a mutated strawberry running down your chin? Or is my mind making bizarre associations again?

    A few clues: First album; last line of song; Randolph Mantooth and Paul Williams are namechecked (which means nothing to anyone under 40); it’s a play on words related to the foto in the post. White Punks On Dope is closer than the other two.

  • Song is What Do You Want From Life from the first Tubes album, released in 1975 and produced by Al Kooper. Lyric is:

    “… or a baby’s arm holding an apple?”

    Doesn’t seem too perverted to me. Even the line ” a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams” made sense given how short Paul Williams is/was (is he even alive??).

    A babe’s arm holding a strawberry? Dude, talk about obscure references. Surely we can do better than that?

    Now what the fuck do i win? Is it cold hard cash?

  • Off topic – kind of – but hey. The BF brought back, amongst tasty Israeli candy, an orange. A fresh from the Shuk orange, flow for me from Israel with love. I am eating it now and it is heaven. Honestly, I would have been golden calf what? Where is my orange tree…. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • OK ck, I tried to respond like, three times and none went through… it was like I could see the bugs running around the screen. Hope this makes it through…

    DING! We have a winner! Your prize is – in spite of the fact you used the internet, which is still foreign to most classic rock luddites, and that you don’t see the association between the foto of laya and the lyric just a little sick – is, in lieu of cold hard cash, a cd by:

    http://paulwilliamsconnection.org/

    Email your address. All winners pay shipping and handlling and are subject to Homeland Security background checks.

  • Numbers 13:23… my (healthy) obsession with pomegranates started a few decades ago after a Israeli relative gave me my first Israeli pomegranate… in my opinon the fruit of the G-d.

  • Oh, man. The fresh-squeezed pomegranate juice at the Akko shuk were so good that even ck ditched the group to get some of that yummy goodness. :-p

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